A Confession

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Lando
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Re: A Confession

Post by Lando » Wed Sep 27, 2017 9:05 am

I owe you a hundred.
If my tombstone reads, "He never ate sushi." it won't be a lie, and I'll be OK with that.

~Average Joe

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austrotard
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Re: A Confession

Post by austrotard » Tue Oct 03, 2017 10:42 am

confession: I may have peed on the porch.

relates: tr forthcoming.

elates: mark has photos.
49% of americans assume I give a shit about what they think.

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BigTimber
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Re: A Confession

Post by BigTimber » Wed Oct 04, 2017 6:37 am

is porch a new mate?
This place has enough jiggly milkbags, marsupials fisting off, and animated cherubs getting stabbed in the fuck to get anyone shitcanned, if''n their boss can''t take a joke. ~SUAF

Pussy, much like freedom, ain't free.

America has become a dildo that has turned berserkly on its owner. ~McGuane 1971

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Average Joe
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Re: A Confession

Post by Average Joe » Thu Oct 05, 2017 5:38 pm

My wife bought me an iPhone and deactivated my flip phone.

After a day, the iPhone shut down and could not be revived.

My wife sent it back and got me a new one.

Yesterday it took me half an hour to type an eight word text message and then send it to Lando.

He never responded.

At the moment I'm not very pleased with my wife.

And I hate this fucking phone.

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fatman
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Re: A Confession

Post by fatman » Thu Oct 05, 2017 5:52 pm

Average Joe wrote:
Thu Oct 05, 2017 5:38 pm
My wife bought me an iPhone and deactivated my flip phone.

After a day, the iPhone shut down and could not be revived.

My wife sent it back and got me a new one.

Yesterday it took me half an hour to type an eight word text message and then send it to Lando.

He never responded.

At the moment I'm not very pleased with my wife.

And I hate this fucking phone.
the chronicles of this phone should provide tons of fodder for Teh Suk
My drinkin' days are over; I'm still trouble bound - Slaid Cleaves

"This place is so fucked up. Where else could you find a thread with a Debbie Gibson song, a chapter from Fyodor Dostoevsky, and a sweet under boob pic like that on the same page?" - Hogleg

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Bigguy
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Re: A Confession

Post by Bigguy » Thu Oct 05, 2017 8:41 pm

Oh shit! Once AJ puts phone numbers in the phone, somebody’s gonna get butt-dialed...frequently.

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austrotard
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Re: A Confession

Post by austrotard » Thu Oct 05, 2017 8:42 pm

please be me... please be me...
49% of americans assume I give a shit about what they think.

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Lando
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Re: A Confession

Post by Lando » Thu Oct 05, 2017 10:52 pm

Average Joe wrote:
Thu Oct 05, 2017 5:38 pm
My wife bought me an iPhone and deactivated my flip phone.

After a day, the iPhone shut down and could not be revived.

My wife sent it back and got me a new one.

Yesterday it took me half an hour to type an eight word text message and then send it to Lando.

He never responded.

At the moment I'm not very pleased with my wife.

And I hate this fucking phone.
That was you?
If my tombstone reads, "He never ate sushi." it won't be a lie, and I'll be OK with that.

~Average Joe

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austrotard
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Location: the austrocity exhibition
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Re: A Confession

Post by austrotard » Mon Oct 09, 2017 3:42 am

confession: there's a fella here that can make things happen.

relates:
IMG_1124.jpg
IMG_1124.jpg (154.04 KiB) Viewed 329 times

elates: $0.

lates: is like petrol wonga, yes?
49% of americans assume I give a shit about what they think.

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flashback
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Re: A Confession

Post by flashback » Sun Oct 15, 2017 4:38 am

low holed on my favorite water yesterday by a complete pos. Nobody else for at least half a mile downstream and a quarter mile upstream, I'm swinging a fly above a tail out, water very high but still trying when this jerk comes about thirty feet downstream and walks right into where my fly reached the end of the swing, the most likely place to expect a hit. I'd had a few short strikes so far. The jerk then proceeded to wade farther out, I was tempted to go ahead and cast normally, but snagging is illegal in NY. Another guy saw this as he was walking by to leave and couldn't believe it. I got bummed out and left, as I was driving out I saw what had to be his car parked alone, not too visible until you came right upon it--Quebec plates no less---a tourist.
My confession:I did nothing to damage his car, not even a flat tire or paint scratch. I must be getting old.

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austrotard
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Re: A Confession

Post by austrotard » Sun Oct 15, 2017 4:59 am

you're a dentist and he's quebecois.
beakfarts coca cola is doing your job for you, mate. rest easy.



topical confession: I haven't put up my tassie tr.

topical relates: no one cares.

topical elates: aggers is back. kinda.
49% of americans assume I give a shit about what they think.

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B.M. Barrelcooker
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Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:57 pm
Location: Aintry

Re: A Confession

Post by B.M. Barrelcooker » Sun Oct 15, 2017 10:18 am

I know a guy that throws rocks at people like that.


I think the "BM" on this mound actually stands for "bowel movement"; one of Franzen's, if I'm not mistaken...


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