I hope everybody's getting laid tonight

This forum is for general topics. Keep all posts, images, etc safe for those who read the forum at work. Post only that content that you'd want your mama to read. Violators will be banned.
User avatar
421sd
Posts: 537
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 9:26 pm
Location: Ozarks

I hope everybody's getting laid tonight

Post by 421sd » Tue Feb 14, 2017 8:48 pm

What else is this day good for? :Roll Eyes :cool

User avatar
Hogleg
Posts: 4060
Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 4:56 pm
Location: Over yonder

Re: I hope everybody's getting laid tonight

Post by Hogleg » Tue Feb 14, 2017 9:01 pm

A: Wasting money and not getting laid.

Q: How long have you been married?
"girls with eating disorders will usually let you come in there in butt." -Jhnnythndr
"...my grandmother’s Tang always tasted like rusty water and dirty socks." - Average Joe
"with some limited exceptions steelhead live where the lady selection is sparce." - MTG

User avatar
421sd
Posts: 537
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2012 9:26 pm
Location: Ozarks

Re: I hope everybody's getting laid tonight

Post by 421sd » Tue Feb 14, 2017 9:06 pm

Long enough to know there's a better than even chance I won't be among those getting lucky.

User avatar
Bobwhite
Posts: 5108
Joined: Thu May 08, 2008 4:48 pm
Location: Marine on St. Croix, MN
Contact:

Re: I hope everybody's getting laid tonight

Post by Bobwhite » Tue Feb 14, 2017 9:17 pm

Workin' on it fellas.

Back to work...
"Why in the fuck did I miss this place? It's like missing a raging case of the clap."

"Make it matter, fuckos." jhnnythndr

" Herre jävlar vilka fiskar!!" P-A

"I'm no saint though, nor a judge. Rock that shit good and hard, and on your way out, wipe your dick on the curtains." - Kyner

User avatar
Woolybug25
Posts: 7695
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2008 4:52 pm
Location: The Mitt

Re: I hope everybody's getting laid tonight

Post by Woolybug25 » Tue Feb 14, 2017 9:23 pm

Bobwhite wrote:Workin' on it fellas.

Back to work...
Bob, why do I feel like you left a slightly inappropriate Valentine's Day gift for Lisa to find and are walking around the house like...

Image

:cool
"All mountain hippies are as young as they day they were born, smarter than Einstein, better looking than Tom Selleck and could outfish an army of pinners." - foureyedgeek

www.hiptothesip.blogspot.com

User avatar
TX.
Posts: 6281
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2006 1:01 am
Location: Clackalacky or some shit
Contact:

Re: I hope everybody's getting laid tonight

Post by TX. » Tue Feb 14, 2017 9:25 pm

If the 5 YO would get out of my fucking bed, but it's doubtful.
(that's why I'm here, now)
Image
Which one of you fuckers has a flats skiff in the NC mountains?-southernstrain
Was there also a raft,drift boat,jon boat,and a gheeno in the yard?-Kyle

User avatar
austrotard
Posts: 9998
Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2012 2:24 am
Location: the austrocity exhibition
Contact:

Re: I hope everybody's getting laid tonight

Post by austrotard » Tue Feb 14, 2017 9:32 pm

I passed on my chance to drink another beer and smoke a spliff.

because:

1) it took longer
z) it felt better
1) and I didn't have to promise to renovate anything.
we'll always have buffalo, sweet josh.

-mtice

User avatar
Average Joe
Posts: 2738
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:04 pm
Location: Where they rip out the trees and name streets after them.

Re: I hope everybody's getting laid tonight

Post by Average Joe » Tue Feb 14, 2017 10:02 pm

I spent early VD morning getting my teeth scraped by a dentist, and late VD morning getting lectured by a doctor who thinks I need to eat better, exercise more, lose some weight, and cut back on my drinking.

I then drove to a pub and had a pitcher of beer and two bacon and grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch.

After lunch I came home and cleaned up the dog shit in the back yard.

The remainder of my VD afternoon was spent slathering Henry Wet Patch on the flashing and roofing tiles around my chimney for the third fucking time in as many weeks.

If the devil appeared before me right now and said, "I can fix the leak in your roof and teach your dog to clean up his own shit, but in exchange you'll never get laid again," I'd jump on it in a fucking heartbeat.

User avatar
ironman
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:19 pm
Location: red sox, yankees

Re: I hope everybody's getting laid tonight

Post by ironman » Tue Feb 14, 2017 11:02 pm

I fucked up royally.

Mrs. Handed me a card with chocolates at the same time she gave children theirs this morning.

I had nothing.

She went to school to help on whatever was more important than cleaning my dwelling and doing laundry.

So she left. And I left

Got the car washed. Had sushi. And received a call from my dear sweet MIL, who said she wanted warm socks and was bummed no one got these for her at Christmas. Apparently there were no socks to be purchased at VS with the sizable gift certificate.

Good call to get.

Merino wool socks purchased. Wine purchased. Card drawn.

I still fucked it up. But pretty sure my ugly ass gets laid.
"if you don't understand the perfect logic of this, then you may as well fuck right off Teh Suk" - Fatman

"I took a Japanese whaling approach to panfishing as a kid." - Boomin

User avatar
Redchaser
Posts: 6041
Joined: Fri Jun 16, 2006 1:01 am
Location: Lafayette, La
Contact:

Re: I hope everybody's getting laid tonight

Post by Redchaser » Wed Feb 15, 2017 6:57 am

Average Joe wrote:
If the devil appeared before me right now and said, "I can fix the leak in your roof and teach your dog to clean up his own shit, but in exchange you'll never get laid again," I'd jump on it in a fucking heartbeat.
Apparently at some point in the ever more distant past I made that same deal minus the benefit of the self patching roof and self cleaning dog shit.
"... don’t let your life become the sloppy leftovers of your work" Jim Harrison

"Put in the effort and good things happen"... Hogleg

"Salinity is proportional to sanity for sure" ..The Volfish

Redchaser.com, all about Louisiana Fly Fishing

User avatar
fly-chucker
Posts: 959
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2010 5:48 pm
Location: Frozen North

Re: I hope everybody's getting laid tonight

Post by fly-chucker » Wed Feb 15, 2017 7:24 am

Redchaser wrote:
Average Joe wrote:
If the devil appeared before me right now and said, "I can fix the leak in your roof and teach your dog to clean up his own shit, but in exchange you'll never get laid again," I'd jump on it in a fucking heartbeat.
Apparently at some point in the ever more distant past I made that same deal minus the benefit of the self patching roof and self cleaning dog shit.
^this :cool
"The difference between genius and stupidity is genius has its limits." -CC

"Get off the water you dumb asses…there is a shit storm coming." -Pancho Rancho

"Fucker compared my small stream trout weenie cast to an epileptic with Tourette’s Syndrome." -Carpe Tructa

User avatar
The Wandering Blues
Posts: 1442
Joined: Wed Jul 31, 2013 11:20 am
Location: Living in a Tin Can

Re: I hope everybody's getting laid tonight

Post by The Wandering Blues » Wed Feb 15, 2017 9:10 am

We managed to get through a small tornado while in the trailer, take the dog for stitches removal only to find the stitches had rubbed his skin raw and now he's on more meds, then suffered through a black tank leak when I went to flush fecal matter.

Boner Inversion Day.
"We're a cross between our parents and hippies in a tent...."
180 Degrees South

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bigguy, BryanM, CC Riebeeck, D-nymph, flysmallie, FredA, Google [Bot], Hoover, Kfoxwyo, LA Fly Guy, Lando, Mad_Mike, markl, McH, MSN [Bot], peetso, pxatim, RaZ, Shane, Walter and 482 guests