This was sometime around 2008. I was living in a sweet house with 3 other dudes just a quick walk over the railroad tracks from town. My room was downstairs near the door and a computer desk. Late one night/early one morning, I was awakened by a roommate, TonsOfFun, poking his head into my room saying, "You gotta come upstairs, I think you might know this guy." Apparently, TOF had been at the computer when he saw some guy staggering around outside and peeking in the windows. Dude found the door, walked in, gave TOF a look, then cruised upstairs to the kitchen. TOF finished rubbing one out then followed the interloper upstairs. TOF found him laying on the floor munching on some sliced bread that he had located. He was nonverbal, but responsive.
For some reason, this triggered TOF to wake me up on a school night and deal with it. And remember, there were 2 other guys that he could have called on.
So he says, "I think you might know this guy." I was groggy and foggy and still in my underoos as I went upstairs. Lo and behold, I knew who this drunk fuck was. Not a friend, but it's a small town, and we'd met a few times. "Harry!" I said, "What the fuck are you doing?" His glazed eyes rolled in my direction, he may have grunted, but I couldn't detect any recognition.
TOF and I made our intentions known, and we kicked Harry the fuck out of our house. TOF and I stood around for a few minutes, shaking our heads and trying to laugh about it when we heard some noise on the back deck. We directed Harry back to the street, but he started wandering into the woods. One thing I forgot to mention, it was the middle of winter at 9000 ft. I remember that night well, blustery with blowing snow and the temp was about -5. Also, Harry was wearing skate shoes and a hoody and at this point was wallowing in a snowbank on the side of our house. Drunk as fuck.
I happened to know where Harry lived. TOF and I rounded him up and wrestled him into the back of my Jeep. Once in the car, he became a little more lucid, but just barely. He thanked us for taking him home, and related his adventures from earlier in his journey when he was lost on the railroad tracks. By the time we had driven the quarter mile to his apartment he was incoherent again. We watched him exit the vehicle and enter a building and considered our task accomplished.
We may have saved a life that night, either by not blowing his head off or by keeping him from freezing to death.
I never saw Harry again. He got fired a couple months later for doing something really stupid and hasn't been seen in the valley since then.
tangent: One morning we found TonsOfFun passed out on the island in the kitchen. He was flat on his back with no shirt laying on the remains of last night's dinner. We roused him and when he sat up, I shit you not, he had a fork poking out of his side and a pork chop stuck to his back.
bonus: TonsOfFun is proficient with fly lines and lives in the same town as 4eyedgeek.