"Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

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Hogleg
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"Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by Hogleg » Sun Aug 23, 2015 10:25 pm

I'm surprised this hasn't happened before but, it hasn't, so fuck it- here we are.

This will pretty much run like a fly swap I guess with me hosting but it's the first time around so there are some unknowns and some ins-and-outs and what have yous to figure out. So bear with me- we'll make up the rules as we go along.

Seems like a bunch of fuckers think their Jerky is the shit and we need to decide, once and for all, whose shit is the best. At the very least a few of us will engage in an orgasmic jerk off event.

So sign up here if you think you're a contender in the Jerky making category.

I think we should cap it at the first twelve jerkers who chime in. I'm thinking we each send 11 solidly filled quart sized ziplock bags (or the vacuumed packed equivalent) each. Weight will be variable so lets go with a ball-park volume of a quart-sized ziplock bag.

Due date here has to be fairly critical due to several variables, not the least of which is spoiling depending upon how the jerked meat is prepared and preserved, so no fucking around.

I'm open for suggestions here but I figure that most major big-game hunting seasons across the country should be over by mid Decemberish. So I'll set the due date for this Jerk Off to be January 2nd. That should give everyone a least two weeks to harvest, jerk and ship. Western bowhunters and some others will have to freeze their meat before jerking off but that's just how it is.

I'll do my best to get everything shipped back out to everyone within a week of that due date. After that maybe we'll vote or something.

Again, open for suggestions here, but I figure any fair killed big game meat and any marinade/rub or method of jerking off will suffice. Just make sure it won't spoil within a month of shipping or make anyone sick. Vacuumed packing obviously preferred but will accept tightly wrapped/sealed ziplock packages.

Write your name on the bags and send $ for shipping back along with your address.

Anything else I've forgotten?

The Twelve Phtheven:

1. Me- DONE
2. Rammers- NO WORD
3.Genome OUT
4. Snuffbox- RECEIVED
5. KP OUT
6. Fatman- RECEIVED
7. Fallen Brayshaw- NO WORD
8. Woven- RECEIVED
9.*BM Average Jose- RECEIVED
10. Pxatim- RECEIVED
11. Londa- RECEIVED
12. _9er- MIA

*No cheating with bacon wrapped varmints.
Last edited by Hogleg on Tue Feb 23, 2016 6:08 pm, edited 11 times in total.
"girls with eating disorders will usually let you come in there in butt." -Jhnnythndr
"...my grandmother’s Tang always tasted like rusty water and dirty socks." - Average Joe
"with some limited exceptions steelhead live where the lady selection is sparce." - MTG

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fatman
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by fatman » Sun Aug 23, 2015 10:29 pm

so is this a Juried event or just a swap?

Our rifle season is first week December, antlerless first week in January. FWIW.
I'm guessin' it's worth Jack Shit.
My drinkin' days are over; I'm still trouble bound - Slaid Cleaves

"This place is so fucked up. Where else could you find a thread with a Debbie Gibson song, a chapter from Fyodor Dostoevsky, and a sweet under boob pic like that on the same page?" - Hogleg

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Hogleg
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by Hogleg » Sun Aug 23, 2015 10:41 pm

Let's call it a swap with impressions and commentary to follow.

We can push the date out depending on everyone's seasons, I just took a stab at it based on my local.

End of January work for everyone?
"girls with eating disorders will usually let you come in there in butt." -Jhnnythndr
"...my grandmother’s Tang always tasted like rusty water and dirty socks." - Average Joe
"with some limited exceptions steelhead live where the lady selection is sparce." - MTG

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fatman
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by fatman » Sun Aug 23, 2015 10:45 pm

Hogleg wrote:End of January work for everyone?
that helps, thx :cool
My drinkin' days are over; I'm still trouble bound - Slaid Cleaves

"This place is so fucked up. Where else could you find a thread with a Debbie Gibson song, a chapter from Fyodor Dostoevsky, and a sweet under boob pic like that on the same page?" - Hogleg

"You may not be smart, but your car gets good gas mileage". - Stovetop

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fallen513
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by fallen513 » Sun Aug 23, 2015 10:52 pm

In. Fuck it. I have no idea what I'm doing.


Kind of like the spey swap.

Hope you all like my "special sauce".
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austrotard
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by austrotard » Sun Aug 23, 2015 11:20 pm

roo jerky?
I cannae take part in starting this and then quitting. sorry.

disclaimeroos: cunts with borders, hey.
we'll always have buffalo, sweet josh.

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Lando
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by Lando » Mon Aug 24, 2015 7:56 am

I'll judge. Just send me the jerky and I'll sample it all and decide which is best. Deal? Deal. I believe you have my address already.
If my tombstone reads, "He never ate sushi." it won't be a lie, and I'll be OK with that.

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B.M. Barrelcooker
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by B.M. Barrelcooker » Mon Aug 24, 2015 9:13 am

I'm on the fence........might try some exotic furbearers to flaten into jerky but i'm just not sure.

how ya'll think rabbit would do?
"worst that can happen is a big fat zero and a fine walk out of doors"---Chadroc

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austrotard
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by austrotard » Mon Aug 24, 2015 9:26 am

depends if it can lift a hammer.


[/da-aad.]
we'll always have buffalo, sweet josh.

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pbrstreetgang
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by pbrstreetgang » Mon Aug 24, 2015 3:51 pm

platypus jerky...mmm
Everybody knows this is nowhere...

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pxatim
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by pxatim » Mon Aug 24, 2015 5:51 pm

Our extended muzzleloader season runs to the second Saturday in January if you can bump the date back a week or two that would be greatttttt.

In.

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pxatim
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by pxatim » Mon Aug 24, 2015 5:55 pm

Novelty item should probably be bowie knives or coon skin caps..just sayin

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