Bittersweet

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B.M. Barrelcooker
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Bittersweet

Post by B.M. Barrelcooker » Sun Oct 10, 2010 9:12 pm

Here I am on the gulf coast in the saltwater that I consider home. The "hootch" turns into appalachicola and dumps into the gulf here. I have spent lots of time here living in a tent, shucking oysters, shrimping, and chasing redfish. I proposed to my wife here a long time ago and have retreated here many times.
Tomorrow is a special day. Tomorrow will be sixteen years since I held my wife and my firstborn in my arms and prayed for mercy........oh dear mercy. The lord had different plans and took my child away.

It was as bitter as it could possibly be. And I have spent countless hours of my life since that day trying to understand why. I have trusted even though I haven't understood.I can't say that it hasn't hurt but I can say that he is good and right and I know that he loves me and his plan is perfect.

Last night upon arriving we went out to eat and outside the restaurant my thirteen year old lost a ring I had just given her. It was my"promise ring" . A symbol of my promise as a dad to always love and take care of her......and she had lost it in the sand. We looked but it was dark and we were tired from travel. I promised her we would look in the morning.

I couldn't sleep . I was up at daylight . The owner of the resturaunt wished me luck but didn't give me much hope. He laughed when I told him I had all week to find my baby' s ring. He didn't understand.

I found it at fifteen after ten. I had moved about two pickup truck loads of sand with a plastic shovel .......I found it! And I cried. ....oh I cried.......because this time there was something I could do and goddammit I did it! And I'll never give up. Never.

I spent the rest of the morning with my four kids on the beach. We caught some whiting and missed a few crabs with the net . We burried little Bob up to his neck in the sand and watched a guy down the way land a nice pompano after a long fight. This afternoon I got out on the boat and despite a slow bite I got my redfish. A nice 24" beauty along with a raw index finger again from stripping the line.

Life is good and the Lord is good. Every day to me is a reminder.

I hope y'all understand.

B.M.


I think the "BM" on this mound actually stands for "bowel movement"; one of Franzen's, if I'm not mistaken...


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The Volfish
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Re: Bittersweet

Post by The Volfish » Sun Oct 10, 2010 9:22 pm

Sounds like she has a great dad.
Do I pay full price for every place I get to fish? Fuck no. - nemo

DayTripper
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Re: Bittersweet

Post by DayTripper » Sun Oct 10, 2010 9:23 pm

two words, metal detector.

x2 on her having a great dad

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CharlieJenkem
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Re: Bittersweet

Post by CharlieJenkem » Sun Oct 10, 2010 9:24 pm

Fuck-I wasn't ready for that... Couldn't have been easy to type, let alone live through. Way to pull through on the ring. And thanks for the reminder :cool
Master of karate and friendship for everyone.

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Bobwhite
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Re: Bittersweet

Post by Bobwhite » Sun Oct 10, 2010 9:28 pm

I can't possibly imagine what it feels like to loose a child... or how it would effect me.

It sounds like it's made you stronger and more determined in a myriad of ways...

My hat is off to you, sir.

Bob White
"Why in the fuck did I miss this place? It's like missing a raging case of the clap."

"Make it matter, fuckos." jhnnythndr

" Herre jävlar vilka fiskar!!" P-A

"I'm no saint though, nor a judge. Rock that shit good and hard, and on your way out, wipe your dick on the curtains." - Kyner

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B.M. Barrelcooker
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Re: Bittersweet

Post by B.M. Barrelcooker » Sun Oct 10, 2010 9:50 pm

Image

Image


I think the "BM" on this mound actually stands for "bowel movement"; one of Franzen's, if I'm not mistaken...


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Ephemeral
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Re: Bittersweet

Post by Ephemeral » Sun Oct 10, 2010 9:53 pm

Well done through out,

well done.

eph
"Won't you tell me, brave captain why are the wicked, so strong, how can the angels get to sleep when the devil leaves his porch light on." Tom Waits

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ditchdoc
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Re: Bittersweet

Post by ditchdoc » Sun Oct 10, 2010 10:00 pm

:bow


Seriously.
Ignorance is curable. Stupidity is forever.

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Streamer
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Re: Bittersweet

Post by Streamer » Sun Oct 10, 2010 10:06 pm

Ephemeral wrote:Well done through out,

well done.

eph
X3

Yer Pal,
Streamer
"Because I was born in the South, I am a Southerner. If I had been born in the North, or the West, or the Central Plains, I would be just a human being." - Clyde Edgerton

Tragedy and comedy in fishing are practically synonomous.It depends on who is doing and who is looking.

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SLSS
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Re: Bittersweet

Post by SLSS » Sun Oct 10, 2010 11:02 pm

Damn BC. A reminder of how harsh and fragile life can be. Best to you and your family.
It's lime the battles between sperm whales and giant squid half a mile below the surface of the ocean. Only it happens in the palm I your hand.- thndr

when I fall, I am still cold and wet, but much more stylishly dressed. as my hat disappears in the riffle- flybug.pa


"Sugar? No thank you Turkish, I'm sweet enough."

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KP
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Re: Bittersweet

Post by KP » Sun Oct 10, 2010 11:59 pm

What a sweet reminder of all that matters.

God bless you and your's,

KP
“We think of hunting and fishing as escape, and they are. They are escape from a society of escapism: from pervasive complacency, from media pitched to the lowest common denominator, from trivialization of thought, from the politics of blandness, from gladiators, celebrities, entertainment, scandals, the life synthetic.” -– Datus Proper

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Rif_Raft
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Re: Bittersweet

Post by Rif_Raft » Mon Oct 11, 2010 3:27 am

It's Monday morning, have just fed Daisy her porridge, she is crawling around my feet playing with my toes as I type this. I just can't imagine what you and your wife went throught. A moving story. All the very best to you and yours.

Regards
Rif
NO NAMES - NO PACK DRILL

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