Classic Atlantic Salmon Fly Swap

kind of self-explanatory, right? We seem to have some impressive thread-wrappers that lurk around this board. let's try to keep your "first booger" posts at a minimum.
Aggers
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Re: Classic Atlantic Salmon Fly Swap

Post by Aggers » Sun Feb 08, 2015 4:02 am

austrotard wrote:just run with aggers for fuck's sake.

we'll post whatever hate/love mail you think you've missed here.

example:

hey fuckface,

have you got any jc?
no. you don't. because you didn't pick it up from the god damned post office.

asshole.

love you,
mitch

ps. dave carne said your [sic] a queer.
Sometimes the lights all shinin on me
Other times I can barely see
Lately it occurred to me
What a long, strange trip it's been

Fyi I live in Colorado now. New addy.
As for the rest, I know.

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austrotard
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Re: Classic Atlantic Salmon Fly Swap

Post by austrotard » Sun Feb 08, 2015 7:37 am

your mum is hawt.
mate, it's ryan says... and ryan didn't say.
you're out.

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ChaseChrome
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Re: Classic Atlantic Salmon Fly Swap

Post by ChaseChrome » Sun Feb 08, 2015 9:36 am

austrotard wrote:just run with aggers for fuck's sake.

we'll post whatever hate/love mail you think you've missed here.

example:

hey fuckface,

have you got any heron?
no. you don't. because you didn't pick it up from the god damned post office.

asshole.

love you,
Werner



Colorado is ghey
All thinking men are atheists...E. Hemingway

Sometimes hipness is what it ain't...Tower of P

Apparently they believe that putting a see through skirt on a word makes it OK...Average Joe

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fallen513
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Re: Classic Atlantic Salmon Fly Swap

Post by fallen513 » Mon Feb 09, 2015 10:30 pm

plenty of heron, obviously. duh.
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I love flyfishing so much I want it to die. -thalweg

Isn't it TIME?

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root wad
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Re: Classic Atlantic Salmon Fly Swap

Post by root wad » Tue Aug 04, 2015 8:19 pm

Can't believe this thing started 4 years ago last week. Make it matter boys. Anybody in this crew want to do a little redfish/snook/speckled trout trip? Or fish whatever the Keys has to offer at the time. I've know a few spots. And I miss Aggers. Hope he is doing well.
"A hatchery is what you get 'when you cross a sacred cow with a military base.'" Dr. Bernard Shanks
"When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns."

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austrotard
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Re: Classic Atlantic Salmon Fly Swap

Post by austrotard » Mon Aug 10, 2015 11:15 pm

***big bag of whine alert***

ah, the swap that ruined me for all other swaps.

I also miss aggers. he really was my inspiration with these things.
bouncing ideas off of each other... lifting each other's game...
he was the wind beneath my wings.
ha ha... what a queer.

I'm not sure I did anything clever after this. I can't remember when I did the chav or the black watch... I remember doing the bonny jock macleod at the beginning of austrotard but that's it. I just rested on my laurels after this swap. and spoke of it to others like I raised the wonga all my goddamned self.

sad thing is now it's just a waste of energy and time.
I've had the same fucking fly in my vice for two months now. tip, tag, veiling; trying to resurrect some mostly eaten fly I can't even remember the name of.
I have contemplated on selling the lot. more often than I'd care to admit.
hell, even the vice is now a collector's item since pb rodgers died. super monkey dingo wonga.

this week I'm returning $1800 payment to a mate/client who wanted 8no. flies done.
I've had this money for two years probably and I just can't bring myself to tie them any more. there's $2400 up for grabs there... nothing to turn your nose up at... I could tie one a day and be finished in a beatles week... but the passion is gone.

at one point I was on par with the deposits. still totally dragging my ass with it but four flies completed and two more on par with the payments... and then the carpet larvae came. small wonder... carpet's 30yrs old.
and that was fucking it, hey.

so I'm going to return all the deposit. let him have the two flies that haven't been eaten as an apology for being full of shit.
I'm done. I get absolutely no enjoyment out of it other than the second I finish, snap the photo and receive a couple ''yeah, buddy's''.
...and two minutes after that, straight back into the funk wondering why I even fucking bothered.

the last fly I tied was a nelly bly. probably one of the best proportional salmon flies I had tied next to bob white's evening star.
I knew how that was going to look. I had laid out all the materials. I measured everything and in the end found myself in sigma.
just to show everybody how fucking easy it was. and the reason? none; other than sticking my chin out to people who don't care (or matter) in the slightest.
and of course they know how fucking easy it is.
but there's little chance of a one-sided and all-knowing conversation once one has seen the smoke and mirrors.


anyway... all is not lost for our wayward and terribly depressing mitch.
he's swapped one drug for another and now carves useless shit instead of tying it.

and how long will this last? as long as all the rest.
once I feel I'm making a big difference to the carving world I'll shitcan the lot and move onto something else. I'm not sure why I do this but one thing I do know is that a leopard cannot change its spots.

so fuck you, aggers.
this is all your fault.
mate, it's ryan says... and ryan didn't say.
you're out.

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wovenstonefly
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Re: Classic Atlantic Salmon Fly Swap

Post by wovenstonefly » Wed Aug 12, 2015 6:21 pm

Well shit. What do you say after that?

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Ruddy Duck
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Re: Classic Atlantic Salmon Fly Swap

Post by Ruddy Duck » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:08 pm

We all burn out eventually. Time off usually takes care of everything.

9,999 posts on a wood carving forum, and you'll be back in the saddle.

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austrotard
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Re: Classic Atlantic Salmon Fly Swap

Post by austrotard » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:55 pm

little tiny carpet beetle larvae kicked my ass and you want to make with the funnies.

9999 posts on a woodworking forum?

if you think of the topic you can kinda figger out that market's already been cornered.

go on. think of a gay topic, find a forum and you'll find some sad fucker with 10k+.
fucking loosers. all of them.


note: when it comes to handing over the $1800 I may change my mind. I'm a tight ass like that.
and if you think about it, my incentive has always been money. even since my very first post.

$5.
mate, it's ryan says... and ryan didn't say.
you're out.

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Ruddy Duck
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Re: Classic Atlantic Salmon Fly Swap

Post by Ruddy Duck » Thu Aug 13, 2015 7:56 am

Ouch. Poor timing.

Apologies. Truth.

I understand that you are struggling with the fact that something that used to make you happy no longer brings you joy. This is a tough reality to deal with.

My point was simply that time heals all wounds. Or most of them. I hope it comes back to you.

I owe you $5 seppo.

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austrotard
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Re: Classic Atlantic Salmon Fly Swap

Post by austrotard » Thu Aug 13, 2015 8:47 am

give it to woven.
apparently a five dollar note can heal a broken heart.

and anyone upset by my deflection to aggers is only upset because it's true.

seriously. you can look it up.
trace back four years... it reads like a greek tragedy.
you know... greek meaning bum fun with no wonga.
mate, it's ryan says... and ryan didn't say.
you're out.

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austrotard
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Re: Classic Atlantic Salmon Fly Swap

Post by austrotard » Fri Aug 14, 2015 3:13 am

today, when I should have been quoting, I spent the better half of the arvo typing out the secrets of the tartan fly to a fella I don't know.
and I have never done that before. (well... no one had ever asked. I'm not even certain this fella did.)

upon reflection, I should have sold my secrets.

I always assumed that I would take the secret to my grave like stradivarius.
I also assumed that no one would ever make the connection with weaving the tartan to ribbon dancing around a maypole.

so that's it. I quit.
now who wants to know the secret to tying a swiss flag on a tag?

and what I mean is, who wants to know my ancient chinese secrets for $5?
mate, it's ryan says... and ryan didn't say.
you're out.

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