As spring runoff works its way out of the nation’s river systems, many underemployed, overfished trout bums fear that their favorite Forest Service campsites will be closed this summer due to President Trump’s proposed budget constraints. As a result, Walmart parking lots across the country are now filling up with tailgating anglers. “It’s cheaper than a KOA and it’s hard to beat their bulk cereal selection,” said a recently converted Walmart overnighter, who wished to be identified as “Streamer Joe.” Joe used to stay at the Forest Service-run Canyon Campground along the Yellowstone River for the maximum allowed 14-day period, when rangers would boot him. He’s been in Bozeman’s Walmart parking lot for the past 37 nights, no questions asked.
This relationship between vagabond flyfishers and the Walmart Corporation is the sort of public-private partnership Trump has championed since the earliest days of the campaign. We reached out to the Administration for comment but received only an auto-response stating, “Thank you for your inquiry. This public relations post has not yet been filled by the current administration.”