Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

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Spudnik
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Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by Spudnik » Sun Nov 16, 2014 11:17 am

Shitty beards.

They are everywhere and they are becoming progressively shittier.

The only 3 reasons to have a beard are as follows:

1.) you have a profession that requires you to spend a significant amount of time outdoors in the wind, rain, cold, and snow. This does not include fishing guides, but does include most hunting guides. The beard, in this instance, serves a purpose. It is a highly effective way to keep your face warm, and is therefore warranted.

2.) you actually look good in a beard. This applies to maybe 5-10% of men under the age of 40 who have a beard, and perhaps 30% of those in there 40s. You think you look good with a beard, your lying girlfriend tells you she likes your beard, and actually it's a shitty beard and you look like a gay lumberjack. Shave the fucking thing.

3.) you are over 50 years old, in which case, you can do whatever the fuck you want. It may still be a shitty beard, but who cares. You're not trying to be someone you're not by growing a beard like these young, confused hipsters. You be you.
"Do you think it is real? I bet it is hard and soft, like hard muscle but really smooth skin. I bet it is real nice." - midstream

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MTgrayling
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by MTgrayling » Sun Nov 16, 2014 11:43 am

Don't know about the beards. Sounds personal or something.

I will say that if you're gonna shave, shave like a fucking man. No 5 blade bullshit with chemical goo.

Get a real razor with real razor blades, get some soap and a brush. This is how men have shaved for generations before plastic overpriced shit came about.

Yah.
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SLSS
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by SLSS » Sun Nov 16, 2014 11:57 am

Spudnik wrote:Shitty beards.

They are everywhere and they are becoming progressively shittier.

The only 3 reasons to have a beard are as follows:



3.) you are over 50 years old, in which case, you can do whatever the fuck you want. It may still be a shitty beard, but who cares. You're not trying to be someone you're not by growing a beard like these young, confused hipsters. You be you.

DIng ding ding…. I'm happily out of this discussion…. but, I like it 'cause it's warm, and for some reason my girl prefers me beard to no. I mix that up by shaving it off in the summer, which is helpful for customer contact as my own beloved daughter, and then my wife, described me as looking sketchy when bearded. Which goes in a whole weird direction when it comes to my wife preferring the beard…


I find beards are a lot like cowboy hats.
It's lime the battles between sperm whales and giant squid half a mile below the surface of the ocean. Only it happens in the palm I your hand.- thndr

when I fall, I am still cold and wet, but much more stylishly dressed. as my hat disappears in the riffle- flybug.pa


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fatman
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by fatman » Sun Nov 16, 2014 1:26 pm

SLSS wrote:I find beards are a lot like cowboy hats.
A lot of truth in this. On the stream is cool for almost anyone, as nothing protects
from the sun like a wide-brimmed hat. At a rodeo, county fair, or concert is only acceptable if you
wear the damn thing on a daily basis.

I do remember a time when it was de rigueur for men to wear hats...not feed caps
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austrotard
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by austrotard » Sun Nov 16, 2014 4:18 pm

look, if we didn't let them grow beards we'd have to have them walk around with signs showing an arrow pointing downward thus to avoid them.

beards: natures spray paint warning there may be a hazard.


disclaimer: due to either the chinese or inuit blood in my veins I cannae grow a beard. hence the sign.
we'll always have buffalo, sweet josh.

-mtice

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SLSS
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by SLSS » Sun Nov 16, 2014 4:30 pm

austrotard wrote:
…... the inuit blood in my veins.
I knew it. :coffee
It's lime the battles between sperm whales and giant squid half a mile below the surface of the ocean. Only it happens in the palm I your hand.- thndr

when I fall, I am still cold and wet, but much more stylishly dressed. as my hat disappears in the riffle- flybug.pa


"Sugar? No thank you Turkish, I'm sweet enough."

Heero[CntRmbrPwd]
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by Heero[CntRmbrPwd] » Sun Nov 16, 2014 5:16 pm

Like Mitch, my estrogen levels are too high to grow a proper beard.

Heero[CntRmbrPwd]
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by Heero[CntRmbrPwd] » Sun Nov 16, 2014 5:16 pm

Wait...

Damnit, I hope no one reads my last post.

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Randall Dee
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by Randall Dee » Sun Nov 16, 2014 6:02 pm

Damn Spud, it sounds like you've spent quite a bit of time thinking about what kind of men you find attractive.

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BigTimber
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by BigTimber » Sun Nov 16, 2014 7:33 pm

Spud, I'm only 41, but I think like your third reason. It may be shitty. I don't know. I don't care. No one's the balls to tell me yet. But I have one cuz I hate shaving and do the absolute minimum of trimming and grooming. Some of these guys, I swear spend more time trimming and grooming the beard than most women spend on their hair.
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Heero[CntRmbrPwd]
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by Heero[CntRmbrPwd] » Sun Nov 16, 2014 8:13 pm

One thing about a beard is that if your slightly tubby or even really rotund the beard help to hide all your chins. So thats another reason people might do it -- its helps to at least mask that rather than having a clearly defined chin there is just a smooth transition from face to neck, a homogeneous neck-face if you will.

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Lando
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by Lando » Sun Nov 16, 2014 9:04 pm

Lazy, warm, and what Heero said.
If my tombstone reads, "He never ate sushi." it won't be a lie, and I'll be OK with that.

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