All threads that bitch about new, existing, or old members will be posted/relocated here. Keep this shit off the General forum, because no one wants (or cares) to hear your opinions. Now go back to the other forums and post something worthy of reading.
User avatar
By austrotard
mitch: well I'll tell you something for nothing... I shan't be fighting anyone this weekend.

porno: fuck me. ha ha ha. did he just say shan't?

don: I believe he did. ha ha.

mitch: we could always fight about it.
User avatar
By Ramcatt
wife: oh purple carrots

mitch: yeah the girls love them

porno: ha purple carrots... like a BIG BLACK DICK
User avatar
By austrotard
porno: okay mitch, this is my wife.

mitch: evening, love... [/cheek kiss]

porno: whoa! easy there, maaate! see? this is what I'm fucking talking about. okay. that's enough. you can go back inside now... you're not to see this man again. suave austrian bastard.

mitch: hee hee... told you so.
User avatar
By fallen513
Neighbors: "Hi guys! Where are you from? Is that 21 year old Scotch?!"

A-Team: "It is mate, but wait until you try this here Malort…"

*lights out, exit stage left*
User avatar
By fallen513
porno: "you want to help us come get some wood man?"
513: "i might sit this one out bro."
User avatar
Mitch: I've lost it. Brown bottle and a white top. Porno, you have it right?
Porno: (chuckles)

You cunts don't see us here, right?
User avatar
By austrotard
porno: hey, don. how's this? when mitch was little he went out for hallowe'en as the fonz.

don: hee hee... that's gay. arthur fonzarelli.

porno: hey mitch! aaaaaay! bwahahaha... aaaaaay! fucking fonzarelli.

mitch: shut up, mate.

porno: bwahahaha..... aaaaaay, maaate!

mitch: this other time I went as peter criss.

porno: oh, christ... shut up, man.... you're killing me.
User avatar
By blumpkin
austrotard wrote:mitch: where the fuck is blummers?

ironman: he went home.

mitch: what the fuck do you mean he went home?

ironman: he hung around for two hours waiting for you. he had to work.

mitch: so wait... he hung about here just to say hello?

ironman: yep.

mitch: oh, for fucks sake... if I knew he was just going to fuck off I would've spent more time with him. I kinda shrugged him off as I thought I'd see him later. now I feel like a dick.

ironman: shit. sorry. I thought you knew.

mitch: he was looking quite trim, mind. half the lad I met four years ago. looked like he had the cancer flu.

fatman: hee hee... as you do.
I don't have cancer... I am a cancer.
Was great to see you Mitch

If I would have hung out for 15 more minutes, I would have stayed all weekend.
And Cleveland is depressing enough without getting canned.
User avatar
By austrotard
hpff: damn... this is one pretty spot.

fatman: yes it is. see those trees up there sticking out of the cliff face?.. nick reckons they're about 400 years old.

mitch: he probably planted them.
User avatar
By austrotard
mitch: so am I going to buy a license I'm able to use twice?

peebs: not if I can help it. today we go to ohio.

mitch: well that's just great, hey.
User avatar
By austrotard
mitch: so I'd like to be somewhere with reception at ?pm so I can ring my family. I haven't spoken to them in a little while... like five days or some shit.

don/peebs/porno/slss/'yard: sure. no worries.

mitch: oh... and I'd like to use your phone.

don/peebs/porno/slss/'yard: umm. all right then.

mitch: cool. all you need to do now is remind me.

don/peebs/porno/slss/'yard: hey, mitch... it's that time.

mitch: whew. I'm pretty fucked up. perhaps we'll do it tomorrow.
User avatar
By fatman
mitch: I'll have a turkey bacon club croissant and a small coffee

Tim Horton's drive-thru waitress: that'll be $8.65

mitch: thanks, love. Now, who has $8.65?
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 26
Luau 2021

I'm going.

Friday Cheer Through Pics

06-28-20-52300 copy.jpg

Forest Service cabins have been on the reservation[…]

2021 Smalljaw Swap

I'm sending in a piece of marabou on a toothpi[…]

Subscribe to The Drake Magazine