Ischua,Take heart, lad. That embarrasment, guilt, and soul-searching that you're probably feeling right now will pass. It probably doesn't help that your family members are noting how secretive you've become about your internet habits, and assume your addicted to online porn. In a sense, they may be right. In most cases, the above-described initial phase usually gives way to to a period marked by itching, chafing and prickly heat. Some say Gold Bond green label is particularly effective during this intermediate time. But if you make it through all that, you'll reach a state of gloriously guilt-free, completely unapologetic, wanton behavior, where you can blithely jump from discussing national security and endangered species to slobbering over pie and boobies, like a ninja leaping from one rooftop to another, without stopping to ponder if there is any contradiction to be had there. That, my friend, is when you know that there is no turning back, and you've let go of all desire to. You have become a full-fledged Drakian, and in the words of the immortal Bob, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke." Don't get discouraged - this time that some call Christmas, which contrary to its intentions, seems to bring angst to so many, is a time of pagan, hedonistic rejoicing for us. Just stay strong, and don't let a lack of anything important to say stop you from posting - the therapy is in the process.