[austrotard]

how the fuck would I know.


seriously though. fuck knows.
I'm too busy watching united get their ass handed to them.

[austrotard]

"it's rush. you were warned."
'it's okay... I like rush.'
"poof."

[pxatim]

"Is this the frog leg ice or the regular ice"

[fly-chucker]

Hanging out at Meatwad's brewpub
PBR ranting on about hipsters: ...and wearing skinny jeans that are so tight you can see the pulse in their cock through them.
Big Guy: Well, get off your damn knees then.
PBR: absolute stunned silence (1st time ever I think)
FredA, Fly-chucker, and a pair of lurkers: unable to breath, tears rolling down the face with laughter.

[austrotard]

PBR: absolute stunned silence

cool story, bro.




topical @ flylife camp:

'fuck me, mtice... they said you were butt ugly but you're actually fucking gorgeous. are you gay?'
"I am now."

[Average Joe]

Jose: "So what do you do for a living?"

Ian: "I'm an engineer."

Jose: "Civil?"

Ian: "Uh... yeah."

.....................................................

Lando, after we convinced Hagen to come fish with us instead of joining his family in Hawaii: "We are now victims of our own success."

.....................................................

Hagen on the phone: "Get me three 30 packs of PBR."

Jose enters the liquor store and finds they only have twelve packs.

He purchases six of them.

Checkout girl: "Are you having a party?"

Jose: "No."

Checkout girl: "Wow! And I thought I drank a lot!"

Checkout girl helps Jose carry the beer to the truck.

She overhears Lando talking to Hagen.

Lando to Hagen: "All they had were twelve packs. We got you six. Will that be enough?"

Hagen: "Seventy-two will have to do."

Jose goes back inside and buys an eighteen pack of Budweiser.

Checkout girl: "Is this for the same guy?"

Jose: "No. This is for me."

Checkout girl: "I see you like the good stuff."

............................................................

Jose and FishSkiBum are the first to arrive at the restaurant.

The waitress asks if they'd like something to drink.

The restaurant only serves beer and wine.

Jose: "I'll have a beer."

FSB: "I'll have a Coke."

Waitress: "We don't have Coke. Is Pepsi OK?"

FSB: "Sure."

Waitress brings a beer and a Pepsi.

FSB pours out three fingers of Pepsi and then pulls a bottle of rum from his pocket and tops off his glass.

FSB, to no one in particular: "Not my problem that they don't have a liquor license."

.......................................................................

FSB: "So I went into REI to return something, and when the manager told me he wouldn't allow it, I told him that his definition of 100% customer satisfaction obviously wasn't the same as mine, and that unless he wanted to lend me a pair of scissors so that I could cut up my card right there in front of him, he should maybe go and find another manager who understands the definition of 100% customer satisfaction."

.......................................................................

Jose: "There was no sleep in Cabin 6 last night. And I don't mean that in a good way."

.........................................................................

Jose to Lando: "Pull over! Now!"

Lando: "What's wrong?"

Jose: "I'm about to shit my pants!"

Lando: "That's because you had chicken fried steak for breakfast. We call that "Doing the Mitch Thing."

...........................................................................

[austrotard]

fucking yes.
I believe my pb was eight.

towards the end I also believe my ass was just yelling 'pbpbpbpbpbpfuckyeah!'
true story.




relates:
when someone tells me they're an engineer (wait 5min) I always say I'd love to drive a train and then do a "toot toot!", pulling at an imaginary toot toot thing. (I've always assumed it's up here by my ear)
one day I'll meet a sapper and stop doing that.

[Average Joe]

"Holy shit man, you fucking reek of brandy."

"It's a new cologne I'm working on. I call it Hobo Spice. Can also be used as mouthwash if you forget your toothbrush."

[pxatim]

"Hey man do you care if I drive your truck"?

"Have you been drinking"?

"A few beers but I haven't done any shots..."

"Dude.. I just watched you gargle brandy"

[austrotard]

yesterday. austrian style.

"so is this a real story or is this like when you and the cc ran into fidel castro?"

[Average Joe]

yesterday. austrian style.

"so is this a real story or is this like when you and the cc ran into fidel castro?"

The fella who asked you that knows you quite well.

[ironman]

It's your standard 8 ounce pour - Timo

Measured - AJ