Luau 2017

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Sakonnet
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Re: Luau 2017

Post by Sakonnet » Tue Aug 08, 2017 7:15 pm

Kareem Alcindor
Send me my fucking flies. Now. Overnight fucking Saturday Priority fucking delivery. Please? - Mr. Don

You know what they say about revenge? Dig three graves. - Porno Mike

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Average Joe
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Re: Luau 2017

Post by Average Joe » Mon Aug 14, 2017 10:23 pm

I've yet to hear anything from the Drake technology team regarding the photo-posting problem I've been experiencing, so I'm going to take Spudnik's advice and carry on without visual evidence. My photos are nothing to brag about anyway.

Heero may have been tipsy that night, but he certainly wasn't the only one, and by the end of the evening I was once again the last man standing.

After finishing my whisky by the warmth of the fire, I crawled into the Airstream and went to bed.

The sun was already up when I woke, as was most everybody else.

I cracked a beer and then made myself comfortable in the outhouse - my usual morning routine - and by the time I emerged CE and Hagen had returned from town with a bottomless supply of freshly fried chicken. It was still hot, and as I sampled a piece CE shared the difficulties of procuring empty cardboard buckets from an exceptionally testy Walmart team member. Apparently profit margins are thinner than ever at America's favorite retailer.

I've got a camping kitchen that includes pots, pans, and other cooking paraphernalia, none of which I particularly care about. What I don't have are large mixing bowls, so I'd borrowed one from my wife's kitchen before the trip, packed it in my suitcase, and used it the night before. I'd made it clear to anyone who would listen that my wife's mixing bowl was the only thing I needed to bring back with me, and the next morning it was the only thing I couldn't find.

At some point Porno Mike heard me asking if anyone had seen it.

He immediately went to the garbage can, thrust his arm elbow deep into the refuse, said "Nothing up my sleeve," and plucked it out.

I looked at him with disbelief and he said, "Sorry man. I thought this thing was disposable."

The bowl was washed and dried and I was about to repack it when Hagen grabbed it and stuffed it full of fried chicken.

Once the chicken was evenly divided, we split up the beer, loaded the trucks, and then waited for the boys in the Prairie Schooner to stir from their slumber.

Eventually we all made it to the river, and while Lando ran shuttle, Hagen got ambitious and decided to set up his rod on his own. This resulted in the death of a brand new leader.

Things briefly improved after the launch, during which time Hagen landed some nice fish, but soon afterwards things once again quickly went to shit. When Hagen wasn't missing fish, he was either casting behind the boat or weaving wind knots. Thankfully we had fried chicken and Safety Meetings to break up the monotony, along with Louie, who like most of the fish remained thoroughly unimpressed with most everything we did.

After a dozen more beers Hagen thought it would be a good idea to bet Lando that he could continue fishing for a certain amount of time without getting tangled up.

A few minutes later Lando had an extra $100 in his pocket.

By now we'd been floating for several hours, and I started getting snippy with Hagen because he kept fishing my water behind the boat.

I took that as a sign that it was time for me to stop drinking.

It wasn't a hard decision to make, because we were out of beer.

So was everyone else.

Life Coach Rule #1: Always make sure you have enough beer.

Once we reached the takeout, we loaded the boat and hit the road.

We stopped by a little bar on the way back to camp, and Lando asked me to stand on the highway and wave down the others travelling behind us.

A few minutes passed before I saw them approach: a convoy of trucks and trailers, with the Prairie Schooner in the lead.

I held out my hand and waved.

Not a single one of them stopped.

Apparently wearing a fez, multi-colored lei, and bright blue Hawaiian shirt is better than camo.

Once we were in the bar, Lando said, "Guys, I'd like you to meet Marty. Great guy. I've known him for years."

Hagen put out his hand and said, "I didn't get your name."

"The name's Barney."

"Marty?"

"No, Barney. Like Barney Fife."

Barney was indeed a really great guy, and he offered to buy me a drink, but the bartender wouldn't serve me.

When we got back to camp, we cleaned out the boats and bet to see which one contained the most empty cans.

Life Coach Rule #736: Having Hagen in your boat for such a contest nearly guarantees an easy victory.

Despite photographic evidence to the contrary, Heero had somehow managed to get a sufficient supply of wood chips into the smoker, and that night we enjoyed pulled pork burritos while sitting around the fire.

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austrotard
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Re: Luau 2017

Post by austrotard » Tue Aug 15, 2017 12:09 am

don't leave us hanging... what the fuck happened to the mixing bowl?

this is why this place sucks now.
49% of americans assume I give a shit about what they think.

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BigTimber
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Re: Luau 2017

Post by BigTimber » Tue Aug 15, 2017 6:32 am

austrotard wrote:
Tue Aug 15, 2017 12:09 am
don't leave us hanging... what the fuck happened to the mixing bowl?

this is why this place sucks now.
now?
This place has enough jiggly milkbags, marsupials fisting off, and animated cherubs getting stabbed in the fuck to get anyone shitcanned, if''n their boss can''t take a joke. ~SUAF

Pussy, much like freedom, ain't free.

America has become a dildo that has turned berserkly on its owner. ~McGuane 1971

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ironman
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Re: Luau 2017

Post by ironman » Tue Aug 15, 2017 9:12 am

Average Joe wrote:
Mon Aug 14, 2017 10:23 pm
When we got back to camp, we cleaned out the boats and bet to see which one contained the most empty cans.

Life Coach Rule #736: Having Hagen in your boat for such a contest nearly guarantees an easy victory.

Despite photographic evidence to the contrary, Heero had somehow managed to get a sufficient supply of wood chips into the smoker, and that night we enjoyed pulled pork burritos while sitting around the fire.
Two boats combined:
Image

Hagen's boat:
Image

Life Coach Rule #736: verified and confirmed. Victory. Hagen.
"if you don't understand the perfect logic of this, then you may as well fuck right off Teh Suk" - Fatman

"I took a Japanese whaling approach to panfishing as a kid." - Boomin

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Bruiser
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Re: Luau 2017

Post by Bruiser » Tue Aug 15, 2017 11:14 am

Pro Tip:

Always hand Hagen 2 beers at a time. That one got started by Hagen yelling "Hopper's getting tired of handing me beers!"

I like how the water bottles are still full in the photo above.
That sounds awesome in my ears!! (P-A)

we were basking in goodness here with our everyday drivel that we enjoy.... the rest of this is horseshit, flybug.pa.

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Average Joe
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Re: Luau 2017

Post by Average Joe » Tue Aug 15, 2017 2:52 pm

The next day we floated the river next to camp.

Hagen wanted to ensure that we wouldn't run out of beer, so we stopped at the store and he bought two cases for the boat.

Not long after we launched Lando turned to Hagen and said, "Jesus Christ Hagen! This boat is heavy as fuck! How many beers did you buy?"

"Two cases and couple bags of ice."

Hagen then opened the cooler at his feet and pulled out a long-necked bottle of Bud Light.

Lando was not pleased.

Hagen was interested in getting his $100 back, so he made a bet with Lando that we could catch a certain number of fish within a certain amount of time.

Hagen did catch some really nice fish, but by the end of the float Lando had another fun-ticket in his pocket.

The rest of the day is kind of fuzzy, but I do remember Hagen yelling "I am so fucking wasted!" in an attempt to impress the Wyoming Game and Fish official checking licenses at the takeout.

The next morning I stumbled from the Airstream, and once again my wife's bowl was missing.

"Porno! Did you throw away my wife's bowl?"

"No man, I haven't seen it."

"Hagen! Where's the bowl you put all the chicken in?"

"No idea."

"Well you had it last. You need to find it."

He glanced over the picnic tables and said, "Sorry man. Listen, I'll buy you a new one, but right now I really need to get something to eat."

CE was heading home, so Hagen grabbed his suitcase, jumped into his rig and asked him to drop him off in town.

After they'd left I went through all of the coolers and found the bowl.

The previous day Lando had done a second float with Ironman and Sakonnet after dropping Hagen and I off at the takeout. At the end of the second float he'd left his boat next to camp, so he and I and the Young Lass did a short float down to the takeout. I didn't have a license, so I just sat in the back and watched the Lass stick some really nice fish.

Once the boat was out of the water, we went to town and grabbed some breakfast.

Which is where we ran into Hagen.

Who an hour earlier had booked a room at a hotel just so he could shower and change his clothes.

Hagen had a much later flight than I did, so after breakfast Lando turned to him and said, "I'm going to bring Joe back to my place so he can shower and get changed, then I've got some errands to run, then I'm going to bring him to the airport, and then I'm going back to camp and clean things up. After that I'll take you to the airport. Do you want to hang out at my place until then?"

"Sure!" replied Hagen.

"Now just so you know, I don't have air conditioning, and I don't have cable TV."

"Uhhh.... I think I'll just stay in town instead."

After Lando dropped me off, the first thing I did was wash my wife's bowl in his kitchen sink and put it on the counter to dry. Then I took a shower and packed up all of my gear.

Everything except the fucking bowl.

Lando dropped me off in front of the airport, and we said our goodbyes. I then walked into the terminal, where I ran into.... Hagen.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm trying to get an earlier flight. I couldn't get in touch with Lando, so I told the guy at the hotel to call me a cab. He happened to be heading this way and agreed to drop me off."

We were flying on different airlines, so I caught up with him again after I checked my bag.

"All the early flights are booked. I'm going to call Lando and have him pick me up."

Free baseball. I'll let Lando explain that one.

Several minutes later I said a second goodbye to Lando, Hagen, and the Young Lass, then jumped on the plane and headed home.

I had a great time. Many thanks (again) to Lando for being such a gracious host.

Until next year.

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austrotard
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Re: Luau 2017

Post by austrotard » Tue Aug 15, 2017 7:09 pm

I fucking knew it.
didn't I say I knew it? didn't I?

yeah. I fucking knew it.
drakians are unintentional thieves.
49% of americans assume I give a shit about what they think.

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Average Joe
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Re: Luau 2017

Post by Average Joe » Tue Aug 15, 2017 7:26 pm

We can't get anything past you, Mitch.

(taps nose)

:cool

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west_jay
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Re: Luau 2017

Post by west_jay » Wed Aug 16, 2017 10:33 am

** Warning – Hijacking ahead **

So far in 2017, I've gotten rid of the Hooker Hauler (both), a mountain bike, and hopefully soon, a 2007 H-D FLSTC (if any Drakian interested.) And my god passed.
redds.jpg
redds.jpg (181.05 KiB) Viewed 468 times
rustneversleeps.jpg
rustneversleeps.jpg (190.53 KiB) Viewed 468 times
07FLSTC.jpg
07FLSTC.jpg (174.36 KiB) Viewed 468 times

Any thoughts on that NRS boat? ...versus a raft?

[payment pending.]

I never met anyone named Joel that wasn't a complete knob. – CharlieJenkem

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Lando
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Re: Luau 2017

Post by Lando » Thu Aug 17, 2017 3:59 pm

It isn't a raft, that's for sure. You'll have to row it more like a driftboat, but it does tow a lot better than a raft. It isn't really self-bailing, so don't rely on that. The storage is great and it bounces off rocks quite well. For this region, it is the best tool for what I do.
If my tombstone reads, "He never ate sushi." it won't be a lie, and I'll be OK with that.

~Average Joe

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Nemo
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Re: Luau 2017

Post by Nemo » Mon Aug 28, 2017 3:51 am

"I've yet to hear anything from the Drake technology team regarding the photo-posting problem I've been experiencing"

There's a reason I'm not allowed on the "Drake technology team." If you have any problems posting photos, please reach out to Grant Summerlin: grant@7weight.com
"Any mods on this forum or what? It's just a free for all of people being assholes to one another?"

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