"Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Got something to sell? Need a job? Post your for sale ads and resumes here. IMPORTANT: this forum for non-professional posts. If you are a professional organization and would like to post your ad here, please contact us at info@drakemag.com.
User avatar
pxatim
Posts: 840
Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2010 8:26 pm
Location: Cap City
Contact:

Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by pxatim » Wed Feb 24, 2016 9:58 pm

Average Joe wrote:Before these fine products get sent out, I'd just like to state that a piece of my jerky, which will no doubt test the strength of any man's teeth, can also (in a pinch) be used as a guitar pick, or a wood biscuit, or to shim the short leg of a table or chair, should the need arise.

I'm hoping that will compensate for me not including any butt f*ck or dick blood stickers.

*(fucking 403 FORBIDDEN)
If such a piece is found.. just put it in your lower lip and savor it... all month

User avatar
Hogleg
Posts: 4060
Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 4:56 pm
Location: Over yonder

Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by Hogleg » Wed Feb 24, 2016 10:31 pm

pxatim wrote:
Average Joe wrote:Before these fine products get sent out, I'd just like to state that a piece of my jerky, which will no doubt test the strength of any man's teeth, can also (in a pinch) be used as a guitar pick, or a wood biscuit, or to shim the short leg of a table or chair, should the need arise.

I'm hoping that will compensate for me not including any butt f*ck or dick blood stickers.

*(fucking 403 FORBIDDEN)
If such a piece is found.. just put it in your lower lip and savor it... all month
Texture aside (and it's not as bad as he says) Joe's meat (unlike his grandmother's tang) would likely win the flavor explosion category.
"girls with eating disorders will usually let you come in there in butt." -Jhnnythndr
"...my grandmother’s Tang always tasted like rusty water and dirty socks." - Average Joe
"with some limited exceptions steelhead live where the lady selection is sparce." - MTG

User avatar
Hogleg
Posts: 4060
Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 4:56 pm
Location: Over yonder

Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by Hogleg » Sat Feb 27, 2016 5:23 pm

Shipped everything today. Some of the packages might even be addressed correctly. I have tracking #'s so let me know if you don't receive your package by Tuesday or Wednesday.
"girls with eating disorders will usually let you come in there in butt." -Jhnnythndr
"...my grandmother’s Tang always tasted like rusty water and dirty socks." - Average Joe
"with some limited exceptions steelhead live where the lady selection is sparce." - MTG

User avatar
wovenstonefly
Posts: 684
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:48 pm

Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by wovenstonefly » Mon Feb 29, 2016 5:45 pm

Meat showed up today, it's good stuff. Who would have guessed that a bunch of degenerates like us could have been this good at jerking.

User avatar
Average Joe
Posts: 2730
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:04 pm
Location: Where they rip out the trees and name streets after them.

Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by Average Joe » Mon Feb 29, 2016 10:12 pm

I received mine today as well: a big bag of smoky, meaty, jerky goodness, along with a handful of obscene stickers that would definitely not please Neil were he to find them plastered on the bumper of his truck.

User avatar
Hogleg
Posts: 4060
Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 4:56 pm
Location: Over yonder

Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by Hogleg » Sun Mar 06, 2016 7:35 pm

Three questions:

1) Did everyone receive their package?
l] If so, does anyone have any comments regarding the quality (or lack thereof) of anyone else's jerky?

Beuller?

Anyone?


9} Was it worth it?

Okay 4 questions:

k>) Should we do it again, make it an annual event, or was this just a big pain in the ass let-down and everyone just wants to eat and enjoy their own jerkings?

Here's my take: all of it was damned good and it was a pain to make jerky at a designated time instead of when I'd normally make it. But there was one batch that was fucking off the charts. It was either Woven's or Snuffbox's. I can't remember which unfortunately.
"girls with eating disorders will usually let you come in there in butt." -Jhnnythndr
"...my grandmother’s Tang always tasted like rusty water and dirty socks." - Average Joe
"with some limited exceptions steelhead live where the lady selection is sparce." - MTG

User avatar
K_P
Posts: 1315
Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 9:14 pm

Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by K_P » Sun Mar 06, 2016 9:47 pm



Image

User avatar
fatman
Posts: 5409
Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:17 pm
Location: where the deer and the antelope play

Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by fatman » Sun Mar 06, 2016 11:22 pm

1) got my package
{] been waiting for the "perfect time" to do a head-to-head test
9) yeah, what the fuck else was there to do in February?
k) what was the fucking question?
My drinkin' days are over; I'm still trouble bound - Slaid Cleaves

"This place is so fucked up. Where else could you find a thread with a Debbie Gibson song, a chapter from Fyodor Dostoevsky, and a sweet under boob pic like that on the same page?" - Hogleg

"You may not be smart, but your car gets good gas mileage". - Stovetop

User avatar
wovenstonefly
Posts: 684
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:48 pm

Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by wovenstonefly » Mon Mar 07, 2016 10:45 pm

I enjoyed it and would probably do it again.

Flavors were good, but my wife liked pxatim best. She thought it tasted like bacon.

User avatar
B.M. Barrelcooker
Posts: 3390
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:57 pm
Location: Aintry

Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by B.M. Barrelcooker » Tue Mar 08, 2016 7:57 am

Ok so I got some leftovers and was asked to give an honest judgement . Here goes:

Hogleg..bland but eddible.

pppxatim......solid work best of the bundle.

fatman............not bad but moldy....very moldy only got a few bites before I noticed the fuzz. From what I can tell Kansans ruin their jerky just like they do their bbbq. NO offense

AVerage Joe: very interesting....bland at first but the first good chew produces a powerful flavor that lingers for hours.......much like that old gum that had flavor juice that squirted out when you bit it.

Lando.....decent goood flavor but also lots of mold. the mold made my eyes and nose burn but I got thru it and would probably try it again.

I'm pretty sure those are the only ones I sampled.

Pxatim for the win.

my opinion only.........and my tastebuds may be just a tad bit off.
"worst that can happen is a big fat zero and a fine walk out of doors"---Chadroc

User avatar
MTgrayling
Posts: 3613
Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2009 12:33 pm
Location: ...down river from you when steelheading; releasing a whitefish above you when the trout are on...

Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by MTgrayling » Tue Mar 08, 2016 8:46 am

Dad's sliced whitetail jerky was a bake winner...

"Oh, damn that's good.

"Incredible"

No mold either. The old man has got game...
Ryan found his way out; your escape awaits...

Let there be HIGH water!

User avatar
SnuffBox
Posts: 324
Joined: Tue Jul 13, 2010 7:46 pm
Location: Between the MO and the White

Re: "Official" Drakian Jerk Off V.1

Post by SnuffBox » Tue Mar 08, 2016 5:29 pm

I would definitely do this again, if just do submit a more generous sample portion.

All had their own strengths, and I enjoyed them all. But I kept coming back to pxatims batch.

Fatman's gets marks for most authentic, rugged, and gluten free.

Image

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Hogleg and 12 guests