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By Spudnik
#699619
After 10 years, I just finished the bottle of Wild Turkey that me and some homeboys of Ryan’s poured out for him just upstream of Buffalo Bridge on the evening of the day he killed hisself.

It wasn’t his favorite bourbon, but it was mine and he was dead, so fuck him... right?

At 10 years past, I think I’m at the point where I currently believe that cowardice shouldn’t be revered but I suppose that lives should be celebrated. Who knows - those two don’t necessarily compliment one another. Miss the guy like a brother, but you ain’t never going to change the fact that poor decisions lead to poor outcomes. His son was the true travesty in all of this. The example he set - that the easy way out is an option - is just a piss-poor example to set. Simple as that.

Maybe it’s a fault of mine, but I find myself just caring less about the people who’ve gone through shit like this. This world is full of people who fight and struggle to survive and love and thrive and give back everyday. There’s no doubt that my perception of life is changing with the way the world is right now, but I just can’t find the time or the empathy in my soul to really care about the quitters and the complainers and the losers. Do people really, truly believe that it is that much harder for them than it is for their neighbors? You’re just the person who can’t cope with the struggle. Don’t be that guy, don’t use the mental health excuses that have become all too convenient, don’t be the quitter when it gets harder today than it was yesterday. Nobody is saying that it’s easy, but it clearly isn’t supposed to be. Ryan would still be alive today if he adopted the mindset that “Yeah, life wis hard“... but it was probably harder for the old widow living across the street or the family of 5 with barely enough food and anything he could do to brighten their days and make their lives better would help ease his struggles. But, woe is me. When you’re own self-pity consumes you and every thought is a selfish one and you think that you have it harder than everyone else, this is what you get - A fucking cold grave and a bunch of strangers tipping meaningless glasses of shitty booze to your memory.

Fuck self-pity, fuck depression, and fuck excuses. Work is work, whether it’s physical or on your mind, and there is no substitute on this good green Earth for putting forth an honest effort. Make life better for your family, for your neighbors, for your friends, and for strangers... and it can only get better for you. If you choose not to make that effort, I don’t see a single fucking reason why anyone should waste an ounce of time on it other than to make an example of exactly how not to go about living a good life.
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By Da Ax
#699620
Spud,

I get what you are saying. It's all about choice, I believe. There are those we can look at and say that they gave up....but what they really lost was hope...or the ability to recognize hope. Sometimes, reaching out to get help is absolutely the hardest thing someone can do. I try not to burden myself with shit like "what might have been", but I am haunted by those that I love, care for, or perhaps only "like" who I see that need help and feel helpless to do anything. Life is rife with things that hurt and is a bastard challenge. We can choose to turn our back and forget those who jumped off or we can turn that into something that can help.

I don't say any of this because I knew someone who jumped off or anything. I just have an interest in what makes people do shit that they do...even that. But, getting drunk or fighting with someone or anything else is nothing compared to suicide done successfully. There is no coming back from that. And someone must be in a hard, dark place to think that. Yes, it's cowardly from a distance, but we can never live in other's heads nor actually walk in their shoes. Some may try, but we never can feel what others feel.

Not a sermon, just a thought.
By Jed
#699621
I don't view suicide as quitting. I had a friend who after many years of fighting depression and alcoholism killed himself. He too was an awesome individual. But depression with alcoholism causes great pain. Mental pain in this case but true unending pain and if we can justify euthanasia for cancer or other debilitating illnesses I think we also need to think that taking ones life to end unending pain can be a legitimate choice. Lance died in 2001 and I still grieve for his loss but I have come to understand his situation and don't hold his choice against him (if you can do that for someone who is dead). You now what I mean.

jed
User avatar
By V Wake
#699623
There’s no wrong feeling when it comes to suicide. That being said it’s something that men and women much stronger than me struggle with. It’s also something that weak people see as a way out. It’s also contagious. And fucked up beyond comprehension. Some people live through their attempts and cling to every precious second afterward, but don’t think for a second that you’re immune. This life will fuck you up in a heartbeat. And if it can’t then maybe you’re not really alive.
I never knew Ryan but I’d bet he’s someone that made you feel like an instant friend and the boat rock with laughter.
By Noodledick
#699624
Life is about choices, and often, poor choices lead to dreadful circumstances. Anyone who has children, and takes their own life is a selfish cunty asshole according to my wife. Her old man left world when she was just over knee high. Men take beatings on the chin. Pussies drink booze.
User avatar
By badnots
#699769
Spudnik wrote: Mon Jul 13, 2020 12:56 am After 10 years, I just finished the bottle of Wild Turkey that me and some homeboys of Ryan’s poured out for him just upstream of Buffalo Bridge on the evening of the day he killed hisself.

It wasn’t his favorite bourbon, but it was mine and he was dead, so fuck him... right?

At 10 years past, I think I’m at the point where I currently believe that cowardice shouldn’t be revered but I suppose that lives should be celebrated. Who knows - those two don’t necessarily compliment one another. Miss the guy like a brother, but you ain’t never going to change the fact that poor decisions lead to poor outcomes. His son was the true travesty in all of this. The example he set - that the easy way out is an option - is just a piss-poor example to set. Simple as that.

Maybe it’s a fault of mine, but I find myself just caring less about the people who’ve gone through shit like this. This world is full of people who fight and struggle to survive and love and thrive and give back everyday. There’s no doubt that my perception of life is changing with the way the world is right now, but I just can’t find the time or the empathy in my soul to really care about the quitters and the complainers and the losers. Do people really, truly believe that it is that much harder for them than it is for their neighbors? You’re just the person who can’t cope with the struggle. Don’t be that guy, don’t use the mental health excuses that have become all too convenient, don’t be the quitter when it gets harder today than it was yesterday. Nobody is saying that it’s easy, but it clearly isn’t supposed to be. Ryan would still be alive today if he adopted the mindset that “Yeah, life wis hard“... but it was probably harder for the old widow living across the street or the family of 5 with barely enough food and anything he could do to brighten their days and make their lives better would help ease his struggles. But, woe is me. When you’re own self-pity consumes you and every thought is a selfish one and you think that you have it harder than everyone else, this is what you get - A fucking cold grave and a bunch of strangers tipping meaningless glasses of shitty booze to your memory.

Fuck self-pity, fuck depression, and fuck excuses. Work is work, whether it’s physical or on your mind, and there is no substitute on this good green Earth for putting forth an honest effort. Make life better for your family, for your neighbors, for your friends, and for strangers... and it can only get better for you. If you choose not to make that effort, I don’t see a single fucking reason why anyone should waste an ounce of time on it other than to make an example of exactly how not to go about living a good life.
You suppose Ryans family maybe checks this thread occasionally as it's become a memorial of sorts ?
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:cool I concur with WB :cool

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