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By mwk
#582641
I haven't been on here much the last few years , just seeing this.

Powerful stuff, thanks for posting
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By cantfishforshit.
#582715
Sorry for your loss, .BM. Good to see you are keeping your chin up and getting out.
User avatar
By Muddled Duck
#582720
Good stuff. Can't imagine what life without faith would be like. We all have challenges every day. Some are simple, and we power through on our own, or so we think. Others, like the loss of a child, can consume us if we don't seek His help and guidance. He's there and willing even as we question His plan and, even, His existence.
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By Bigguy
#582813
Through the cacophony we call teh suk, sometimes surface things that inspire us, move us, and guide us to a deeper understanding. Of all of those rare instances of enlightenment BM, your latest is most compelling. Thanks for sharing.
User avatar
By flybug.pa.
#582824
Heavy. thank you for sharing with us all BM
User avatar
By markl
#582846
BMB, like others, I somehow missed the original installment. Pretty powerful.

When my daughter was born 17 years ago, for whatever reason, she stopped breathing and went blue - really blue. We screamed for the nurses. They came and 'bagged' her, which is the first line of treatment to restore breathing. She responded. She spent the next 4 days in the NICU undergoing all manner of tests and observation, then spent the next few months of her young life with an apnea monitor strapped to her when sleeping. We had several false alarms, and I'm surprised my heart never leapt right out of my chest every time it went off. It was the most stressful period of my life - and, I've had many. She came out fine - well, as fine as any teenager can come out, particularly from a split family. I feel fortunate.

My step-son is now 20. He left our house at 16, bombed out of university, would appear to be lost in drugs and bad decisions. But for a few brief instances, we haven't seen him since he left. It's so frustrating and painful. His last text to my wife was violent and short, and ended with, "if you ever contact me again, I'll get a restraining order". My wife is OK, but she is not the same, and likely never will be.

I have a good friend that lost his 7 year old daughter 2 years ago in a horribly tragic freak accident. He's OK, but not the same, nor is his other daughter. His wife and he made it a year and a bit, and then split. I'm pretty sure there's not many days in his life that are totally peaceful.

I don't mean to 'one up' stories (which is not possible given your experience), but to say, as I both age and simply encounter the inevitable challenges life places in your path, the concept of faith intrigues me. I'm not really religious in any manner, but can appreciate faith and the strength it provides. Especially when something you hold so dear is taken from you and makes no sense whatsoever. I'm not "there" yet, in terms of faith, but I would definitely say I have a healthy appreciation and respect for it's ability to provide support when there simply aren't any answers. The support of family and friends help, in fact they're critical, but there's no one that can be there with you late at night - not even a wife, when you are in bed and your thoughts well up like a geyser.

Thanks to your story (and Rob Loblaw's quote), I think I have a new motto in life, "keep movin' that sand". I'm a true optimist, and this fits real nice for me. So, thanks for that too.

Cheers, all the best, and thanks for sharing,
Mark
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By Muddled Duck
#582926
Great post, Mark. Prayers for your wife and stepson.
User avatar
By B.M. Barrelcooker
#609114
[report]






It's been 21 years today......as is usual for this day, I got up early and went for a long walk alone and had a great conversation.



This isn't a thread about sadness or regret.....it's more about Hope and renewal and well its just about me ......



Just part of my story.





[url=http://s462.photobucket.com/user/BMBarrelcooker/media/2015/624C437B-0FA6-4842-A1F4-B64501EF6220.jpg.html][img]http://i462.photobucket.com/albums/qq342/BMBarrelcooker/2015/624C437B-0FA6-4842-A1F4-B64501EF6220.jpg[/img][/url]





[url=http://s462.photobucket.com/user/BMBarrelcooker/media/2015/DFBA1B89-1278-472D-BA2F-3F8DEB1DC0D7.jpg.html][img]http://i462.photobucket.com/albums/qq342/BMBarrelcooker/2015/DFBA1B89-1278-472D-BA2F-3F8DEB1DC0D7.jpg[/img][/url]





[url=http://s462.photobucket.com/user/BMBarrelcooker/media/2015/970EA061-0007-427D-9EC7-096C0AE01A0C.jpg.html][img]http://i462.photobucket.com/albums/qq342/BMBarrelcooker/2015/970EA061-0007-427D-9EC7-096C0AE01A0C.jpg[/img][/url]





[url=http://s462.photobucket.com/user/BMBarrelcooker/media/2015/958C2B7F-23F9-4D8A-9353-38DFEB995C3F.jpg.html][img]http://i462.photobucket.com/albums/qq342/BMBarrelcooker/2015/958C2B7F-23F9-4D8A-9353-38DFEB995C3F.jpg[/img][/url]







[url=http://s462.photobucket.com/user/BMBarrelcooker/media/2015/9A9FB765-086C-4DA1-B9D7-2F6C2BCDD787.jpg.html][img]http://i462.photobucket.com/albums/qq342/BMBarrelcooker/2015/9A9FB765-086C-4DA1-B9D7-2F6C2BCDD787.jpg[/img][/url]



[url=http://s462.photobucket.com/user/BMBarrelcooker/media/2015/6CF860BD-4622-442D-8FEE-B2E36C20DA04.jpg.html][img]http://i462.photobucket.com/albums/qq342/BMBarrelcooker/2015/6CF860BD-4622-442D-8FEE-B2E36C20DA04.jpg[/img][/url]



[url=http://s462.photobucket.com/user/BMBarrelcooker/media/2015/4742B24D-59B8-4F2F-8C25-C7D82598B668.jpg.html][img]http://i462.photobucket.com/albums/qq342/BMBarrelcooker/2015/4742B24D-59B8-4F2F-8C25-C7D82598B668.jpg[/img][/url]





All is Well ![/report]
User avatar
By Bobwhite
#609117
ChaseChrome wrote:Peace man...
Yessir... peace.
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