Cut my nuts please

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bullship
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Re: Cut my nuts please

Post by bullship » Fri Mar 08, 2013 7:25 pm

Well......I thought I was ready to do this thing...but I just read the whole thread and now I'm not sure. Mixed feelings, mixed feelings.

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pbrstreetgang
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Re: Cut my nuts please

Post by pbrstreetgang » Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:14 am

pfft...it's just like jumping in a cold pool. Except when you get out this time, you're sterile.
Everybody knows this is nowhere...

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RFA
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Re: Cut my nuts please

Post by RFA » Sat Mar 09, 2013 8:11 pm

What I remember:

15 minutes in the doctor's office. Stopping at Big City Burrito on the way home with a Big Gulp full of microbrew. Frozen peas on my nuts for a few days. Sitting around and drinking beer/watching movies with no expectation that I would even be able to get myself up, let alone do housework.


I would do it again......even though I am sterile.
As it turns out, God? He was a squirrel. A big 'ol meaty one. "I found god, he used to say"

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bullship
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Re: Cut my nuts please

Post by bullship » Sat Mar 09, 2013 9:25 pm

I have a little bit of ball trauma background. I was attacked by 17 giant, angry, underfed, Micheal Vick trained pit bulls when i was 12 or so and they ripped my nut sack to shreds......ok, so it was a german shepard and i only had one entire testicle exposed....ok, so it was really my cocker spaniel, Pepe, and although it scared the living shit out of me and my Uncle(who had to inspect my sak that was slightly inside out), i managed to get only a few stitches and have 2 kids 20 something years later. One of them is 2. The other is 2 weeks. 8 minutes after my daughter was born my wife was trying to schedule an appointment for me. The local blowjob factory has suffered horrible losses throughout the great recession, and was finally forced to shut down due to insufficient funds, so there will be no happy ending while I'm sitting on the couch with a bag of peas stuffed up into my crotch. As a matter of fact, there will be no sitting on the couch doing nothing because my balls really hurt honey because we live in a house the size of 4 small closets smushed together, and I live with a 2 year old, a 2 week old, a dog, cat, and an insufferable bitch that just went through a 12 hour natural labor that will absolutely have no sympathy for me....and will likely call me a pussy 400978 times before and just after this procedure.

All of that is just bitching. The real reason I'm nervous is because I'm poor. I'm poor enough that the government has decided that it would be best if I didn't have any more childrens, so they have graciously offered to pay for my procedure....which is offered solely by a ramshackle health department 4 counties away. I realize that I will be much poorer if I have another kid as i will have to get a divorce and move to another country, since I will not spend another 5 seconds with my wife as a pregnant. Fuck. I'm gonna do it, but I don't really want to. I was secretly hoping for a c section so I could slip the doc a 6 pack to tie up the tubes. No such luck. My balls hate me.

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bullship
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Re: Cut my nuts please

Post by bullship » Thu Oct 09, 2014 5:02 pm

Batter up

Image

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FredA
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Re: Cut my nuts please

Post by FredA » Thu Oct 09, 2014 7:26 pm

Gonna shock and awe the doc with the pre-pubescent look huh? Or are they just making you do it yourself?

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bullship
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Re: Cut my nuts please

Post by bullship » Thu Oct 09, 2014 7:35 pm

Yeah it's not a service they provide, which may or may have not been put into policy after he had a good look at my junk. Can't wait! Fuck me.... My luck will be that my last night of manhood will produce baby número three...just mere hours before the junk slaying. Either way, I'm hitting it.

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SOBF
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Re: Cut my nuts please

Post by SOBF » Sat Oct 11, 2014 4:21 am

Yeah it's not a service they provide
Having this done I would not recommend going with the low bidder. Just sayin'

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bullship
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Re: Cut my nuts please

Post by bullship » Sat Oct 11, 2014 6:35 am

Good advice. It's a fine upstanding place. They just prefer to not shave balls I guess. Can't say I blame them. All in all it was fine. The procedure was no biggie. I got to enjoy a minor Valium buzz and have good conversation with the doc. Laid on the couch and drank fancy beers the rest of the day. As soon as the blue balls/kicked in the nuts feeling goes away I think I'll be back to normal. Well....except I'm neutered. Yay for creampies

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austrotard
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Re: Cut my nuts please

Post by austrotard » Sat Oct 11, 2014 7:54 pm

from what I understand you have to blow your load ten times before they give you the all clear.
that's ten roots wearing condoms or ten long(ish) showers depending on your supplies...

my missus would entertain two, maybe three top whack. ten deposits would take a full house restoration, a gym membership and three fucking years,. maybe even a new car.
you've seen her... you've seen me. things have changed since '97.

so I'm keeping the testiclay for my second asian missus.

fuck those bishes, hey.

you know... just not literally.
we'll always have buffalo, sweet josh.

-mtice

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bullship
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Re: Cut my nuts please

Post by bullship » Wed Oct 15, 2014 5:15 pm

Update: my balls look a little like Aaron Neville's face. Not quite as falsetto, but quite a but more wrinkly.
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pbrstreetgang
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Re: Cut my nuts please

Post by pbrstreetgang » Wed Oct 15, 2014 6:09 pm

you left a goatee on your balls?
Everybody knows this is nowhere...

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