All threads that bitch about new, existing, or old members will be posted/relocated here. Keep this shit off the General forum, because no one wants (or cares) to hear your opinions. Now go back to the other forums and post something worthy of reading.
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By Average Joe
#703356


When I was growing up, everybody drank booze. Beer was something you drank during the day if it was hot and you were thirsty, and if you drank wine (and most people didn’t) you drank it with dinner, and it always came from a gallon jug. Teetotalers were thought to be odd and untrustworthy, so in our circle, everyone threw back the hard stuff, starting with bloody marys and coffee royals in the morning and the classics come late afternoon. Seven and sevens. Scotch and sodas. Vodka tonics. Martinis. Manhattans. That kind of stuff.

We had one cabinet in our house that was full of booze, and everybody we visited had one as well. None of it was fancy, and a lot of it was rotgut, worse than what you’d find in the wells of the shittiest dives, but it got the job done.

A few years after my wife and I moved into our current house, my brother and I remodeled the kitchen. There was a closet in the dining room, so I took off the door, slapped in a pair of cabinets, added a bit of tile, and used it as a place to store my booze.
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My wife and I (cough “me”) had a lot of friends and relatives who liked to drink, and we had some fine times back in the day, but we no longer entertain the way we used to, and a few weeks ago she said, “Do you think you can get rid of all that booze?”

“What do you mean?”

“We rarely have anyone over anymore, so why are you keeping all of those bottles?”

“But what if someone DOES come over and they want a vodka tonic? Or a rum and coke? Or a martini?”

“When was the last time that actually happened? Nobody just ‘pops in’ anymore, because all of the people we know who used to do that have moved or passed away. If you want to keep it, that’s fine, but just think about it.”

So I did just that. I thought about it. And I decided she was right.

And so two nights ago I picked up a half empty bottle of Jameson Black Barrel and said, “Time for you to go.”
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I don’t remember where this bottle came from, but both Neil and Cornholio drink this shit, so it was probably left over from one of our fishing trips. Anyway, there wasn’t much in it, and the next night it was toast.
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One down.

A lifetime ago, when the Austrian came out for a visit, I purchased a bottle of 21 ‘Farclas. Actually I purchased several bottles, but the remains of one bottle somehow survived. A reliable source tells me that Bookie Mitch puts the odds of his return at 100 to 1, so no need to keep this shit around any longer.
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More to come.
User avatar
By austrotard
#703357
confession: last time I showed up youse elected trump.

relates: that was a good trip.

elates: 80/1

lates: after 2024, 4/1
User avatar
By Average Joe
#703360
austrotard wrote: Wed Jul 20, 2022 8:53 pm relates: that was a good trip.
Yes. Yes it was. The older I get, the more I realize that they were all good trips. Even the bad ones.
austrotard wrote: Wed Jul 20, 2022 8:53 pm
elates: 80/1

lates: after 2024, 4/1
Having a man on the inside who knows the odds never hurts. I will plan accordingly.

By the way, the ‘Farclas was most enjoyable.
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Moving on.



Back in 2020, pxatim boarded a jet and flew out here during the early days of the pandemic in order to fulfill his lifelong dream of going crabbing with Cornholio. I bought a few bottles of this stuff so he'd have plenty of disinfectant. For reasons unknown he never finished this last one, so that burden now falls upon my shoulders.
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User avatar
By Average Joe
#703366
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My neighbor gave me this a couple of years back.
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User avatar
By LA Fly Guy
#703369
I guess this method is better than just pouring all of them in a tub and making one giant mixed drink jungle juice style.

I like the back stories on most of the leftover bottles so far.
User avatar
By Average Joe
#703370
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I became friends with the VP of Contracts at the last company I worked for. We’d sometimes go out for lunch or have drinks after work, and my wife and I had her and her husband over for dinner a couple of times after I retired. Her husband was a great guy, and always showed up with a handful of premium cigars and a nice bottle of booze. This is what’s left of the last bottle he brought over.

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User avatar
By austrotard
#703371
confession: I would like to do this with bags of weed.

relates: but I smoke them before they're even out of the drive.

elates: hmmm. very much so.
User avatar
By RFA
#703372
Allergy medicine for you, poof.....I bet you have trash cans full of it.
User avatar
By Average Joe
#703373
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The Old Man used to have a couple bottles of this stuff in his liquor cabinet. I never saw him drink it, so one day I pinched one. That was over thirty years ago.

Cheers Old Man.
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User avatar
By Average Joe
#703377
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Years ago my wife’s cousin and her husband had us over for dinner. They’d just returned from a Caribbean cruise, and insisted we try their new favorite drink: Mount Homo rum and Squirt. We used to see them quite a bit, so I bought a bottle for the next time they came over. A few months later they moved out of the area.
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User avatar
By fatman
#703380
I need to go to a meeting after reading this :smile
(keep it coming)
User avatar
By LA Fly Guy
#703381
I gotta know Joe, are you picking the bottles at random, or is there some order to which you are finishing them off?
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