Thredbo: A TR

This forum is for general topics. Keep all posts, images, etc safe for those who read the forum at work. Post only that content that you'd want your mama to read. Violators will be banned.
User avatar
Average Joe
Posts: 2693
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:04 pm
Location: Where they rip out the trees and name streets after them.

Thredbo: A TR

Post by Average Joe » Tue Jul 03, 2018 1:03 pm

Rather, what I imagine a Thredbo TR might be like.

Mitch is too lazy to put one up, so...

If every business in the United States was run like United Airlines, workplace shootings would be an everyday occurrence.

Three months ago I booked a 5:00 AM flight to Thredbo.

“Make sure you get to the airport no later than 3:00 AM,” they said.

I complied with their request, as did most of the other passengers on my flight.

Unfortunately there were no United employees on hand at that hour to take our luggage.

We cooled our heels for a good thirty minutes or so before they strolled into the terminal, after which my fellow steers and I dropped off our bags and then stampeded over to airport security.

Turns out employees of the TSA don’t start work until 4:00 AM.

In spite of all that, I managed to make it to Thredbo before noon.

Ephemeral’s wife picked me up at the airport and then took me to the grocery store.

I took out my list and headed to the produce section, where I was immediately stabbed in the fuck with the Saber of Regret.

I started with the avocados, every one of which was as soft as a cobblestone.

As I made a second pass over the rocks someone had jokingly labeled as being “Ready to Eat!” a pair of teenaged girls appeared at my left.

One said to the other, “We need to find three ripe ones.”

Without looking up I barked, “Don’t waste your time. I’ve examined every single one of these fucking stones they call avocados and there’s not a goddamn ripe one in the bunch.”

They said nothing, and then moved a couple of feet over to the bin that held the organic avocados.

“None of those fuckers are ripe either, and yet they’ll cost you twice as much as these.”

One of the girls then whispered to her comrade, “I think there’s a trick to ripen them quickly.”

“There is,” I grunted, “And under different circumstances I’d give you the details as to how it’s done, but I’m in a hurry. The Google can show you the way.”

Once I finished my grocery shopping, eph's wife took me to the liquor store, where I picked up three liters of Hobo Spice, thirty-six beers, and a box of red wine.

Enough to get me through the week.

Eph’s wife then drove me back to their home, pointed towards their kitchen and said, “Let me know if you need anything."

Before departing SFO for Thredbo I was under the impression that I would be responsible for four meals: dinner with ephemeral and his wife (1st night), dinner with ephemeral at the campground (2nd night), a group dinner with whoever else showed up afterwards (3rd, 4th, or 5th night), and something for lunch. As such, I made a Bolognese sauce, meat and beans, pizza, and some other stuff.

Once I finished cooking for our trip (and destroying ephemeral’s kitchen in the process), I made shrimp and bacon tacos for our evening meal.

They weren’t as good as the shrimp and bacon tacos eph and I had while in Baja, but no one got sick, so I count that as a win.

The next morning ephemeral and his wife loaded his Jeep…
1.JPG
1.JPG (226.12 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
... and soon afterwards we were on the road.
2.JPG
2.JPG (127.51 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
Seemed the locals were worried that pxatim might be in town.
3.JPG
3.JPG (73.24 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
4.JPG
4.JPG (252.99 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
We stopped at a grocery/dry goods/guns & ammo/pharmacy/hardware/farming supplies/fishing & hunting/if-we-don’t have-it-you-don’t-need-it type store, where I bought my fishing license. Then we refueled the Jeep and grabbed a late lunch at one of ephemeral’s favorite restaurants.

The young waitress was enamored with eph (he can be quite charming), and next thing I knew she was at his side, spreading a map over the table and pointing out her favorite places to fish.

She was very well endowed, and as she bent over the table the low-cut shirt she was wearing revealed just enough (i.e., nearly everything) to make for an unexpectedly pleasant and memorable meal.

After lunch we grabbed some ice and then hit the road and made our way to the campground.

Upon our arrival, eph unloaded the truck while I drank some beer.
5.JPG
5.JPG (241.4 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
Eph then noticed that Mitch’s Uncle had beat us to the campground. His tent was already set up, but his vehicle was nowhere in sight.

Obviously he was out fishing.

We were sitting around the fire ring when a vehicle pulled up beside eph's Jeep.

“Who the fuck is that?“

Turned out to be the Ethiopian.

He and Mitch’s Uncle had both arrived early, and they’d both enjoyed a stellar day of fishing.

Not long afterwards Mitch’s Uncle drove into camp like someone approaching the finish line of the Baja 1000.

The camp hosts were not pleased, and they both stormed over and gave him a good scolding.
6.JPG
6.JPG (251.64 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
Bruiser rolled in well after the dust settled.
7.JPG
7.JPG (285.41 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
We’d all melted into our foldy-chairs with our beverages of choice, and while we were catching up, taking in the scenery, and washing the taste of travel out of our mouths, Mitch’s Uncle broke the spell and asked, “So what’s for dinner?”

“One Star Caesar salad, spaghetti in Bolognese sauce, Italian sausages, and fried chicken,” I replied.

“I eat my salad at 5:00 PM. I usually eat the rest of my dinner at 7:00 PM. Definitely no later than 7:30 PM.”

I smiled and thought, What do I look like, a goddamn waiter? If that was really the case you’d have brought your own fucking salad and you’d be eating it right now.

I soon realized he wasn't joking, because he kept droning on and on about how he had to eat his motherfucking salad at 5:00 PM.

Eventually I could take no more, so I drained my beer, walked over to the cooler, grabbed the kit bag of One Star Caesar salad I’d purchased the day before, and threw it at him.

“Here ya go, Your Lordship. Just don’t expect me to fucking mix it for you.”

Then I made myself a drink.

I told him where he could find the mixing tongs, but leaving his throne would have required too much effort, so he mixed it with his hands instead.
8.JPG
8.JPG (262.97 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
9.JPG
9.JPG (198.84 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
10.JPG
10.JPG (253.14 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
After pawing at it for a good ten minutes he said, “There’s no way I can eat all of this.”

That proved to be untrue, because half an hour later he pushed the last piece of romaine into his mouth, and One Star Caesar salad was off the evening menu.

We managed to get by without it.

(Photo credit ephemeral.)
11.jpg
11.jpg (172.7 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
Mitch’s Uncle and the Ethiopian struggled to get a fire started, so I contributed two fingers of Hobo Spice to the effort.

Had I poured any more into the pit it might have been Ohio all over again.

Hobo Spice is like WD-40: a thousand and one uses.

I need to tell Hagen that it’s not just for mouthwash anymore.

Bruiser, Mitch’s Uncle, and the Ethiopian all went to bed early.

Eph and I stayed up late: smoking cigars, drinking, burning wood, solving the world’s problems...

As one does.

Bruiser was kind enough to lend me a Paco Pad. I threw a tarp on the ground, tossed the pad on top of it, laid out my sleeping bag on top of that, and slept like the dead.

The next morning Bruiser made a kickass “Spork Life” breakfast.
12.JPG
12.JPG (225.05 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
13.JPG
13.JPG (143.95 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
Afterwards Mitch’s Uncle and the Ethiopian went in search of new water to pillage, while eph, Bruiser, and I hit the water that they’d raped the day before.

Eph caught fish....
14.JPG
14.JPG (305.49 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
… and Bruiser caught fish.
15.JPG
15.JPG (285.79 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
16.JPG
16.JPG (336.52 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
17.JPG
17.JPG (250.23 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
Because I had no desire to spend another evening listening to His Lordship whine about how eating in the dark was unacceptable (for him), we headed back early so that I could get a jump on the evening meal.

I whipped up some pico & guac, meat and beans, tri tip sandwiches, and a one-and-one-half-star Caesar salad, the half star consisting of a fresh dressing made with imported anchovies, freshly grated parm, egg yolks, minced garlic, dijon mustard, fresh lemon juice, and olive oil.

The Ethiopian had a door that needed painting, so he was unable to stay for dinner.

After mixing up the guacamole, I divided it evenly into three bowls.

Mitch’s Uncle took one for himself and ate most of it, then turned to me and said, “Why did you make two salads?”

“What do you mean?”

“You made guacamole and Caesar salad. That’s two salads.”

“Guacamole is not a salad.”

“Well I can’t eat that Caesar salad now that I’ve had all of this guacamole.”

“Of course you can’t. My apologies, Your Lordship.”

“Why do you cook so much food? Do you like to cook?”

“I do, but what I really thrive on is people telling me when, what, and how much to cook, which is why I’m so very glad that you’re here.”

Bruiser and Mitch’s Uncle retired early, and once again Eph and I tended the fire with Hobo Spice and fine tobacco until the wee hours.

The next morning Bruiser prepared another kickass breakfast.

(Photo credit ephemeral.)
18.jpg
18.jpg (182.68 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
(Photo credit ephemeral.)
19.jpg
19.jpg (184.13 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
Afterwards Mitch’s Uncle said, “Hey guys. I brought you a bunch of beers. Come and take them.”

I took one.

It was some type of IPA; a brand I’d never seen before.

I turned to Mitch’s Uncle and asked, “Is this what you usually drink?”

“No, I don't like any of these beers. That’s why I brought them for you.”

"Thanks."

He then followed that up with, “I’d much rather drink one of your Budweisers. Mind if I have one?”

Austrians. I’ll never understand them.

Bruiser and Mitch’s Uncle were now anxious to hit the water.

Before they left I gave Mitch’s Uncle a two-way radio so that I could track him we could stay in touch.

“This knob turns it on and controls the volume. I've already set it to the proper channel, so it’s the only thing you need to touch. The batteries are fresh, so don’t worry about draining them.”

Mitch’s Uncle put the radio in his pocket and said, “I’ll turn it on as soon as we get to the river.”

After they left, eph turned to me and said, “Let’s give them some time.”

I opened the beer Mitch’s Uncle had given me, took a sip, and spit it out. It tasted like someone had mixed a bottle of Sierra Nevada with half a cup of lemon juice.

I spent the next sixty minutes throwing back Budweisers, and once my palate was clear eph and I climbed into his Jeep and made our way towards the river.

It was a beautiful drive, and the scenery was spectacular.

Unfortunately, Thredbo is a super secret place, and I promised Bruiser that I wouldn’t show any photos that might give it away.

Eventually we pulled over onto a bluff that gave us an incredible view of the river.

Had we been younger we’d have grabbed our rods and raced down to the water, intent on catching every fish it held.

Instead, eph did this...
20.JPG
20.JPG (303.26 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
… while I set up my foldy-chair, fired up a cigar, opened a beer, and took it all in.

(Photo credit ephemeral. Cropped to remove any readily identifiable landmarks.)
21.jpg
21.jpg (76.87 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
It was glorious.

Eventually eph pulled out his rod, rigged it, and hit the first pool.
22.JPG
22.JPG (274.64 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
He had no luck there, but farther upstream…
23.JPG
23.JPG (297.6 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
24.JPG
24.JPG (308.57 KiB) Viewed 1860 times
More later.

User avatar
fishskibum
Posts: 717
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:01 am

Re: Thredbo: A TR

Post by fishskibum » Tue Jul 03, 2018 1:12 pm

the puppy stuffs and and i are bummed to not have partaken
and await the mores
"To get high is to forget yourself. And to forget yourself is to see everything else.And to see everything else is to become an understanding molecule in evolution, a conscious tool of the universe" -Jerry Garcia

User avatar
Glista
Posts: 3356
Joined: Fri Apr 14, 2006 1:01 am
Location: The Heart of Darkness
Contact:

Re: Thredbo: A TR

Post by Glista » Tue Jul 03, 2018 1:24 pm

Nice! This Mitch's uncle dude sounds like a tool. did you guys end up killing him?

User avatar
LA Fly Guy
Posts: 484
Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:40 am
Location: SELA

Re: Thredbo: A TR

Post by LA Fly Guy » Tue Jul 03, 2018 2:44 pm

Well I guess that's alright for a start. I can't wait to hear what happens with Mitch's uncle.
... there are two kind of anglers, sight fishermen and the rest of you. If you don't see it first, it doesn't count. - Long Haired Dave

Bait fishermen and flatlanders that can't catch redfish spend more time fishing for specks - Redchaser

User avatar
Bruiser
Posts: 3503
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:01 am
Location: Land of Manana

Re: Thredbo: A TR

Post by Bruiser » Tue Jul 03, 2018 3:18 pm

I would post some photos if I could.

I am much more likely to get killed by the group.

We had a damn good time. Didn't need to waste a bunch of time trying to catch fish this year.

:cool
That sounds awesome in my ears!! (P-A)

we were basking in goodness here with our everyday drivel that we enjoy.... the rest of this is horseshit, flybug.pa.

Honyuk96
Posts: 226
Joined: Thu Jul 20, 2017 9:28 am

Re: Thredbo: A TR

Post by Honyuk96 » Tue Jul 03, 2018 4:42 pm

Does Mitch's uncle know Magoo ?

User avatar
root wad
Posts: 2363
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 12:16 pm

Re: Thredbo: A TR

Post by root wad » Tue Jul 03, 2018 5:20 pm

Amazing how familial traits are passed on between generations. At the end of the trip did Mitch's uncle skip town with the gas money? Asking for a friend.
Life is a whole lot more simple when you plow around the stump.
"When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns."

User avatar
Transylwader
Posts: 2131
Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:10 pm
Location: Your mum's bed

Re: Thredbo: A TR

Post by Transylwader » Tue Jul 03, 2018 6:59 pm

Fuckin A, you crack me up. Some funny shit raat thaar!
More, please señor. :bow
If assholes could fly, Raleigh would be a fucking airport - my Mum

User avatar
austrotard
Posts: 9998
Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2012 2:24 am
Location: the austrocity exhibition
Contact:

Re: Thredbo: A TR

Post by austrotard » Tue Jul 03, 2018 8:24 pm

applicable one star version.

we'll always have buffalo, sweet josh.

-mtice

User avatar
Upsetter
Posts: 2245
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:53 pm

Re: Thredbo: A TR

Post by Upsetter » Tue Jul 03, 2018 9:01 pm

That was a hoot. Well done AJ. I can appreciate the gag order. Has to be done these days. :cool

User avatar
ironman
Posts: 1015
Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:19 pm
Location: red sox, yankees

Re: Thredbo: A TR

Post by ironman » Tue Jul 03, 2018 10:55 pm

no full blown black gloves?
"if you don't understand the perfect logic of this, then you may as well fuck right off Teh Suk" - Fatman

"I took a Japanese whaling approach to panfishing as a kid." - Boomin

User avatar
Mad_Mike
Posts: 2077
Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2007 1:01 am
Location: Charleston, South Carolina

Re: Thredbo: A TR

Post by Mad_Mike » Wed Jul 04, 2018 12:46 am

Nice.. i'll be looking forward to further installations.. :cool
Mad Mike
Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Hemingway

Leonardo DiCaprio wins at life! - Row vs. Wade

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: croaker, flashback, Majestic-12 [Bot], pxatim and 61 guests