user's guide to
"There’s an Italian expression: “hai fatto una frittata,”which loosely translated means: you’ve made quite a mess—or a sequence of mistakes."
- some mumpy cunt on a website
A good (read: Oven-proof) saute pan
A source of heat (stovetop AND oven, or reasonable facsimiles thereof)
A few eggs - 4 is good for 2 normal folk.
Optional and safe ingredients
Salt n Pepper
Bacon or breakfast meat of your choice
Flat leaf parsley
Some shit you can work into a Frittata to impress the chicks
Chives or green onions if you don't want to give up "Peasant" status
Corn chips c'mon, holmes...migas
To make a frittata, one has to answer a pair of essential, existential questions, to wit-
Am I here to make a breakfast experience?
Am I a lazy motherfucker in need of food and possibly some "post-date" cred
Fortunately for us, the answers to these two questions are not mutually exclusive, and are often very complimentary - case in point: Post-holiday morning at the in-law's, a temporal and spatial plane of existence that occasionally knows no bounds of awkwardness and can temporarily suspend and transcend modern modes of communication that allow a "not-quite-family-member" to (mostly)
absolve a pickled previous evening with a nice morning after...
At any rate, let us get our frittata on.
As previously alluded to, the frittata is a somewhat rustic, working-class breakfast of Italian origin. Like quite a few things Italian and working-class, it can be viewed as either a beatifully artistic simplification or merely a lazy dodge in an effort to get by...we'll let y'all be the judge on that.
[editor's note - our video card has apparently taken a shit mid-swedge, so to speak...there will be only one photo accoutrement to this recipe -luckily for us, it is a money shot-
Begin by rummaging through the fridge for a few starches and a protein, as well as some late-process greens, some aromatics, and a bridge flavor or two. Make sure you have a few eggs handy, and while you are at it, check your seasonings availability.
Brown a starch or two, then saute your protein. While you are at it, heat your oven to a robust 450° and set a rack near the broiler.
In the interstitial time, chop your aromatics and prep your cheeses and bridge flavors. This is also a good time to beat the shit outta a few eggs and add the sour cream directly to that frothy goodness.
When the oven achieves hotness, homogenize your base constituents in the pan and add the egg/sour cream goodness. Add the cheese product of your choice, and salt / pepper to taste. We're still on the stove-top at this point, so swirl the pan gently a few times to ensure maximum egg exposure. When the egg starts to set on the bottom, add the aromatics then slap that shit in the now-hot oven.
Once in the oven, give the frittata a few minutes to do its thing - 4 or 5 minutes of alone time, say. Peek in after 5 minutes to make sure it is browning properly. If it isn't, consider firing up the broiler and escalating the situation.
As it puffs and browns, watch for the "magic minute" - it will look juuust-about-done for a few seconds, then shit can go south rather rapidly after that.
For illustrative purposes, here is a potato / roasted garlic / ham / feta / asiago / olive oil frittata in its restive state.
Yank it out before the brownout, divide into eatin'-size sections, and serve.
Happy New Year, Motherfuckers