Of Squawfish and Rabies: A Glorious Failure

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CarelessEthiopian
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Re: Of Squawfish and Rabies: A Glorious Failure

Post by CarelessEthiopian » Tue Aug 09, 2016 3:26 pm

Bruiser wrote: And I got Batboy pretty dunked with another bad choice but he dried off by dinner.
This tale should be told so that others may learn from my mistake. It might save someone from an unintended swim.


There was a spot in the river where you could go left or right around a rock in the middle of the river. Bruiser was in front and chose the bigger left slot. As he got in the slot he hand signaled me to go right (we had hand signals worked out. i got to use the "bighorn sheep" one 3 times). As I approached the right slot, I could see why he told me to go the other way. There was a sharp rock in the middle of the left slot that was hidden by an upstream wave. So I went right and got stuck on a small sleeper. I tried to power off of it but we were stuck good and it was too deep to get out. I don't remember why, but at some point I let go of an oar handle. We were perpendicular to the flow, and the upstream oar blade got swept toward the stern. The handle went forward toward the front bay where Batboy was. Batboy was in the pinch point and the oar swept him right off the boat. It happened sort of slow, but he didn't have enough time to react and I couldn't stop the oar. We both looked at each other when we knew he was going in the water. He went in and was able to grab the chicken line on the bow. I dove into the front and grabbed him by one PFD shoulder strap. His body was under the raft, being pulled downstream, and we couldn't get him up into the boat. We were calm, and I asked him, "can I take you around the bow to the other side of the boat?" He said yes. I had him by both shoulder straps by then, so as he held the chicken line I steered him around the bow. The whole time I was repeating "I've got you man. I've got you."

When we got to the downstream side and he said, "Hey hold up. You're not freaking out right now, are you?" I said, "Not at all. I'm totally fine. I have you." Then he said, "Good, because I'm standing on the rock." We kind of paused for a few seconds as we both had the same idea. I said, "can you push us off the rock?" He said, "I can try."

Batboy pushed off, and we glided away. We pulled him in the boat. Didn't even lose his hat. We looked downstream and although they were 100 yards away, I could see the worried look in the other crew's eyes.

It was a close call and could have ended very differently. We had a few strokes of luck after my fuckup.

tl/dr: don't let go of your fucking oars until they are shipped.
boy in long pants

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Redchaser
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Re: Of Squawfish and Rabies: A Glorious Failure

Post by Redchaser » Tue Aug 09, 2016 3:34 pm

Bruiser wrote:
fatman wrote:I'll bet that's a Scott Rod that Hogleg is pointing with
It's a Sage and it was just strung up in the boat the whole trip so we handed it around. Miraculously still intact.



:cool
Good thing there were no A/C vents around or Hogleg would have broke it for sure...
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fatman
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Re: Of Squawfish and Rabies: A Glorious Failure

Post by fatman » Tue Aug 09, 2016 4:22 pm

CarelessEthiopian wrote:
Bruiser wrote: And I got Batboy pretty dunked with another bad choice but he dried off by dinner.
This tale should be told so that others may learn from my mistake. It might save someone from an unintended swim.


There was a spot in the river where you could go left or right around a rock in the middle of the river. Bruiser was in front and chose the bigger left slot. As he got in the slot he hand signaled me to go right (we had hand signals worked out. i got to use the "bighorn sheep" one 3 times). As I approached the right slot, I could see why he told me to go the other way. There was a sharp rock in the middle of the left slot that was hidden by an upstream wave. So I went right and got stuck on a small sleeper. I tried to power off of it but we were stuck good and it was too deep to get out. I don't remember why, but at some point I let go of an oar handle. We were perpendicular to the flow, and the upstream oar blade got swept toward the stern. The handle went forward toward the front bay where Batboy was. Batboy was in the pinch point and the oar swept him right off the boat. It happened sort of slow, but he didn't have enough time to react and I couldn't stop the oar. We both looked at each other when we knew he was going in the water. He went in and was able to grab the chicken line on the bow. I dove into the front and grabbed him by one PFD shoulder strap. His body was under the raft, being pulled downstream, and we couldn't get him up into the boat. We were calm, and I asked him, "can I take you around the bow to the other side of the boat?" He said yes. I had him by both shoulder straps by then, so as he held the chicken line I steered him around the bow. The whole time I was repeating "I've got you man. I've got you."

When we got to the downstream side and he said, "Hey hold up. You're not freaking out right now, are you?" I said, "Not at all. I'm totally fine. I have you." Then he said, "Good, because I'm standing on the rock." We kind of paused for a few seconds as we both had the same idea. I said, "can you push us off the rock?" He said, "I can try."

Batboy pushed off, and we glided away. We pulled him in the boat. Didn't even lose his hat. We looked downstream and although they were 100 yards away, I could see the worried look in the other crew's eyes.

It was a close call and could have ended very differently. We had a few strokes of luck after my fuckup.

tl/dr: don't let go of your fucking oars until they are shipped.
good story. I thought you were gonna type something ghey about looking into each other's eyes right before he went under, but you didn't.... :wink
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austrotard
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Re: Of Squawfish and Rabies: A Glorious Failure

Post by austrotard » Wed Aug 10, 2016 12:13 am

yes he did.

you just need to read between the chicken lines.
we'll always have buffalo, sweet josh.

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Hogleg
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Re: Of Squawfish and Rabies: A Glorious Failure

Post by Hogleg » Wed Aug 10, 2016 12:25 am

[report]

I took a bazillion pictures on this trip. Most of them are evidence that I was totally immersed in the enjoyment of the trip rather than the photo documenting of it so most of them suck- disclaimer right up front. I think I might have enough decent ones to string along a somewhat passable contribution in two or three parts though I reckon.

Part I.

The day before the trip commenced I picked up a Drakian/Floridian whom I'd never met before from my local airport and invited him to stay at my house that night. He's supposedly some kind of big time salt life guy and, just as I've come to expect from such encounters with members of this chat room, he was a fucking huge douchebag. Complete dick. Intolerable. Nonetheless we went shopping and out to dinner and so forth and had a huge gear explosion in my garage, one of many to come over the next few days.
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We ended up getting along OK I guess. He told me I could fuck his sister after it was all said and done so that's something I suppose.

Before long I get a text message that some other douche is rolling in early from New Mexico that night and wanting to crash on my couch. Whatever. He brought a shitload of more gear too but also had a pretty sweet rubber bote and a Z-drag kit with him so we let it play out.

Now, in my experience with these here bake type deals the guests usually show up with packages, you know, gifts. GED showed up with a credit card that didn't work and Bruiser showed up with the finest piece of artwork I've ever laid eyes on, and yes fellas, it is 3D. Eat your hearts out.
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The three of us got all shit schnokered as you do and passed out. Woke up the next morning, had some breakfast and awaited the arrival of two other cocksuckers from just over the hill a couple of hours away. These fuckers show up in a fucking Lesbaru wagon hauling a bote and even more fucking gear, including what GED apparently thought was about 2000 rounds of 30 mm NATO ammunition (hereafter referred to as the Grover).

So these two dickheads start talking about putting their bote on top of Bruiser's bote on his trailer along with all their shit, including all of our shit inside of and towed behind my truck plus the 5 of us in the cab for the 3 hour drive through the desert to our put in. Fuck it, they had the Grover, the fire pit, fire blanket and some other shit I forgot. Oh yeah, the precious dish water strainer and some carne asada. So we let it play out. My rig was sitting down pretty hard on departure so we loaded up some cold ones in the cab for ballast.
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We (I) drove to the put in campsite and, upon arrival, while I spoke with "The Man" the rest of those douchebags set up camp and got all comfy in their foldy chairs. These fuckers have a serious sticker problem.
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Pretty soon a couple of dirty hippies rolled in from the West, right on time surprisingly, and we all settled in for a big adventure. The hippies turned out a righteous meal with the best Salmon I've ever tasted and some really good other hippy side dishes which I asked for the recipe to make and learned that Dibs actually grew most of it in his hippy garden.
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Pretty soon the tales and lies started coming really easy and we found ourselves in a decent groove.
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Next morning it's rise and shine for "rig to flip" and inspection by the NPS Ranger. Dibs was cranking James Brown. The big day we'd all been waiting for. I'll admit I was a bit nervous about all of this. It was amazing to see how some team work, ambition, determination and just good, solid know-how came together to turn enormous piles of unorganized and useless(?) shit into something that would float and pass inspection.

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Good Omen as we embarked on our journey- a golden eagle putting on a show for us in the canyon.
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Dib's craft evolved throughout the trip. Almost like some sort of magical Ice Cream Truck floating along with you that produced new, unexpected treats and goodies each and every day. Here we see a bottle of margarita mix carefully stowed for Class III or IV whitewater.
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When you bring a salty metrosexual along on a troot floot you never know what you might get but we damned sure got a solid, funny mother fucker who can throw a tight loop while standing on the dry box through some heavy white water.
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And you're real happy when the first brown he lands is decent after coming all that way.
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Before you know it we landed at an appropriately named camp site that evening. We will, however, be petitioning to have it named Pot(S) Creek. More appropriately. Here we really got into our groove and the days started moving easy.
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Real easy.
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In fact, I think it might have been here that everyone except Bruiser agreed to let the Squaw fish thing go and just float and be happy.
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I'm glad we brought a river map along because it turned out to be useful for our lurker buddy to spin doobies on. He rolled joints like the Pope prays every day.
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Real easy. Real good.
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The NPS has some naziesque rules on this float that we mostly abided by, adhered to, skirted around and/or somewhat complied with for the most part. One of which revolves around fire. Fuck it, we had a fire every night. All legal like too. On this particular night we said "fuck it dude, let's throw some horse shoes and cook some flank steak.
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Ben has no memory of this but he turned out some damn fine flank steak dinner with a little help from his friends.
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Afterwards we sat around a fire and did those things you do while sitting around the camp fire. Each one of us sleeked off to our tents in our own time at our own pace knowing tomorrow would be an easy day of sleeping in followed by a casual breakfast after which we'd pack up slowly, catch a big buzz and float easy to our next camp at our own easy pace. Easy day, easy trip.
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More to come.[/report]
Last edited by Hogleg on Wed Aug 10, 2016 12:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Lando
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Re: Of Squawfish and Rabies: A Glorious Failure

Post by Lando » Wed Aug 10, 2016 12:30 am

You need some airbags.
If my tombstone reads, "He never ate sushi." it won't be a lie, and I'll be OK with that.

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HPFF
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Re: Of Squawfish and Rabies: A Glorious Failure

Post by HPFF » Wed Aug 10, 2016 6:21 am

Fuck me...I wanna do something like this! That's as good as it gets right there :cool
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fatman
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Re: Of Squawfish and Rabies: A Glorious Failure

Post by fatman » Wed Aug 10, 2016 7:17 am

real good. so far.... :coffee
My drinkin' days are over; I'm still trouble bound - Slaid Cleaves

"This place is so fucked up. Where else could you find a thread with a Debbie Gibson song, a chapter from Fyodor Dostoevsky, and a sweet under boob pic like that on the same page?" - Hogleg

"You may not be smart, but your car gets good gas mileage". - Stovetop

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Re: Of Squawfish and Rabies: A Glorious Failure

Post by Lurgee » Wed Aug 10, 2016 7:26 am

[report]Pot(s) Creek! to the top.[/report]
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"Sweet Jesus... untold hundreds of linear miles of pristine trout water within pissing distance, and you cocksuckers went fishing for carp?
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CarelessEthiopian
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Re: Of Squawfish and Rabies: A Glorious Failure

Post by CarelessEthiopian » Wed Aug 10, 2016 7:31 am

Hogleg wrote:
Ben has no memory of this but he turned out some damn fine flank steak dinner with a little help from his friends.
Nice use of foreshadowing with the margarita bottle.
boy in long pants

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Greenback
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Re: Of Squawfish and Rabies: A Glorious Failure

Post by Greenback » Thu Aug 11, 2016 1:26 am

This trip sucks.

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fishskibum
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Re: Of Squawfish and Rabies: A Glorious Failure

Post by fishskibum » Fri Aug 12, 2016 9:59 am

my favorites line from hogleg
dibs did ya envision before hand how all that stuff was gonna fits in the raft
well yeahs
sumthins like this
Image
only a few less useless comfort items
and the rubbers a bits more forgiven
somewheres tween pushin like a nympho row hoes with a raftload of viagras n blow late to an ak guide sausage party camp
and the strong drifty keep pullin back speed kills
is the indecision land of oh fuck me highsides rodeos i could really done without
i was wonderin why bat brah was swimmins off the raft when there was a perfectly good sup to do thats off
stoked that got used and both gets er dones and sst rocked that learnin curve fast n hard
Image
Image
Image
much like when ya take a bits all the pots and their traits n mix em ups in the big spliffs
the og true blue piefaced skywalking group dynamics just kinda gelled into the perfect groove on this ones
fuck yeah groover
"To get high is to forget yourself. And to forget yourself is to see everything else.And to see everything else is to become an understanding molecule in evolution, a conscious tool of the universe" -Jerry Garcia

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