Once Again, I Caught Nothing

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Average Joe
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Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by Average Joe » Wed May 01, 2019 5:44 am

Every year my brother hosts a trip to a big lake in the desert east of us. It’s always pretty much the same group of guys, which makes it comfortable. Most of them are former hardcore drunks and drug addicts who eventually got clean through AA. And then there’s Cornholio and me. It may seem like an odd mix, but most of us get along surprisingly well.

The Thursday before the trip I loaded my truck, and early Friday morning I headed east.
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The snowpack looked better than it has in years.
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I stopped at Mel’s for some breakfast...
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… then continued east into the desert.
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Not long afterwards I arrived at the lake.
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I set up a foldy-chair, lit a cigar, and cracked a beer.
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Eventually the others arrived, and once they’d set up camp, they dragged their ladders into the water and started fishing.
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Cornholio and I drank beers on the bluff and watched them.
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I discovered that Cornholio doesn’t mind ants…
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… but he hates snakes...
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… and he gets really nervous if they decide to hide under his truck.
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Eventually we drove down to camp and joined the others.

I checked out the kitchen area.

We had plenty of gas grills...
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… along with a couple of woks.
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Cornholio and I set up our foldy-chairs, poured ourselves some booze, and watched the boys catch nothing.
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My brother handles the food on this trip by dividing everyone into groups and then assigning each group a meal. Friday night’s crew decided to cook up some corned beef and cabbage.
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They took it a step further by throwing the corned beef on the grill, which gave it a nice char.
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They complimented that with some of the best pork fried rice I’ve ever eaten.
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After the feast I dragged my chair to the fire...
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… and not long afterwards I dragged my ass to the front seat of my truck and went to sleep.

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mitch aka 2 fish
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Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by mitch aka 2 fish » Wed May 01, 2019 6:17 am

average jose is the gateway to edelweiss idleness.
9 out of 10 entomologists fucking well aren't.

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Average Joe
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Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by Average Joe » Wed May 01, 2019 6:29 am

Every time I try to post the rest of this TR I get kicked off the site.

Most likely because I'm not attempting to sell you fake passports.

Let's try again.
The next morning I woke up, cracked a beer, fired up a cigar, wandered aimlessly for a bit, destroyed the outhouse, and then noticed Cornholio’s truck parked at the far end of the beach. I drove over to see what he was doing, and found him sitting on this rock.
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“What the hell are you doing up there?”

“Staring at this fucking bobber and trying not to fall asleep.”

I climbed onto the rock and he handed me a beer. Then I looked down and said, “Holy shit!”

We watched as a nice ten pound fish slowly cruised by below us, no more that a couple of feet offshore.
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I went back to my truck and rigged up an eight weight with a sink-tip, a short leader, and a baitfish pattern. There was no need to blind cast, because we could see fish everywhere, but they just wouldn’t eat. I tried changing flies, but it made no difference. They weren’t even curious, and I didn’t even get a follow. In the meantime Cornholio watched pods of fish swim right past his midge with the same result.

“These fish are fucked up. If they were stripers we’d have caught at least twenty of them by now. I think they might be in spawning mode.”

“Could be.”

By now my elbow was telling me I’d done enough casting for one morning, so I headed back to camp and found the midday meal crew hard at work cooking up some sausages, eggs, potatoes, and corned beef hash.
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After breakfast the boys climbed back onto their ladders.
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A couple of them even caught fish.
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Cornholio and I were responsible for dinner that night, so at four we cooked up some appetizers.

I made some chicken Thai pizzas....
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...while Cornholio fried up the best egg rolls I’ve ever had.
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A couple of hours later we started on dinner.

Cornholio grilled up some Korean-style beef.
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He also made chicken adobo, fried rice, and grilled vegetables.
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I grilled up some Korean-style pork ribs...
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… along with a sweet poppy seed and peanut coleslaw.

I’d also decided to make shrimp pad Thai, which had me worried. I’d made it for two, but never for fifteen.

As the afternoon turned to evening, the weather started to turn, and the wind kicked up.
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A few minutes before we were ready to serve dinner, Cornholio fired up one of the woks, and I tossed stuff in for the pad Thai it while he kept mixing to keep it from burning.
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I’ve no idea how most of what we cooked tasted because all I ate were egg rolls and a bit of coleslaw. That’s how good Cornholio’s egg rolls are.
After the feast I dragged my chair to the fire...
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… and not long afterwards I dragged my ass to the front seat of my truck and went to sleep.

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mitch aka 2 fish
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Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by mitch aka 2 fish » Wed May 01, 2019 6:38 am

the main reason I stopped posting trs is folk interrupting with infantile comments.
totally fucked everyfuckingthing.

drove me 'round the bend, the twatting twats.
9 out of 10 entomologists fucking well aren't.

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stillsteamin
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Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by stillsteamin » Wed May 01, 2019 9:53 am

i bet those campground shitters took a beating. Cabbage beer and sausage makes proper bear scat
I still like to explore new water, but these holes and drifts and slots are like the books and records I have carried around for decades. They are not only places of affection - they are the fabric of my life. - Doug Rose

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Jon
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Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by Jon » Wed May 01, 2019 2:17 pm

“Staring at this fucking bobber and trying not to fall asleep.”

That belongs on a T-shirt. Or a sticker.
"unsalvageably incoherent"

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The Wandering Blues
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Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by The Wandering Blues » Wed May 01, 2019 2:32 pm

Damn, look at that weather. You needed shitty, snotty, windy conditions for those Jurassic pigs.

And, was it a rifle stock fire? That was the best fire I’ve ever warmed up to.
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Fubar
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Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by Fubar » Wed May 01, 2019 3:32 pm

Fishing? I’d show up just for the food.

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Redchaser
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Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by Redchaser » Wed May 01, 2019 4:45 pm

A Gringo and a Latino cooking Korean and Thai... you guys are ethnically confused.
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pxatim
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Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by pxatim » Wed May 01, 2019 5:08 pm

You had me at egg rolls.

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Average Joe
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Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by Average Joe » Wed May 01, 2019 7:54 pm

Redchaser wrote:
Wed May 01, 2019 4:45 pm
A Gringo and a Latino cooking Korean and Thai... you guys are ethnically confused.
Cornholio was born in the Philippines, but that doesn't make your statement any less factual.

After posting the second installment of this TR earlier this morning, the Drake security team determined that I was a spammer and then denied me access to the website.

Until now.

I suppose that’s the price one pays for putting up questionable content.

It still won't let me post photos.

Maybe tomorrow will be different.

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mitch aka 2 fish
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Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by mitch aka 2 fish » Wed May 01, 2019 8:22 pm

you'll find mr. chawn michelle and mr. clipf walleese are well revered in the phillipines.

and sometimes they confuse me with the black fella.
'no... that's cliff. I'm shawn...'

funny little minions, those bastards.
always fucking shit up and hitting each other with the hot mops.
9 out of 10 entomologists fucking well aren't.

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