All threads that bitch about new, existing, or old members will be posted/relocated here. Keep this shit off the General forum, because no one wants (or cares) to hear your opinions. Now go back to the other forums and post something worthy of reading.
User avatar
By fly-chucker
#685936
Hanging out at Meatwad's brewpub :cool
PBR ranting on about hipsters: ...and wearing skinny jeans that are so tight you can see the pulse in their cock through them.
Big Guy: Well, get off your damn knees then.
PBR: absolute stunned silence (1st time ever I think)
FredA, Fly-chucker, and a pair of lurkers: unable to breath, tears rolling down the face with laughter. :cool
User avatar
By austrotard
#685940
fly-chucker wrote: Mon Mar 19, 2018 7:38 pm
PBR: absolute stunned silence
cool story, bro.




topical @ flylife camp:

'fuck me, mtice... they said you were butt ugly but you're actually fucking gorgeous. are you gay?'
"I am now."
User avatar
By Average Joe
#686435
Jose: "So what do you do for a living?"

Ian: "I'm an engineer."

Jose: "Civil?"

Ian: "Uh... yeah."

.....................................................

Lando, after we convinced Hagen to come fish with us instead of joining his family in Hawaii: "We are now victims of our own success."

.....................................................

Hagen on the phone: "Get me three 30 packs of PBR."

Jose enters the liquor store and finds they only have twelve packs.

He purchases six of them.

Checkout girl: "Are you having a party?"

Jose: "No."

Checkout girl: "Wow! And I thought I drank a lot!"

Checkout girl helps Jose carry the beer to the truck.

She overhears Lando talking to Hagen.

Lando to Hagen: "All they had were twelve packs. We got you six. Will that be enough?"

Hagen: "Seventy-two will have to do."

Jose goes back inside and buys an eighteen pack of Budweiser.

Checkout girl: "Is this for the same guy?"

Jose: "No. This is for me."

Checkout girl: "I see you like the good stuff."

............................................................

Jose and FishSkiBum are the first to arrive at the restaurant.

The waitress asks if they'd like something to drink.

The restaurant only serves beer and wine.

Jose: "I'll have a beer."

FSB: "I'll have a Coke."

Waitress: "We don't have Coke. Is Pepsi OK?"

FSB: "Sure."

Waitress brings a beer and a Pepsi.

FSB pours out three fingers of Pepsi and then pulls a bottle of rum from his pocket and tops off his glass.

FSB, to no one in particular: "Not my problem that they don't have a liquor license."

.......................................................................

FSB: "So I went into REI to return something, and when the manager told me he wouldn't allow it, I told him that his definition of 100% customer satisfaction obviously wasn't the same as mine, and that unless he wanted to lend me a pair of scissors so that I could cut up my card right there in front of him, he should maybe go and find another manager who understands the definition of 100% customer satisfaction."

.......................................................................

Jose: "There was no sleep in Cabin 6 last night. And I don't mean that in a good way."

.........................................................................

Jose to Lando: "Pull over! Now!"

Lando: "What's wrong?"

Jose: "I'm about to shit my pants!"

Lando: "That's because you had chicken fried steak for breakfast. We call that "Doing the Mitch Thing."

...........................................................................
User avatar
By austrotard
#686437
fucking yes.
I believe my pb was eight.

towards the end I also believe my ass was just yelling 'pbpbpbpbpbpfuckyeah!'
true story.




relates:
when someone tells me they're an engineer (wait 5min) I always say I'd love to drive a train and then do a "toot toot!", pulling at an imaginary toot toot thing. (I've always assumed it's up here by my ear)
one day I'll meet a sapper and stop doing that.
User avatar
By pxatim
#687420
"Hey man do you care if I drive your truck"?

"Have you been drinking"?

"A few beers but I haven't done any shots..."

"Dude.. I just watched you gargle brandy"
User avatar
By ironman
#687963
It's your standard 8 ounce pour - Timo

Measured - AJ
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