First of all Slave - sorry to hear. That sucks. I'm sure you'll get used to the new brews. Does Scotch have gluten in it?
Spicy - nice to hear, alls well in the rear! (See what I did there?)
So…my "purgery" Friday night did the trick. - Hunted on Saturday AM and get this - HUNTED ON SUNDAY! My bowels can take bullets!
SO the two little pills were like small artillary fire meant to soften things up. No problem.
Sat AM - A good crunch before at 4Am I left and all was well in the turkey woods. Didn't see a bird though. Saw a fox and a cat, lots of birds.
I love watching the sun come up like that. Went home for a nap around 10 and back to a field at 3 where I laid in the sun un-harassed by any loud gobbles. (Shoulda just stayed there)
Sat Night - took the two little artillary pills like I should have in the first place.
For those of you unfamiliar with the Spanish Language - Pedorro means "Farter"
I was Pedorrisimo after those two little pills. Pedorro Grande Seco .
Sunday - So I've been scouting for over a week and already have two days in the woods at 4:30 so without even setting the alarm my eyes were open at 4:30. Damn! I feel pretty good. Visit the leu. Not bad, soft but "Together"
I wait till 5Am and nothing...Grab my shit and off to the woods...
Two gobbles way back - nothing but great morning for getting in a bit late.
Sunday night I took the sachets of shitstorm enhancer. The first three cups weren't bad, kinda like real mild lemon aid. No accidents even though a few were just farts at first I didn't let them fool me. SOBF's words were ominous - "Don't trust the fart"
I figured the first 5 or 6 farts were just DOG trying to fool me into trusting the Pedorro.
The 2nd three cups taste like hell. I think the fact that I already taught my gag reflexes how to work last night (See last post) didn't help here. But I got it down.
Again for those not into Spanish - A few years ago in Patagonia I asked my friend "Do you have a word for Shart?
"What is shart?" He asked
"Well, it's when you think you are going to fart and something terrible happens." - "Shit-Fart"
He laughed - Yes we call it "Pado con Challa" (Pronounced - Payo con Chya)
"It means - Fart with confetti"...But I digress...
The wife brought home some wanton soup because I wasn't to eat anything and was starving… I got the Won she got the Ton.
Anyway, I was supposed to drink plenty of clear fluid to augment the action of the shitstorm enhancer - wanton broth and WOW. Confetti! I could have shit on the ceiling! I wore a path to the can all evening. I felt like a female horse pissing.
My ass was raw so I took a shower and a little rub of Prep H to calm it down - worked great!
So this morning I was shitting Champagne… Clear as Bass water. (Not quite brookie water)
Booking was 8Am. I showed up, nurse had me put on the backwards housecoat and slippers - hit the head to make sure all was empty. Then she sticks me with an IV line (nothing attached) at 8:20 and informs me that the doctor starts at 9. Nice!
(BTW on the way to the head - two women in there as well getting their C's done. I guess women have colons too - whodathunkit?)
I had a headache and a bit dizzy so I told the nurse and asked for water. Instead of the water she took me in and got me on the BP and ECG. All was well. Next the Anesthisiologist comes in and smiles - "Your gonna like this"
Puts 2 vials of happyjuice into the IV. I make small talk and a few minutes later I'm looking up and say "Hey we're in a different room" Are we ready now?"
She laughs - "You are done - You can go home now."
Me - "You gotta be kidding me, serious?"
Her - "Yes here get into the wheelchair and I'll take you down stairs."
Me- Did I say anything stupid?
"Nope" all good.
So there's a TIm Hortons in the lobby and I grab a coffee and a Cinnimon bun with icing! Eat it on the way to the car then the wife drives us to "Wimpy's Diner for this...
Oh - on the way out the nurse told me that there will be no need to follow up they did not find a single pollup!
Sorry to disappoint WB25 - I did not shit myself while hunting and never missed a beat. NARY A SCIDMARK.
Actually I had a nap after getting home from Hospital then went back to the turkey woods around 3 and stayed till dark. Called in a Tom to about 20 yds but no shot and he didn't like my jake decoy. Nice bird though, I saw him move in Friday eve after we killed his rival that Am - I'll get him this week. (I hope)
Anyway I felt like a million bucks as soon as I awoke - actually my best sleep in weeks.
After supper I had to fart - Said to my wife "Huh, you think I can trust it?" She said "TTF"
I'm back "El Pedorro."
That Fly took such a shellackin' I just wanted put a warm towel on her shoulders and
giver her a bowl of chicken soup…Blumpkin
We have an easygoing and demotivated freemarket type of uslessness here...JhnnyThndr