Deep Thoughts....

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Stovetop
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Deep Thoughts....

Post by Stovetop » Wed Apr 06, 2011 9:25 am

Excerpts From
Justin Bieber's New Book


“People write to me and say, ‘I’m giving up, you never write back.’ I just write them a simple message like, ‘Never give up,’ you know? And it changes their life. I try to read all of my fan mail. A lot of them send me candy, which I'm not allowed to eat 'cause my mom says it might be poisonous."

"Usher rang me and was like 'Hey bro what you doing?' and I was like 'nothing bro, what you doing?' and he was like 'cutting some tracks, do you want to come over bro?' so my mum dropped me off at his house and we took ecstacy and watched the movie White Chicks."

"At 9am each day, I have a fresh puppy delivered to my hotel room and I kick it."

"I have a conjoined twin on my stomach. Identical to me in every way, except for only being eight inches tall, his name is Carl. Sometimes, I cover Carl with a hanky. Everyone needs a little time to themselves. Like when I am having a bath or watching women's tennis."

"I don't know what I would be doing if I wasn't a famous singer. I would probably be a male model. I have experience. When I was younger, I often stayed with my uncle Trevor and he would give me twenty dollars to run through the sprinkler while he took photos for his website."

"I once stabbed a prostitute to death."

pulled from http://www.helpmesellmorebooksthanjusti ... /head.html
Last edited by Stovetop on Thu Apr 07, 2011 12:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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blumpkin
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Re: Deep Thoughts....

Post by blumpkin » Wed Apr 06, 2011 11:08 am

Without spoiling a good read for me,
please... more exerpts.
"Dunno how this’ll go, I’ve been drinking since 2”
Travis.

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flybug.pa.
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Re: Deep Thoughts....

Post by flybug.pa. » Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:49 pm

who is this bieber?sounds like half a man :coffee
If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.
- Frank Zappa

speybait
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Re: Deep Thoughts....

Post by speybait » Wed Apr 06, 2011 1:21 pm

That's pretty good, Stove. :cool
""Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips!"

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locogringo
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Re: Deep Thoughts....

Post by locogringo » Wed Apr 06, 2011 9:14 pm

Stovetop wrote:Excerpts From
Justin Bieber's New Book


"I have a conjoined twin on my stomach. Identical to me in every way, except for only being eight inches tall, his name is Carl. Sometimes, I cover Carl with a hanky. Everyone needs a little time to themselves. Like when I am having a bath or watching women's tennis."
I sometimes put a hanky over my Carl as well.

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Woolybug25
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Re: Deep Thoughts....

Post by Woolybug25 » Wed Apr 06, 2011 9:55 pm

"All mountain hippies are as young as they day they were born, smarter than Einstein, better looking than Tom Selleck and could outfish an army of pinners." - foureyedgeek

www.hiptothesip.blogspot.com

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Transylwader
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Re: Deep Thoughts....

Post by Transylwader » Wed Apr 06, 2011 10:20 pm

Man thats fucking funny! 1st time I heard about that little pratt was watching the Jets vs the Pats in the AFC post season game, that irritating little cunt Tony Cornheiser was commenting about how Beiber was chirping Brady about his hair being long like a girl, Brady's comment was "who the fuck is Justin Beiber" haha, gotto love it, nice that not everyone notice these little oxygen thieving poofters... :gun
If assholes could fly, Raleigh would be a fucking airport - my Mum

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flybug.pa.
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Re: Deep Thoughts....

Post by flybug.pa. » Thu Apr 07, 2011 2:54 am

a hanky for carl, grow one ,pussy :coffee
If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.
- Frank Zappa

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Stovetop
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Location: At Least 100 Yards from Mariah Carey

Re: Deep Thoughts....

Post by Stovetop » Thu Apr 07, 2011 9:47 am

When musky fishing, sometimes I like to think of my fly as an underwater gay pride parade. That’ll piss those muskies off.

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DeadRatsClacker
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Re: Deep Thoughts....

Post by DeadRatsClacker » Thu Apr 07, 2011 12:43 pm

aha that explains the color selection

i thought u were just using offcuts from your Priscilla Queen of the Ozarks Outfits








funny as all fuck _ cherrylimade out the nose_ you need to come fish caddis
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Stovetop
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Re: Deep Thoughts....

Post by Stovetop » Thu Apr 07, 2011 5:12 pm

blumpkin wrote:Without spoiling a good read for me,
please... more exerpts.
Shit Blump. I don't want to ruin a good gift idea for the MOB.

Here are a few more and then I'll quit bumping this shit...

Why are some convenience store coffee stations set up so confusingly? When I’m in one of those stores, I start to get mad. “Why are the lids to the coffee cups on the other side of the store?” Instead of getting mad, I do what other people do and think of happy things like cats. But then I remember I hate cats, so, I take a dump in the novelty freezer. That makes me happy.

My best pickup line in a bar has always been, “I’ve been following you for days”. They’ll usually look aghast and start backing up and that’s when I say, “just kidding…….I love you.”

If you’re going to break up with a girl, don’t make her a spaghetti dinner on the night of the breakup.

If you hit on a girl in a bar and she says she’s in college studying to be a classical Oboe player, go for the obvious joke. If the joke doesn’t work out with her you can always be confident with the fact you don’t listen to classical music.

If lakes had seams, I’ld fish lakes more.

Lake flyfishing for muskies can be about as much fun as looking into the mirror after you’ve taken acid and your face is going through some sort of plate techtonics.

I don’t like fly fishing in the wind because it messes my hair up.

Which came first the tippet or the leader?

My girlfriend always laughs when I remind her I’m funny.

If you go out on a first date with a girl to a friend’s party and it’s January and she gets real drunk and dares you to skinny dip in the pool which has left over 40 degree rain water in it and you do and then on the way home she throws up in your car and you offer her one of your socks to wipe her mouth off with, don’t expect to get laid that night.

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