A Confession

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VTNZ
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Re: A Confession

Post by VTNZ » Mon Feb 11, 2013 11:16 pm

RFA wrote:Mouse Killing....


I've gotten pretty good at it, I have to admit. We did the humane trap thing when we first moved up here.....I actually took the time to drive them down the fucking road on my way to work and let them off in a field....like there would be some fucking mouse family with mustaches awaiting them with open arms, and they would live out their lives rolling in the hay, never to see a human again....until the thresher was fired up.

I have learned 2 things about mice in my 12 years on the mountain: 1. If you release a mouse into a foreign atmosphere, it will likely get killed by other mice due to territorial instincts, and 2. Who gives a fuck.

I have tried many mousetraps in my stay, and dealt with many home invasions. It seems to be cyclical...you get small ants one year, big carpenter ones the next, then fucking mice. Wait...flies......they are about every 3 years.

So, back to my point...the stupid boxes and shit you put out......waste of time. The good 'ol spring trap, a la Tom and Jerry, works best...but not all mousetraps are the same.


Side by side....Victor has a great logo, by the way:

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1st review...old school trap....same design, spring loaded guillotine...takes a lot to trip it. We have had several of them have the peanut butter eaten off without effect.

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2nd Review...the update. This yellow plastic may look like an unecessary addition, but the large platform along with the slickness added(for easy trigger) due to the plastic makes this a clear winner. Plus, it's cut like Swiss cheese....so the mouse will say to him or herself.."Fuck, look at the size of that slice of swiss!" :

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This was one of the best things I've read on Teh Suk since we've gone Back in Black. :coffee

:cool
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unskunkable
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Re: A Confession

Post by unskunkable » Tue Feb 12, 2013 1:33 pm

Top secret tip with the mouse traps... Put a small piece of steak on there. It holds better, the little turds never get away and you can reset the trap several times with the same bait.
Welcome. Please take my seat. I'm currently about to douse myself with gas and light a joint-Jhnnythndr

and it was then, just like the time when I was asked for my passport... a little bit of poop came out.-shunned

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fallen513
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Re: A Confession

Post by fallen513 » Tue Feb 12, 2013 10:41 pm

No wonder you have mice dude, you're feedin' 'em fuckin' steak!
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Hogleg
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Re: A Confession

Post by Hogleg » Wed Feb 13, 2013 12:43 am

[report]Confession by proxy:

My name is Deets, I am a Black Lab and I FUCKING LOVE stuffed animals.

I love them so much that sometimes I eat them (or at least parts of them).

A couple of days ago I ate the arm off of my favorite pink Gorilla (fuck it was so good).

Tonight- well, I'm not feeling so good.
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I just had a 2.5 hour long surgery after a Barium study (which totally sucked by the way) to remove the Gorilla arm from my small intestines (ileocecal junction for those in the medical know).

Here's a picture of my guts.
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Thank Dog my Mom is a Veterinarian and recognized that I was obstructed because my dumb fuck Dad was clueless when I didn't eat last night or this morning.

My Mom took good care of me though, that's her wearing the funny costume with my beloved Gorilla arm in those forceps.

I know it may be gross and stinky now but Dog damn that thing tasted so good going down.
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Here's my intestines all sewn up good as new and ready for some more action.
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Don't laugh at my package here, it shrinks you know when you're under anesthesia in that cold O.R.
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You see that fist with the velcro on it? That's the problem. Apparently you want the other end to pass first, then it's smooth sailing.
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Here's a pic of my battle scar (again, please don't laugh at my package, it's fucking cold in the O.R.).

Anyway, I should be getting some sympathy pussy with that scar.

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Now I'm all fucked up as a can of worms. I hope they didn't throw that Gorilla arm away, I'm gonna eat that fucker again.

It was soooo fucking good!
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"girls with eating disorders will usually let you come in there in butt." -Jhnnythndr
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austrotard
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Re: A Confession

Post by austrotard » Wed Feb 13, 2013 2:58 am

that is sooo much funnier than that fella I hit with my truck last night.

confession: oh, never mind.
:cool
we'll always have buffalo, sweet josh.

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fatman
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Re: A Confession

Post by fatman » Wed Feb 13, 2013 7:19 am

fuckin Deets :coffee

bet Walter was laughin his ass off
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SLSS
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Re: A Confession

Post by SLSS » Wed Feb 13, 2013 7:41 am

Dogdammit.

My girl was convinced The Big Nugget had done the same thing with a one of a set of dish towels her mom had sent. He didn't want dinner (unheard of), and she was right near panic mode. It was Sunday night, and she was giving me all the possible scenarios (went to school for some science, and reads about dogs and horses all the time, and remembers every little bit of it).

Me, on the other hand, I remember what it costs every time we have an emergency at the vet. Not being a vet, it seems to start at about $243,228.00 to stop in for a visit. Then you go to Sunday night, x-rays, surgery..... me never going anywhere. Ever. Again.

Then Uly went and moaned by the door. I took him out and he took a colossal dump, full of the cardboard box he'd chewed up that morning.

Came back inside, and he was demanding dinner like he'd been foodless for a week.

Love that dog.

Well played, Mrs. Hog. I think everyone who wants dogs should probably go to vet school. Keeps the costs reasonable.
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Randall Dee
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Re: A Confession

Post by Randall Dee » Wed Feb 13, 2013 8:06 am

Haha! Deets.........Never shirked a task. :cool

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tb3.
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Re: A Confession

Post by tb3. » Wed Feb 13, 2013 8:13 am

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Confession: I'm 27 :coffee

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Average Joe
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Re: A Confession

Post by Average Joe » Wed Feb 13, 2013 10:40 am

Damn that was funny Hogleg. Fucking dogs will eat anything they can fit in their mouths.

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Surly
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Re: A Confession

Post by Surly » Wed Feb 13, 2013 1:05 pm

Hog, glad the pup came out ok.

Gave me a good chuckle, though. Much appreciated.
"If the trout are lost, smash the State." Thomas McGuane

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Spicytuna
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Re: A Confession

Post by Spicytuna » Wed Feb 13, 2013 1:09 pm

Great story and report Hog glad the pup made it out ok.

Shit between the mouse trap and the dog story, this basement is a good time :Roll Eyes
"In truth you can throw dries and swing flies and still be a loser. That would be an elite loser though.
Rare breed." - MTgrayling

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