"Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

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Hogleg
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by Hogleg » Tue Feb 23, 2016 6:16 pm

All participant's jerkings have been received just six short days after the due date, must be some kind of record. Thanks to the Phtheven of you that came though and a special thanks to AJ for stepping up on short notice.

I'll do my damndest to ship everything out by Saturday but I forgot to write down all the return shipping addresses off the packages. So shoot me a PM or text with your return shipping addresses please.
"girls with eating disorders will usually let you come in there in butt." -Jhnnythndr
"...my grandmother’s Tang always tasted like rusty water and dirty socks." - Average Joe
"with some limited exceptions steelhead live where the lady selection is sparce." - MTG

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Hogleg
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by Hogleg » Tue Feb 23, 2016 8:23 pm

[report]Nice looking pile of goodness here:

jerk 3 (1280x1000).jpg
jerk 3 (1280x1000).jpg (981.65 KiB) Viewed 1425 times
[/report]
"girls with eating disorders will usually let you come in there in butt." -Jhnnythndr
"...my grandmother’s Tang always tasted like rusty water and dirty socks." - Average Joe
"with some limited exceptions steelhead live where the lady selection is sparce." - MTG

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Lando
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by Lando » Tue Feb 23, 2016 9:38 pm

Just hold mine until Tax Day.
If my tombstone reads, "He never ate sushi." it won't be a lie, and I'll be OK with that.

~Average Joe

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Hogleg
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by Hogleg » Wed Feb 24, 2016 12:18 am

[report]I had a few cocktails, washed my dirty cabbage collectors real good, sanitized the countertops, put on some exam gloves and dove right into that beautiful dried meat pile tonight fellas.

I have to admit that I was very tempted to just eat it all myself in one sitting. Instead I just licked all of the individual pieces real good before placing them ever so carefully into the shipping bags.

Anyhoo, soon as I have return addresses it all comes to you (kindly and gently licked).

Maybe once you all receive your respective packages from the Drakian Jerk Off V1 you could reply back here to this chat room with your impressions of the works of each artisan.

I've sampled and licked them all and can honestly say that there is no clear winner in my opinion- they each have their own Je Ne Sais Quoi. Another way to say it is that there is some God damned good fucking jerky in this swap fellas.

Then again, this is merely an exhibition, not a competition- no wagering please.

Relates: I might have taken an excessive sticker dump.
JERK 4 (1280x1280).jpg
JERK 4 (1280x1280).jpg (1.05 MiB) Viewed 1410 times
[/report]
"girls with eating disorders will usually let you come in there in butt." -Jhnnythndr
"...my grandmother’s Tang always tasted like rusty water and dirty socks." - Average Joe
"with some limited exceptions steelhead live where the lady selection is sparce." - MTG

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fatman
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by fatman » Wed Feb 24, 2016 9:12 am

Xtra points for AFT :smile
My drinkin' days are over; I'm still trouble bound - Slaid Cleaves

"This place is so fucked up. Where else could you find a thread with a Debbie Gibson song, a chapter from Fyodor Dostoevsky, and a sweet under boob pic like that on the same page?" - Hogleg

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Woolybug25
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by Woolybug25 » Wed Feb 24, 2016 1:51 pm

This required a lot of dedication. Color me impressed, fellas. :cool
"All mountain hippies are as young as they day they were born, smarter than Einstein, better looking than Tom Selleck and could outfish an army of pinners." - foureyedgeek

www.hiptothesip.blogspot.com

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FormerlyChaseChrome
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by FormerlyChaseChrome » Wed Feb 24, 2016 5:18 pm

"B@ttfucked soul" I suspect will be much like you all contracting hep C from Hog licking all your jerkies...

Damn fine project there lads...
Can't wait for the reports...
:cool

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Woolybug25
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by Woolybug25 » Wed Feb 24, 2016 8:40 pm

I have to say though... The "dick blood and tears" sticker is a little disturbing. I guess I would have to see the entire sticker, but I'm not really seeing the humor there.
"All mountain hippies are as young as they day they were born, smarter than Einstein, better looking than Tom Selleck and could outfish an army of pinners." - foureyedgeek

www.hiptothesip.blogspot.com

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pxatim
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by pxatim » Wed Feb 24, 2016 8:41 pm

It depends... is it dick, blood and tears

Or dick blood, and tears

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Woolybug25
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by Woolybug25 » Wed Feb 24, 2016 8:55 pm

pxatim wrote:It depends... is it dick, blood and tears

Or dick blood, and tears
I'm pretty sure those are the same scenario, just pre vs post. Ha.
"All mountain hippies are as young as they day they were born, smarter than Einstein, better looking than Tom Selleck and could outfish an army of pinners." - foureyedgeek

www.hiptothesip.blogspot.com

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pxatim
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by pxatim » Wed Feb 24, 2016 9:11 pm

Woolybug25 wrote:
pxatim wrote:It depends... is it dick, blood and tears

Or dick blood, and tears
I'm pretty sure those are the same scenario, just pre vs post. Ha.
As long as it's your blood...

doesn't' make it ghey

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Average Joe
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Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by Average Joe » Wed Feb 24, 2016 9:41 pm

Before these fine products get sent out, I'd just like to state that a piece of my jerky, which will no doubt test the strength of any man's teeth, can also (in a pinch) be used as a guitar pick, or a wood biscuit, or to shim the short leg of a table or chair, should the need arise.

I'm hoping that will compensate for me not including any butt f*ck or dick blood stickers.

*(fucking 403 FORBIDDEN)

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