fucker's kettle must be fast.
got my results back today f
I'm the charlie brown of drug tests.
I get a call from the guv'nor.
tickets have been paid for by us
along with the 450 dollar medical.
(dogs bell funny in austria)
stoner mitch: g'day.
guv'nor: ah yeah g'day... is this mr. big underbelly?
s m: yeah...umm...shit. look, I was in the snowys mate... no one told me there was a piss test. if I knew, I wouldn't have bothered.
guv: heh heh, no worries mate. I didn't fucking know either. thing is, this little adventure has already cost the firm 3k and I can't get any other bastard to go. it's too late. if you took another test monday you reckon you'd pass?
sm: umm...would I bollocks.
guv: look mate, take it easy this weekend... just drink a load of piss.
sm: heh heh... I'll do that anyway, mate... but from what I hear it stays in your system for a month or something... it'll be a waste of more fucking quids.
guv: I'm willing to take a punt, appointments 4pm same place monday.
sm: fuck, mate... there's easier twatting jobs than this.
guv: heh heh. no there isn't mitch. be lucky, son.
stoner mitch: what is it.
guv'nor: listen capone... I've been talking to 'johnny the dodgy pom' and he reckons if you bomb some liver pills with milk thistle in it and drink a shitload of water you'll dodge the bullet come monday.
sm: yeah. I've got a bottle of them right here ($40) but I don't think they'll work... they're fucking herbal.
guv: so was the shit that got you into this bother, mate.
sm: I've also bought 9litres ($10) of water... I'll probably fucking drown this weekend.
guv: your luck... you'll probably get hit by a bus on sunday. wear clean pants.
sm: yeah, funny. at least when I piss meself it won't pong. who's paying this one?
guv: you are, mate.
times like this... I wish I was nicer to veetch.
now I'm trying to get straight to do something I don't even want to fucking do. hard place... meet rock.
I got a pretty cushty number that pays bundles, holidays every other month and I run my own crew... not the best time to be on the dole either.
on a lighter note, heero wrote us another song... the kook.
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it's gonna be a long night.
perhaps I'll try and get me nuts in.