Seven Guys You Meet at Flyfishing Lodges
      1. The Been-There-Done-That Guy
        He is a walking, yammering Wikipedia of guides, lodges, rivers, oceans, lakes and fish. He’s the best caster he’s ever met. He sets up his vise on the bar during happy hour and forces you to notice his extraordinary tying skills. He owns three obscure IGFA records and is working on six more that no one will care about. He’ll ask you a question about fishing just so he can cut you off in mid-reply and answer it himself. He is, quite possibly, the most uninteresting man in the world.
Lodge Guest
    1. The Industry Guy
      He comes in many forms: shop owner, travel agent, writer, photographer and gear rep. If he’s a new industry guy he’ll do well to keep his voice down and his head below the radar. If he’s a career industry guy he’ll concede the best guides, sleep in the worst bed, eat leftovers with the kitchen help, and repeatedly announce to everyone within earshot, “I’m just happy to be here!”
    2. The High-Maintenance Guy
      If you’re sharing the lodge with this guy, you should take comfort in the fact that you’re booked into the best week of the year for wind, sunlight, tide, temperature, moon phase and fish movement. He wouldn’t be there if all those planets weren’t perfectly aligned. Unfortunately, your week will still suck because he’s left you with the worst guide, a leaky boat, last choice of fishing water, and a room with a small insect problem.
    3. The Gear Queer
      You know him well. He ships his rod and duffel arsenal to the lodge in advance. He cleans his fly lines every ten minutes and replaces his backing nightly. He can tie knots with his feet that Flip and Lefty have never heard of. His leader recipes are written on index cards. His vest is a bulging, tangled grab bag of useless doohickeys. He firmly believes that the next great rod design is the one that will finally allow him to accurately deliver a fly past his current maximum range of sixteen feet.
    4. The Life of the Party
      He’s the last one to bed and the last one up. If he gets on the water at all it’s only because the lodge bar is closed during fishing hours. Sometimes he’ll have a trophy companion in tow. If she’s still on her feet after happy hour and dinner, there’s a good chance that the lodge’s weekly tip pool will be quickly depleted in $1 increments.
    5. The Whiner
      Hold your nose while reading this and exaggerate each syllable break. My bed sheets are gritty. My guide called me a Pendejo. Our motor runs really smokey. Two bath towels for an entire week? These fish are really spooky. Does the wind always blow this hard? There’s a dead scorpion in our shower. I’ve only caught two fish all week. Twenty bucks a day for guide tips? This lettuce is wilted. Do you have any Dijonnaise?
    6. The Angler
      This is the guy that you likely didn’t notice. He brought the right gear and knew how to use it. He caught plenty of fish but didn’t feel the need to tell you about them. He was the nice guy at the dinner table that listened more than he talked; the guy whose face you’ll probably remember, but whose name you’ll never recall.