Chuckles, etc

[rampant]

I laughed out loud for that one.

[root wad]

I am getting on in years and not the best looking guy anymore. Some would even say I'm a little frayed around the
edges....

But, I have a nice car, a little money, and I spend most of my time casually traveling from place to place and enjoying life.

I met a nice looking girl in a park the other evening. There was an instant spark between us.

All of a sudden, she did this cute little dance, then immediately dropped to her knees and lay on the grass at my feet.

As we lay there making love, I thought .......

"Wow, these taser guns are really worth the money!!!"

[yard4sale]

Hope you guys in the NE can survive this wicked pissah!

NE Pissah.PNG (356.99 KiB) Viewed 2696 times

[B.M. Barrelcooker]

[report][/report]

[austrotard]

I used to have a 'david duke for senate t-shirt' I'd wear in london.


...and only got me arse kicked thrice.

[BigCliff]

[austrotard]

image1.jpg (44.79 KiB) Viewed 2218 times

[Wholetmygoatsout]

Two statues – a nude male and a nude female – had been facing each other in a park for 100 years when an angel appears and tells them: "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for 30 minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they dash behind the shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel tells them: "Um, you have fifteen minutes left. Would you care to do it again?"

He asks her: "Shall we?"

She replies eagerly: "Oh, yes, let's! But we should change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head."

[BigCliff]

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant.

The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.

"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "We don't have any!"

"But I always buy it here," says the blonde.

"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.

"Yes", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out aloud from the container "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."

[Sluice Box]

[pbrstreetgang]

An Air Force Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"

A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.
A Captain said it was 50%-50%.
A Lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for his opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.
The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

[flashback]

A suicide bomber blew up a wine store. Before he detonated he was screaming "Death to the Zinfandels!"


Bad but it is kind of funny.