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By B.M. Barrelcooker

This has been an extremely difficult year for me and I’m going to be straight up honest about it here. Trying to run a business with extra worries about employee safety and added costs and less revenue is hard enough. Managing a family of four kids each with their own crisis/challenge during this pandemic has been a struggle.

I’ve struggled myself mentally as things aren’t like they “should be”. I’ve faced some darker parts of me and faced several things that I’ve been avoiding dealing with for decades. Old wounds ......old hurts .......and old habits that started off as coping tools.
Severe anxiety has taken its toll on my mind, my family ,and my spirit.
I’ve been having some good long conversations with my creator and I’ve found comfort there.

So far this year I’ve only hunted with my boys and my dad. He is 82 this year and will go hunting any day.
Sometimes it used to feel like a I count each day with him as a blessing.

The last two days of just me and him together have been great. Today when we were coming out of the woods the sun was shining snd there was a cold breeze in my face. It was like heaven might be. I looked at my Papa and thought about this blessing ...... I wept . I really wept. Some of it was the joy of the day and some was knowing that the days like this are numbered and fleeting fast.
It was a perfect day and I got to tell him how much I enjoyed it.





Last edited by B.M. Barrelcooker on Tue Jan 26, 2021 6:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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By CharlieJenkem
I wish I had something to tell you other than a) you're not alone; and 2) that was great and I'm glad you shred it with us.
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By woolly bugger
CharlieJenkem wrote: Tue Dec 22, 2020 6:33 pm I wish I had something to tell you other than a) you're not alone; and 2) that was great and I'm glad you shred it with us.


I count my blessings every day. If this happened when I was in business we would have gone under in a month and had to file bankruptcy.
Not that things aren’t difficult right now but it’s mostly social but that take a toll on the psyche.

Sounds and looks like a grand day with your dad! Enjoy every day.

By Honyuk96
Thx BM. That was awesome. I share similar thoughts but more so geared towards my own 8YOkiddo. Cheers man, hope your pops ain’t done whackin ducks ! 2021 can only get better, cheers
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By fatman
real good, Cooker
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By Bigguy
BM, I’m not sure I have the wisdom to ease your difficult times. But I learned from my own dad that sometimes we need to reach deep and persevere. Glad to see you’re spending time with your dad, particularly whacking ducks, keep building the memories!
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By fly-chucker

fuckin Drake
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By LA Fly Guy
It's going to be all good in the end. If it's not good, then it ain't the end yet. Keep your head high.

You know my number if you ever need to chat, call me names, gossip about the other Brett - anything.
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By Redchaser

The struggles sound all to familiar, but I'm really glad to see that you've gotten a chance to get even a little reprive. Enjoy your time with your dad, and bet your bottom dollar that he's as grateful for the time spent together as you. If you need anything at all, reach out my friend.
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By The Wandering Blues
Damn. I’m already feeling a little emotional from saying good bye today to a fly fishing buddy who’s in hospice from Covid, and this, well.... I guess I’m well over due for a decent cry.

Peace to you and yours.
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By -G-
Think I might go hunting with my dad before the late doe seasons up. Thanks BM
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By PastorBen

I'm so sorry that you have had these struggles, I take heart in, that your faith has stayed steadfast. I take joy in your sharing these days with your father and boys...stay strong my friend....I will continue to hold you in my heart and prayers....
grace and peace

Well sh!t, Panama...

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