A Confession

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austrotard
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Re: A Confession

Post by austrotard » Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:16 pm

confession: a drakian is on his way to pertharoo.

relates: to catch half fish.

elates: it'll be like a 90 to 100 centigrade difference for the poor fucko... and that's mentally retarded.

lates: the sharks are stacked on top of each other out there. for reals. chomp chomp chomp.

ates: yeah. perhaps they will.

eta? fuck knows. you what drakians are like... the one star motherscratchers.
I can freely burn a bible in the street but watch what happens with this koran...

now someone fucking explain that to me.

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yard4sale
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Re: A Confession

Post by yard4sale » Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:21 pm

Why am I skeptical it’s somebody who has fished with you before?
You can't go back and you can't stand still
If the thunder don't get you then the lightning will

When your choices are between a pedophile religious zealot or a dem suddenly the pedophile religious zealot doesn't sound too bad. - PLOW

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austrotard
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Re: A Confession

Post by austrotard » Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:30 pm

it's not. $5 for shooting first.

I can freely burn a bible in the street but watch what happens with this koran...

now someone fucking explain that to me.

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root wad
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Re: A Confession

Post by root wad » Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:51 pm

austrotard wrote:
Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:16 pm
confession: a drakian is on his way to pertharoo.

relates: to catch half fish.
Hard-earned lesson here... Should he offer to share fuel costs insist on taking receipt of the funds up front.
"A hatchery is what you get 'when you cross a sacred cow with a military base.'" Dr. Bernard Shanks
"When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns."

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austrotard
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Re: A Confession

Post by austrotard » Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:53 pm

you sound exactly like jose.
I can freely burn a bible in the street but watch what happens with this koran...

now someone fucking explain that to me.

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BigTimber
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Re: A Confession

Post by BigTimber » Wed Jan 10, 2018 9:24 am

root wad wrote:
Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:51 pm
austrotard wrote:
Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:16 pm
confession: a drakian is on his way to pertharoo.

relates: to catch half fish.
Hard-earned lesson here... Should he offer to share fuel costs insist on taking receipt of the funds up front.
don't bother. you should pay his way anyhow's for the pure enjoyment of his presence.

best wear a rubber jumper to bed, though.....keeps the piss off, and I don't mean whiskey.
This place has enough jiggly milkbags, marsupials fisting off, and animated cherubs getting stabbed in the fuck to get anyone shitcanned, if''n their boss can''t take a joke. ~SUAF

Pussy, much like freedom, ain't free.

America has become a dildo that has turned berserkly on its owner. ~McGuane 1971

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austrotard
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Re: A Confession

Post by austrotard » Wed Jan 10, 2018 11:48 am

confession: 1:48am safety meeting.

relates: apparently I was snoring.

non-elates: I was.
I can freely burn a bible in the street but watch what happens with this koran...

now someone fucking explain that to me.

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Average Joe
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Re: A Confession

Post by Average Joe » Thu Jan 11, 2018 4:14 pm

In late December I told my wife, "I'd like to start cooking more next year... at least two or three times a week."

Her reply was, "Wonderful!"

"I also plan to spend more time getting out of the house, fishing the bay."

"Thank God!"

She's easy to please.

A day or two later I fucked up my right arm.

No idea how.

Since then I haven't been able to button my shirt, much less cook a meal or hold a fly rod.

Even now I'm typing this with the index finger of my left hand.

Wife keeps telling me to go and see a doctor, but I know where that path leads.

Then the dog got sick.

$2,500.00

Washing machine went out.

$500.00

Dishwasher went out.

Still waiting for the bill.

On Monday I came down with the Austrian plague.

Since then I've been sleeping in the recliner.

I may have cracked a rib coughing last night.

My wife has been making me tea.

Tea tastes like shit no matter how much booze you put in it, so after she leaves the room I dump it out and fill the mug with brandy.

All with my left hand.

At first it was a struggle, but now I'm pretty quick about it.

Same with wiping my ass.

Yesterday she wondered why the houseplant closest to my recliner had such wet soil when all the others were so dry.

I haven't changed out of my clothes, showered, or brushed my teeth since Monday.

Feels like I'm at the luau.

I recently found some things Mitch left behind the last time he stayed here.

Not the Cohiba ashtray, but I'll hold on to these should he visit again.
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Not quite two weeks into January, and so far 2018 is proving to be an unexpectedly challenging year.

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BigTimber
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Re: A Confession

Post by BigTimber » Fri Jan 12, 2018 7:47 am

take 2 advil every 12 hours for a week, then go to doc.
This place has enough jiggly milkbags, marsupials fisting off, and animated cherubs getting stabbed in the fuck to get anyone shitcanned, if''n their boss can''t take a joke. ~SUAF

Pussy, much like freedom, ain't free.

America has become a dildo that has turned berserkly on its owner. ~McGuane 1971

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Lando
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Re: A Confession

Post by Lando » Fri Jan 12, 2018 9:50 am

Average Joe wrote:
Thu Jan 11, 2018 4:14 pm


Feels like I'm at the luau.

This made me laugh hard...............because it is so true.

But harden the fuck up. You have to be able to row in a few months..........or we can just cut it off......
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If my tombstone reads, "He never ate sushi." it won't be a lie, and I'll be OK with that.

~Average Joe

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Average Joe
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Re: A Confession

Post by Average Joe » Fri Jan 12, 2018 4:12 pm

Lando wrote:
Fri Jan 12, 2018 9:50 am
But harden the fuck up. You have to be able to row in a few months..........
I just want to establish a solid foundation of semi-valid excuses I can throw out while we're floating in circles and bouncing off rocks.

I'm hoping Hagen hasn't lost any weight. I can use that as well.

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Lando
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Re: A Confession

Post by Lando » Fri Jan 12, 2018 6:20 pm

I don’t think getting to 220 was one of his New Year’s resolutions. He did send me $200 to buy lotto tickets.
If my tombstone reads, "He never ate sushi." it won't be a lie, and I'll be OK with that.

~Average Joe

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