Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

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Spudnik
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by Spudnik » Sun Nov 16, 2014 10:55 pm

Randall Dee wrote:Damn Spud, it sounds like you've spent quite a bit of time thinking about what kind of men you find attractive.

You got a beard? I bet you look pretty with a beard.

I know a girl who has to wax her upper lip at least once a week. Never seen her naked, but I bet I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.
"Do you think it is real? I bet it is hard and soft, like hard muscle but really smooth skin. I bet it is real nice." - midstream

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CarelessEthiopian
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by CarelessEthiopian » Sun Nov 16, 2014 10:58 pm

SLSS wrote:
I find beards are a lot like cowboy hats.
Yes, but at least I know I look like an asshole in my cowboy hat and flip flops. And I wear it to the rodeo, too.

One should not have a beard simply because he thinks it's cool to have a beard. Function and laziness is foremost.

Just now, I shoveled the walk and deck, then hitched up the boat. It's about 6 degrees outside. My face was not cold.
boy in long pants

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Randall Dee
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by Randall Dee » Mon Nov 17, 2014 12:10 am

Spudnik wrote: You got a beard? I bet you look pretty with a beard.
No beard. But, I'm a beauty either way.

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austrotard
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by austrotard » Mon Nov 17, 2014 2:53 am

Heero[CntRmbrPwd] wrote:One thing about a beard is that if your slightly tubby or even really rotund the beard help to hide all your chins. So thats another reason people might do it -- its helps to at least mask that rather than having a clearly defined chin there is just a smooth transition from face to neck, a homogeneous neck-face if you will.
fuck you.

fuck you all to hell.
we'll always have buffalo, sweet josh.

-mtice

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Surly
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by Surly » Mon Nov 17, 2014 8:28 am

Each year I get the great idea to grow a beard. My wife tolerates it for a couple of weeks, then makes me look in the mirror and tells me I look like I've caught mange. Then I go back to shaving.

I have beard envy...
"If the trout are lost, smash the State." Thomas McGuane

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SLSS
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by SLSS » Mon Nov 17, 2014 9:11 am

CarelessEthiopian wrote:
SLSS wrote:
I find beards are a lot like cowboy hats.
Function and laziness is foremost.
Completely agree. (can you tell I filled out a survey last night?)

As to my cowboy hat remark- I've owned 4, all moved along now. I can't get past feeling like a poser- or poseur, for the original subjects of this thread. My uncles were cowboys. In OR. I live in NY, and I'm an artist.

NY artist wearing a cowboy hat. Hmmm…… I don't think i want to be that guy.

And Surly, everyone but my silver back brother in law (who grows a 4 in beard overnight while he sleeps), looks like they have mange the first two weeks. That's why the best fishing trips are at least two weeks long- by the time you get home, it's enough to get through another week, by which time, your wife can see hope in it.
It's lime the battles between sperm whales and giant squid half a mile below the surface of the ocean. Only it happens in the palm I your hand.- thndr

when I fall, I am still cold and wet, but much more stylishly dressed. as my hat disappears in the riffle- flybug.pa


"Sugar? No thank you Turkish, I'm sweet enough."

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pbrstreetgang
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by pbrstreetgang » Mon Nov 17, 2014 4:52 pm

austrotard wrote:
Heero[CntRmbrPwd] wrote:One thing about a beard is that if your slightly tubby or even really rotund the beard help to hide all your chins. So thats another reason people might do it -- its helps to at least mask that rather than having a clearly defined chin there is just a smooth transition from face to neck, a homogeneous neck-face if you will.
fuck you.

fuck you all to hell.
the proper term is "chineck"

anyone that feels they need to justify a beard probably cares too much what some internet fucko thinks. I'm 46, and you can all rot in Hell, you baldfaced dbags...
Everybody knows this is nowhere...

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FormerlyChaseChrome
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by FormerlyChaseChrome » Mon Nov 17, 2014 7:59 pm

pbrstreetgang wrote:
austrotard wrote:
Heero[CntRmbrPwd] wrote:One thing about a beard is that if your slightly tubby or even really rotund the beard help to hide all your chins. So thats another reason people might do it -- its helps to at least mask that rather than having a clearly defined chin there is just a smooth transition from face to neck, a homogeneous neck-face if you will.
fuck you.

fuck you all to hell.
the proper term is "chineck"

anyone that feels they need to justify a beard probably cares too much what some internet fucko thinks. I'm 46, and you can all rot in Hell, you baldfaced dbags...
^^yep^^
And thusly concluded...

Heero[CntRmbrPwd]
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by Heero[CntRmbrPwd] » Mon Nov 17, 2014 9:04 pm

I am imagining a Seinfeld-like scene in the vein of the episode where Elaine's boyfriend who has been shaving his head for years decided to grow hair only to find out he is balding. Only, instead of finding out youve begun balding you shave your beard only to find out you have 3 chins more than you last remember. Seinfeld really does apply to everything, I think.
Last edited by Heero[CntRmbrPwd] on Mon Nov 17, 2014 9:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Lando
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by Lando » Mon Nov 17, 2014 9:07 pm

Oh, and one time my son asked me to grow a beard while he was away at basic training.
If my tombstone reads, "He never ate sushi." it won't be a lie, and I'll be OK with that.

~Average Joe

Heero[CntRmbrPwd]
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by Heero[CntRmbrPwd] » Mon Nov 17, 2014 9:08 pm

Wait, he joined the military? When did this happen, I thought he still had another year of high school. Well good for him.

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Lando
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Re: Can we address the elephant in the room, please?

Post by Lando » Mon Nov 17, 2014 10:27 pm

He joined the Army National Guard as a "split-shifter." He did his basic training in between his jr. and senior year, and will do his AIT next summer.
If my tombstone reads, "He never ate sushi." it won't be a lie, and I'll be OK with that.

~Average Joe

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