Once Again, I Caught Nothing

This forum is for general topics. Keep all posts, images, etc safe for those who read the forum at work. Post only that content that you'd want your mama to read. Violators will be banned.
User avatar
Upsetter
Posts: 2251
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:53 pm

Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by Upsetter » Wed May 01, 2019 9:04 pm

mitch aka 2 fish wrote:
Wed May 01, 2019 8:22 pm
funny little minions, those bastards.
always fucking shit up and hitting each other with the hot mops.
I don’t quite know what you’re getting at with the hot mops and all but I lmao when I read it

User avatar
Average Joe
Posts: 2728
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:04 pm
Location: Where they rip out the trees and name streets after them.

Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by Average Joe » Wed May 01, 2019 9:15 pm

And now (hopefully) the final chapter of this saga.



The next morning I woke up, cracked a beer, fired up a cigar, wandered aimlessly for a bit, destroyed the outhouse, and then heard a bunch of yelling on the beach.
1.JPG
1.JPG (184.59 KiB) Viewed 283 times
2.JPG
2.JPG (210.75 KiB) Viewed 283 times
3.JPG
3.JPG (317.3 KiB) Viewed 283 times
The wind kept picking up as the morning progressed, and the water in front of our beach churned into a mixture of mud and moss. Eventually the boys dragged their ladders out of the surf and decided to look for greener pastures after the midday meal. That “meal” was laid out by The Fat Mooch and his crew, and it consisted of a box of Entenmann’s chocolate donuts, three bags of stale bagels, a tub of warm cream cheese, and some Slim Jims. The Fat Mooch works with my brother, and he manages to invite himself to this trip every year. He’s always the first in line whenever food is being served, but when it’s his turn to provide a meal he throws out some cheap shit he bought last minute at the local mini mart and calls it good. He makes good money, but apparently this is the best he can do. He’s also a snagger, and likes to drop a pair of heavily weighted flies in front of his ladder and then wait for a pod of fish to swim by. Once they’re in range, he gives those flies a “twitch,” and it’s “Fish on, brah!” He never pinches his barbs because that makes it harder to land something when it's stuck in the gut. I guess rocking a flat brim makes all of that OK.

Once we’d finished with our gas station breakfast, Cornholio took off and headed home. The rest of the boys then jumped in their trucks and went in search of cleaner water, while Jerry and I stayed back and guarded camp.
4.JPG
4.JPG (171.25 KiB) Viewed 283 times
Jerry insists on getting the most out of his gear.
5.JPG
5.JPG (228.6 KiB) Viewed 283 times
He complained about being all cut up from stripping streamers, so I gave him a finger condom.
6.JPG
6.JPG (132.74 KiB) Viewed 283 times

At 2:30 I drained my last beer. Fortunately I still had plenty of Hobo Spice on hand.
7.JPG
7.JPG (192.53 KiB) Viewed 283 times
The wind settled down, and by 4:00 our beach cleared of mud and moss, so Jerry and I decided to fish.
8.JPG
8.JPG (140.64 KiB) Viewed 283 times
I waded out until I was waist-deep and started casting, and soon noticed schools of fish swimming behind me.

I backed up until I was knee deep, and watched them spook as they swam towards me.

After that I fished from shore.

Which is why I no longer fish from a ladder. Based upon my experience there’s really no need for it.

Plus standing on a ladder reminds me too much of painting. And I hate painting.

We both started off stripping streamers, but after half an hour or so Jerry decided that he'd rather stare at a bobber. That’s when this happened.
9.JPG
9.JPG (148.4 KiB) Viewed 283 times
10.JPG
10.JPG (150.04 KiB) Viewed 283 times
It was the closest I got to a fish all weekend.

Soon afterwards the boys returned and my elbow started complaining again, so I headed in.

I mentioned that I was out of beer, and one of the guys brought out a bunch of these.
11.JPG
11.JPG (176.58 KiB) Viewed 283 times
They were OK, but I’d rather drink Budweiser.

My brother and his buddy Ed then made an additional contribution to the ethnic confusion of our group by preparing a spectacular Mexican feast.
12.JPG
12.JPG (210.92 KiB) Viewed 283 times
13.JPG
13.JPG (163.67 KiB) Viewed 283 times
14.JPG
14.JPG (154.71 KiB) Viewed 283 times
15.JPG
15.JPG (171.95 KiB) Viewed 283 times
16.JPG
16.JPG (177.76 KiB) Viewed 283 times
17.JPG
17.JPG (137.92 KiB) Viewed 283 times
18.JPG
18.JPG (161.84 KiB) Viewed 283 times
19.JPG
19.JPG (196.27 KiB) Viewed 283 times
After the feast I dragged my chair to the fire...
20.JPG
20.JPG (80.91 KiB) Viewed 283 times
… and not long afterwards I dragged my ass to the front seat of my truck and went to sleep.

The next morning I woke up, couldn’t find a beer, couldn’t find a cigar, wandered aimlessly for a bit, destroyed the outhouse, and then packed up my truck and headed home.

Of the fifteen who attended, three didn’t catch anything.

If you only count fish caught in the mouth, then four didn’t catch anything.

And if you were to only count fish caught on streamers, then just about everyone in our group didn’t catch anything.

Maybe I’ll have better luck next year.

Or not.

Like I give a shit.

Cheers boys.
21.JPG
21.JPG (124.11 KiB) Viewed 283 times

User avatar
mitch aka 2 fish
Posts: 1550
Joined: Tue Jan 02, 2007 1:01 am
Location: a big sincere thank you to all of you who still participate, I'm still here, every single day.

Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by mitch aka 2 fish » Wed May 01, 2019 9:48 pm

Average Joe wrote:
Wed May 01, 2019 9:15 pm

Like I give a shit.

:stupid
hey! everyone entitled owns a right opinion, buddy.

User avatar
rampant
Posts: 321
Joined: Sat Mar 23, 2013 5:46 am

Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by rampant » Thu May 02, 2019 6:20 am

:cool Cheers

User avatar
fatman
Posts: 5407
Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:17 pm
Location: where the deer and the antelope play

Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by fatman » Thu May 02, 2019 7:58 am

:smile
My drinkin' days are over; I'm still trouble bound - Slaid Cleaves

"This place is so fucked up. Where else could you find a thread with a Debbie Gibson song, a chapter from Fyodor Dostoevsky, and a sweet under boob pic like that on the same page?" - Hogleg

"You may not be smart, but your car gets good gas mileage". - Stovetop

User avatar
-G-
Posts: 595
Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2015 4:31 pm

Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by -G- » Thu May 02, 2019 9:52 am

Thanks for the write up AJ. You guys don’t mess around with supper, and I appreciate that
Maybe we haven't drank enough Busch- Nolan

User avatar
CC Riebeeck
Posts: 216
Joined: Thu Feb 15, 2018 4:36 am
Location: The other side of nowhere

Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by CC Riebeeck » Thu May 02, 2019 11:58 am

Average Joe wrote:
Wed May 01, 2019 9:15 pm

After that I fished from shore.

Which is why I no longer fish from a ladder. Based upon my experience there’s really no need for it.

Plus standing on a ladder reminds me too much of painting. And I hate painting.

Fishing from a ladder...wtf
You'll be chumming the water from a drone next...

Fucking sage advice Joe
:cool

User avatar
LA Fly Guy
Posts: 530
Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:40 am
Location: SELA

Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by LA Fly Guy » Thu May 02, 2019 2:46 pm

Once Again, I enjoyed your fishless trip report.
... there are two kind of anglers, sight fishermen and the rest of you. If you don't see it first, it doesn't count. - Long Haired Dave

Bait fishermen and flatlanders that can't catch redfish spend more time fishing for specks - Redchaser

User avatar
Transylwader
Posts: 2145
Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:10 pm
Location: Your mum's bed

Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by Transylwader » Thu May 02, 2019 2:52 pm

Excellent reportage as per usual Meneer. Food looked dope AF as per usual. I see the lahonkytonks be cunty as per usual.
Standard Average Joe from the big blue in the desert. See any UFOs?
If assholes could fly, Raleigh would be a fucking airport - my Mum

User avatar
cornholio
Posts: 354
Joined: Mon Mar 03, 2014 9:05 pm
Location: (916)

Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by cornholio » Thu May 02, 2019 3:13 pm

That Mr. Clipf sure is a funny mofo.

AJ pretty much summed everything up nicely.
I pulled up Friday afternoon and before I put the truck in park and turned the engine off, AJ handed me a nice cold Budweiser through the driver-side window. I knew right then that it was going to be a damn good afternoon. Except for that part with the snake.
Lots of booze, smokes and insanely good food. And just the least amount of actual fishing so it officially counts as a fishing trip.
Always good hanging out with AJ and the rest of the crew. Looking forward to next time already!

Some shitty pics:

The important stuff, courtesy of AJ: Image

Image

Image

The food:
Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

The ‘fishing’:
Image

Image

Image

Image

Image


Cheers!
Image

User avatar
Lando
Posts: 4733
Joined: Mon Dec 10, 2007 1:01 am
Location: Out West

Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by Lando » Thu May 02, 2019 3:59 pm

You don't look Mexican.
If my tombstone reads, "He never ate sushi." it won't be a lie, and I'll be OK with that.

~Average Joe

User avatar
Average Joe
Posts: 2728
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:04 pm
Location: Where they rip out the trees and name streets after them.

Re: Once Again, I Caught Nothing

Post by Average Joe » Thu May 02, 2019 4:29 pm

Lando wrote:
Thu May 02, 2019 3:59 pm
You don't look Mexican.
I know, but whenever I go to the Home Depot I always get harassed by ICE.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: 421sd, Afternoon_Shower, ak_powder_monkey, Bigguy, fishskibum, hunterdau2, Juan es un pescado, LA Fly Guy, Lando, LTFI, Majestic-12 [Bot], Shufisher, Spoonkilr, stillsteamin, woolly bugger and 640 guests