wisco disco 2018 - i like turtles

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chadroc
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wisco disco 2018 - i like turtles

Post by chadroc » Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:38 am

lets put a song on this motherfucker.




its dead early. that halflight spilling into the tent that gankadank brought for me. the cot he also brought me is so comfortable, and the sleeping bag he brought me is as well. i am the second man to sleep on this cot, and justin told me to beware i'd potentially have fatman's dreams. i did not. i have had exclusively my own dreams the past two nights.

these are the first moments of the last day i will be in wisconsin. i don't know how long this moment curves on for, but i try to hold to it though to do anything conscious in such a situation just don't make it happen. but still, you try.

you may not control your sleeping dreams and as they unfurl out into the waking light you can get just one more glimpse of where the mind wandered to through the paltry two rem cycles you sucked down. just a glimpse of the thing as it moves on into the nether air. as that dream swims back to where it will sull up sore jawed and wiser, and brood, and eventually lurk again and wait to feed......for someone else perhaps.

there in between sleep and wake is a cross section of dream thought and conscious thought. some venn diagram where these two vastly different thought systems intersect. the sliver of cross section being pulled thinner and thinner as the circles labeled "sleeping mind" and "awake mind" are pulled apart.

like some magicians trick. see? the rings? they are joined, look! i can pull at them and they won't separate! (the clinking of rings, firmly interlocked). but they do: some slight of hand, some trick of time. two minds with one command, as they fade to their own realms. and the crowd of one hushes and studies, how it was done. so impossible, right? some magicpractictioner.

these moments tend to occur for me over a hugely powerful thing. and to be fair, haven't occurred over a good positive thing in years. they've covered the really bad shit of late. like you come wake in the morning.....the rings are separating......and you say to yourself, that horrible thing didn't happen right? it only existed on the sleep side, right? but no, it did happen. the shoulders slump.

over the past weekend the moment was one of huge power and positivity in my own little life. and i lay there on justin's cot at who knows how early it was and sucked the marrow out of the bones of yesterday. the world outside was quiet. i had to piss so damn bad but i stayed longer. i was holding on to the dream and as it dissipated i was left with the reality of things. i smiled. maybe my eyes welled up with pride. i crawled out of the tent, dressed in my filthy pigpen clothes, took 2 alleve's.

we had to break down camp. i couldn't really start doing chores since everyone was still sleeping. i figured, why not? just go. do it now. check out the sunrise in the exact spot where it happened. go be near to where that great great fish is swimming. where it lives, and feeds, and lurks. that place where you got what you didn't deserve. you knew it. you were so fucking grateful anyhow. sheepish. no no, not me...........

when on any trip like this one, the group celebrates a great fish as one. traditionally, i've never been the one to catch it but i've been bridesmaid many times over and acted as witness and friend to the bride. i ain't never been the bride. i didn't know how to act, but i was grateful.

i took justin's keys and left the campground. i stopped for a double order of karupa gold iced coffee. i drove to the pin that josh and fred had sent us on friday when we pulled into town. the sun was just rising up, i began to walk the path down to the river.

as i made my way down, i was overcome. i will admit this to folks here since it is my hope that they understand. i wept. i wept with joy for the fact that i had made a lifelong dream come true. i had done it. me. the traditional bridesmaid and a good one at that, celebrating others great success willingly and gladly with very very limited jealousy or ill feelings. truly happy for others when they are the bride on a trip. this trip, it was me. and i had done it on my own two feet wading in a really tough spot to wade.

i had whipped the big fish and i kept expecting some evil foul trick of life to expose itself......a third ring, and none of it had happened. neither dream nor reality and the third ring would hypothetically pull me back to new england where i would wake in my own bed and think i wish i had a dream of a great fish last night, or better yet had actually caught one. that third ring. it was my fear. at the least, let me keep the dream part.

but it did happen. it did. i have the photos to prove it. and the two rings were real. they had verily separated, there in wisonsin, on that waking morning the last of the trip.

i sit down and watch the flow. i sit down right in front of where it happened and i drink that coffee and i weep with gratitude. i look around. no one is there. of course they aren't, it is ungodly early. i take in a deep deep breath and scream the word "UNBELIEVABLE" at the top of my lungs. i weep more. i pump my fists and flex myself and grit my teeth. me, hard me.

when it is time to gather myself and go back to camp and breakdown i don't know i can do it. i'm so emotional. i find a good coping mechanism. i say the following things outloud:

"i fucking accept!"

"i like turtles."

i'm laughing like a hyena when i crest the hill and i'm just smiling when i pull back into camp to see my friends for just a few more moments before i have to go on home.

Image
Last edited by chadroc on Tue Aug 21, 2018 10:49 pm, edited 4 times in total.
holding it down on the other side of the border

enjoy your catch (it died)

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Bobwhite
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Re: i like turtles

Post by Bobwhite » Tue Aug 07, 2018 7:51 am

Well done, Chad!
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stillsteamin
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Re: i like turtles

Post by stillsteamin » Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:24 am

This is good, like. Too good for here
I still like to explore new water, but these holes and drifts and slots are like the books and records I have carried around for decades. They are not only places of affection - they are the fabric of my life. - Doug Rose

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foureyedgeek
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Re: i like turtles

Post by foureyedgeek » Tue Aug 07, 2018 9:08 am

This was excellent. Thank you.
some people like Rocky Mountain Oysters... the rest wonder why they are eating balls. - Woolybug

#SavetheDace20XX

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chadroc
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Re: i like turtles

Post by chadroc » Tue Aug 07, 2018 9:10 am

stillsteamin wrote:
Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:24 am
This is good, like. Too good for here
dead wrong. if it wasn't for this place, i wouldn't never have been out there, with those people. this place for some like me is about more than snark and hey hey look at me shit. if this place is dead, it is because the younger (or in my case, newer) members of this board don't bring our content and share it with those whose content they lurked for years before being a member of the site. for some of us, we're fishing for more than an instagram like or a bro-deal or whatever. we're fishing for friends and experiences we would not otherwise touch in our small lives. i'm grateful for teh suk. it means something to me.

but thank you for saying its good.
holding it down on the other side of the border

enjoy your catch (it died)

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B.M. Barrelcooker
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Re: i like turtles

Post by B.M. Barrelcooker » Tue Aug 07, 2018 11:11 am

well said
"worst that can happen is a big fat zero and a fine walk out of doors"---Chadroc

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stillsteamin
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Re: i like turtles

Post by stillsteamin » Tue Aug 07, 2018 11:46 am

chadroc wrote:
Tue Aug 07, 2018 9:10 am
stillsteamin wrote:
Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:24 am
This is good, like. Too good for here
dead wrong. if it wasn't for this place, i wouldn't never have been out there, with those people. this place for some like me is about more than snark and hey hey look at me shit. if this place is dead, it is because the younger (or in my case, newer) members of this board don't bring our content and share it with those whose content they lurked for years before being a member of the site. for some of us, we're fishing for more than an instagram like or a bro-deal or whatever. we're fishing for friends and experiences we would not otherwise touch in our small lives. i'm grateful for teh suk. it means something to me.

but thank you for saying its good.
Yep, same page. I guess I meant, too good for only here.
I still like to explore new water, but these holes and drifts and slots are like the books and records I have carried around for decades. They are not only places of affection - they are the fabric of my life. - Doug Rose

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Bigguy
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Re: i like turtles

Post by Bigguy » Tue Aug 07, 2018 3:21 pm

Good stuff Chadroc, very good stuff!

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pbrstreetgang
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Re: i like turtles

Post by pbrstreetgang » Tue Aug 07, 2018 3:51 pm

Remember that first fish you won at a carnival? Probably some fucking 10 cent feeder goldifsh that had ick, parasites, and fungus. Destined for it's final destiny, even before you could wash the cotton candy off your filthy fucking hands. You probably even forgot about the "SWANSONG" mirror you won at the milk bottles after winning that shitty goldfish



Well, that musky died

when you were hootin' an hollerin' FredA and I weighed it down with a rock and told you it swam away. We wanted you to live in that electric moment, and carry it with you for the rest of the disco - seeing that the musky wouldn't be enjoying shit.

There's no easy way to tell anyone this. I learned in on the Catt a couple years back. It's a fucking bloodsport, right? Shit happens. Like that musky just not being able to revive. So be it. Lesson learned.




























j/k
Everybody knows this is nowhere...

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fly-chucker
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Re: i like turtles

Post by fly-chucker » Tue Aug 07, 2018 5:29 pm

Sorry Chadroc, the made me promise not to tell you :smile
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fatman
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Re: i like turtles

Post by fatman » Tue Aug 07, 2018 5:45 pm

pbrstreetgang wrote:
Tue Aug 07, 2018 3:51 pm
j/k
damn, that's cold. Good shit. :smile
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LA Fly Guy
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Re: i like turtles

Post by LA Fly Guy » Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:06 pm

Really, PBR and Fly-chucker? Y'all could just let the man have his moment, living eternally in bliss with the memory of "the" fish. But no, you crush his soul and any positive memory of the entire process.

I guess in the part where the crowd is asked whether anyone objects to the matrimony of the bride and groom, in this case the bride's nightmare is realized when she thought she was getting married to the man of her dreams but the hot bitch in the third row raises her hand and tells everyone that she's been sleeping with the groom-to-be for the past six months...........

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