A Confession

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austrotard
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Re: A Confession

Post by austrotard » Sat Jun 09, 2018 8:55 pm

'so what sort of work do you fellows take on?' asked a client.
"everything except hydraulics and electricity... I'll sub that out at cost to you. I want absolutely nothing to do with it."
'are you not licensed?'
"the subcontractors of course are, but even if I was I wouldn't touch it."
'fair enough' he said before he asked 'ummm... what's hydraulics?'

"plumbing."
'why didn't you just say plumbing?'
"because I'm a flowering fucking tosspot trying to make 'up to your shoulders in shit' sound better."


confession: fuck it. makes for a good yarn.
trump is god, josh.


-anonymous mtice

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austrotard
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Re: A Confession

Post by austrotard » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:32 am

ever wanna be mitch?
here's a day in mitch's cunting fucking life.

confession: today I had to be home at half five to get elizabeth to her band concert which starts in 7min.

relates: after dropping her off I shit, shave and shower and wait for the missus to get home.

relates: her indoors gets home and asks me 'where are you going?'

relates: "to the concert."

relates: 'I didn't get you a ticket.'

relates: "right."

relates: 'I can still get you one... it's online...'

relates: "I had a funny feeling it was ticketed..."

relates: 'nope. sold out.'

relates: "right."


elates: a simple law of averages dictates that every now and then you're bound to be totally surrounded by cunts.

lates: I could use a mistress.

sate: preferably one that doesn't know the meaning of sate.
trump is god, josh.


-anonymous mtice

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austrotard
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Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2012 2:24 am
Location: the austrocity exhibition
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Re: A Confession

Post by austrotard » Wed Jun 20, 2018 9:18 pm

confession: I am wearing a charbon cap.

relates: but not necessarily following its instruction.

elates: and I am with rampant and castro.

lates: as one rarely does.
trump is god, josh.


-anonymous mtice

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chadroc
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Location: northeastern ct

Re: A Confession

Post by chadroc » Wed Jun 20, 2018 9:43 pm

god yarns make the world go round. i haven;'t shared any writing in a while, intimidated by the quality theseparts. meager offering.



he jacked one. a short essay.

the hush fell over the crowd. tens of people gathered at river road field grew silent as the old man stepped to the plate. bring it. he said. spat on the dry dirt. small plumes of dust rising which he kicked over with his clown shoe. julian smelled the blood in the air. the old man had one last stand.

julian busted him inside a few times. the younger pitcher knew his hips were weak. the old grizzled warrior got around on a couple and hit some laser beams to left. but he was clearly hobbled. wincing and grinding, one last time, he thought to himself. find your ball.

i got him right where i want him, thought the bearded righty. the young bucks don't respect the old steer. let be, let be. see what happens, buck.

he wound up, delivered.

julian tried a high fastball. out over the plate where the old man could extend on it. bad move. the long toothed coach came around and blasted one to right center. his old timey power alley. if only Ryan Gilman could see him now.

as he majestically stumbled down first base line he held his bat and flipped it. the ball rose and rose, arching through the sweet june evening, a moonshot, elliptical, perfect, curving and flying. he got all of that one.

his son climbed the fence and retrieved the ball. tens of people stood and savagely cheered. the drone of their joy was deafening to the half deaf old man.

as he rumbled to first base, he double tapped his chest and pointed skyward, just like manny ramirez used to do in 2004. he struggled to round the bases, once more for one moment in time, golden.

and the old ghosts of the SMSL stirred in their graves at olympic park. votive candles seemed to flicker all the brighter in the graveyard next door. in another lifetime the third game would start around nine and it’d still be slightly light outside, when we’d try to get three in around the solstice. those were the days. and so are these.

Image
holding it down on the other side of the border

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