What's important

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Bobwhite
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What's important

Post by Bobwhite » Thu May 31, 2012 10:17 pm

I learned a really important lesson this morning.

We were in the middle of the morning madness; me doing breakfast, Lisa doing Tommy's lunch, and Tommy messing around. "Shall I play a bit of piano? Perhaps, I'll watch the TV?"

Whatever... it wasn't what the tribe needed, and I was getting a bit tense.

The particulars aren't important .

I lost my temper and snapped at my eight-year old little girl... and made her cry.

Fuck.

Lisa gave me, "the look".

I already felt like a turd. The look made me feel even lower.

I apologized to my little girl, and she smiled, and told me she loved me.

Here's what I learned.

The greatest gift a child can give a parent is forgiveness for messing things up.

The debt we owe to our children for that gift is patience.

I sure hope to get this stuff figured out one of these days.

Peace, gents.

It's off to bed for me.
"Why in the fuck did I miss this place? It's like missing a raging case of the clap."

"Make it matter, fuckos." jhnnythndr

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augustwest
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Re: What's important

Post by augustwest » Thu May 31, 2012 11:23 pm

Wise words, Bob. Thanks for the reminder.
"Enjoy every sandwich." -- W. Zevon

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K_P
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Re: What's important

Post by K_P » Thu May 31, 2012 11:40 pm

I know just how you feel--before and after.

Sucks to still be human, don't it?

Thanks for sharing. I'm sure Tommy has already put it in the distant past.

Wisconsin Gun Dogger
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Re: What's important

Post by Wisconsin Gun Dogger » Fri Jun 01, 2012 12:14 am

You made a kid cry, it's no wonder Len hates you.

Children are messy and noisy. They don’t sleep like an adult, they don’t reason like an adult, they take a long time to mature and develop (and 7, 8, 9, 10 year-olds are still little! So I am talking 21 years of growth and development!). They get sick, they laugh and cry at the wrong times, they fall down, they fight with each other and with you.

They are also wonderful. They will show you a spiritual world that you may have forgotten existed. They will say the funniest things. No one will love you like a sweet child.

It's tough to remember that you are raising a human being and there is no handbook for being a Dad. Rock as hard as you can with Tommy; you're doing the best job you know how.

Dogger

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cantfishforshit
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Re: What's important

Post by cantfishforshit » Fri Jun 01, 2012 12:19 am

Ah...I wouldn't worry about it too much, Bob, as long as it is a rare occurance. We all lose our tempers and you apologized right away. I bet that don't happen again for a long time.
Better be putting together one hell of a plan to survive this clusterfuck.
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shunned
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Re: What's important

Post by shunned » Fri Jun 01, 2012 12:40 am

folk who learn from their children are more than likely to be simpletons.

bob mate, all my girls are emotional cripples.
tomorrow it'll be something else.

rest easy, daddio.
the depths of your narcissism never cease to amaze me

-raffa of all fucking people




.

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Jed
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Re: What's important

Post by Jed » Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:30 am

There isn't one of us that hasn't done the same thing. Its a hard but important lesson to learn, hopefully only once.

jed

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B.M. Barrelcooker
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Re: What's important

Post by B.M. Barrelcooker » Fri Jun 01, 2012 6:31 am

If ya didn't feel bad about it I'd worry. In a few years she won't be able to understand why your care for her will make you an overprotective goof then she will come around and you'll be smart again. Keep lovin her!!
"worst that can happen is a big fat zero and a fine walk out of doors"---Chadroc

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T.J. Brayshaw
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Re: What's important

Post by T.J. Brayshaw » Fri Jun 01, 2012 6:43 am

I saw a t-shirt once that I wish I'd bought, but it was before my kids so I didn't have the foresight. It read "Daddy drinks because I cry."

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Da Ax
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Re: What's important

Post by Da Ax » Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:26 am

Bob, as a parent of multiple (not saying how many, but enough), I'll say this: it happens. I know I've done it more than a few times...it's how you salve the wound. On the other hand, it's important for kids to know that while Mommy and Daddy are lovey-dovey, there are times that they should be wary. A life lesson. It's about balance. She's hurt now, but you have, and probably continue, shown her how much you love here.

Life gets in the way sometimes...hard lessons I've had to learn myself. Give her a hug and tell her your sorry....doesn't help that Lisa sees you do it, either.

Peace.
The difference between decency and indecency is opportunity...

One could search their entire lives for the perfect drift, and it would not be a wasted life.

"If I owned this place and Hell, I'd rent this place out and live in Hell." -Toombs

Wisconsin Gun Dogger
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Re: What's important

Post by Wisconsin Gun Dogger » Fri Jun 01, 2012 9:37 am

The good news is that you are doing a good job as a Dad. Until she's 14, she thinks you walk on water.

The bad news is when she is between 14 and 20, she will wonder (often out loud) how you fired enough brain synapses to even put one foot in front of the other. After 20 years, you'll revert back to your wise old self in her eyes.

Dogger

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RFA
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Re: What's important

Post by RFA » Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:20 am

bob mate, all my girls are emotional cripples.
Truer words have never been spoken.

Oddly enough Bob, I did the exact same thing last night, without the kids crying, although I dropped an MF'er in my blowup tirade(1st time I had ever done that)......The redhead didn't give me a look, she gave it to me 10X's as bad and walked out. I apologized to the kids and said I would never talk like that to them again. They said "It's OK Dad". That made me feel even worse.

I think it's difficult for us men to deal with the patience/nurturing/feelings side of life (at least for me, anyway). We have eons of programming in our heads to hunt and kill. Put a little girl or boy in front of us, and we are lost. It would be similar to giving a wife who was into ball gowns, makeup, and hairstyles a spear and saying "Here - go throw this fucking thing into a deer". This isn't all women, mind you, nor is it all men (especially the pansies like Shunned). Parenting does not come naturally to me, and I have to choke down saying "Suck it the fuck up" and force out, "It'll be OK" a lot. It does open up an entire new perspective, however, and has made me a better person.
As it turns out, God? He was a squirrel. A big 'ol meaty one. "I found god, he used to say"

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