A Confession

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Average Joe
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Re: A Confession

Post by Average Joe » Mon Aug 26, 2019 10:43 am

B.M. Barrelcooker wrote:
Mon Aug 26, 2019 9:59 am
Is the scatter gun for snakes or bears?
Both. It's pretty versatile. The key is using the right ammo for the right quarry.

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LA Fly Guy
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Re: A Confession

Post by LA Fly Guy » Mon Aug 26, 2019 11:08 am

B.M. Barrelcooker wrote:
Mon Aug 26, 2019 9:59 am
Is the scatter gun for snakes or bears?
Didja notice the fine head wear Joe is sporting?
... there are two kind of anglers, sight fishermen and the rest of you. If you don't see it first, it doesn't count. - Long Haired Dave

Bait fishermen and flatlanders that can't catch redfish spend more time fishing for specks - Redchaser

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B.M. Barrelcooker
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Re: A Confession

Post by B.M. Barrelcooker » Mon Aug 26, 2019 1:53 pm

Average Joe wrote:
Mon Aug 26, 2019 10:43 am
B.M. Barrelcooker wrote:
Mon Aug 26, 2019 9:59 am
Is the scatter gun for snakes or bears?
Both. It's pretty versatile. The key is using the right ammo for the right quarry so as not to damage the meat.
fixed it for ya Joe.
"worst that can happen is a big fat zero and a fine walk out of doors"---Chadroc

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mitch aka 2 fish
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Re: A Confession

Post by mitch aka 2 fish » Mon Aug 26, 2019 9:52 pm

confesschoo!

relates: no one wants to know.
hey! everyone entitled owns a right opinion, buddy.

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Fishwater
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Re: A Confession

Post by Fishwater » Tue Aug 27, 2019 1:04 am

Speaking of scatter guns, I installed some gun racks in my gun closet and afterward did some inventory. I’m missing a 20 ga Citori O/U that was given to me by my dad several years ago. I’ve asked both buddies who may have borrowed it and both (claim they) don’t have it. I have one more place to look unless one of y’all borrowed it that I don’t remember.

On a positive note, I loaded the 15 spots in the racks I installed for long guns, have room in the closet for 12 more but after that will be shy room for at least 30 more long guns that’ll have to stay in the safe. I think I’m ready for the zombies.
The famous are rarely relevant, the relevant rarely famous.

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B.M. Barrelcooker
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Re: A Confession

Post by B.M. Barrelcooker » Tue Aug 27, 2019 7:00 am

I lost a 9mm for about 6 years........until I bought a new mattress.
"worst that can happen is a big fat zero and a fine walk out of doors"---Chadroc

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Fishwater
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Re: A Confession

Post by Fishwater » Thu Aug 29, 2019 2:04 am

B.M. Barrelcooker wrote:
Tue Aug 27, 2019 7:00 am
I lost a 9mm for about 6 years........until I bought a new mattress.
I finally fessed up to the old man. About an hour later he texted me back and said he had it.

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mitch aka 2 fish
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Re: A Confession

Post by mitch aka 2 fish » Thu Aug 29, 2019 2:08 am

and I'll bet he could've rang you back in 2min.

dads are the best cunts.
hey! everyone entitled owns a right opinion, buddy.

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Average Joe
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Re: A Confession

Post by Average Joe » Sun Sep 01, 2019 5:00 pm

My wife likes to keep an assortment of snacks next to my la-z-boy recliner.

Sometimes she’ll put them out in the container they came in, but other times she’ll put them into smaller containers in order to ration them.

Like I have no self control.
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Anyway, two weeks back I came home from work and found some new snacks.
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I looked at my wife and said, “Do you honestly think these will help to prevent me from pissing all over the toilet seat?”

“Put that down! Those aren’t for you, those are for the puppy!”

During our marriage we’ve looked after plenty of dogs - more than I can remember at this point - but it’s been well over twenty years since we’ve cared for a puppy.

As some of you know, my wife works with a golden retriever rescue organization. When the other volunteers discovered that we’d recently lost our dog to cancer, word spread quickly, and in less than two weeks a woman we’ve never met called and said, “I’ve got a puppy with your name on it.”

Soon afterwards, our house began to change.
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I went into the attic and pulled down the dog carrier I’ve had since before we were married.

My wife looked it over and said, “It smells funny. And the door is rusted. There’s no way I’m going to let my puppy sleep in that thing. Get rid of it.”

The next day I came home to this.
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Soon afterwards, dog beds started sprouting up everywhere.
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Then I noticed that all of the house plants that once thrived in front of the fireplace were now gone.
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“So what happened to all of the plants?”

“I got rid of them. We can’t have those types of houseplants if we’re getting a puppy. What’s wrong with you?”

“Uhhh…. lots of things, but OK.”

Later that evening I sat down in my recliner, cracked open some pistachios, and tossed the shells where the trash can usually resides. They ended up all over the carpet instead.

“What did you do with my trash can?”

“I put it on top of that cabinet. We can’t have a trash can on the floor if we’re getting a puppy. What’s wrong with you?””

“More than I’m willing to share.”

I picked up the shells and then tossed them in the can on top of the cabinet.
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Then I walked into the bedroom and said, “What’s all this?”
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“Those are her toys. We don’t want her getting bored.”

“Of course not. God forbid she live the life of an accountant.”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.”

Anyway.

We picked her up yesterday morning.
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My wife said, “I’m going to call her Trixie.”

“After the prostitute in Deadwood?”

“No, after the author Dean Koontz’s now-deceased golden retriever.”

When my wife was out of ear shot I looked at the pup and said, “Don’t listen to her. You’re named after the filthy little blonde whore from Deadwood, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
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Can't tell you how glad I am we've got all of these fucking dog beds all over the house.
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At least someone here is getting some sleep.

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Jon
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Re: A Confession

Post by Jon » Sun Sep 01, 2019 5:27 pm

Izzat an honest-to-dog functioning VCR in the pic with the trash can? Props. :cool

Damn cute pup, but aren't they all.
"unsalvageably incoherent"

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mitch aka 2 fish
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Re: A Confession

Post by mitch aka 2 fish » Sun Sep 01, 2019 6:42 pm

shit. now you've made me late for the dentist.
hey! everyone entitled owns a right opinion, buddy.

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yard4sale
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Re: A Confession

Post by yard4sale » Sun Sep 01, 2019 8:22 pm

Dollars to donuts that dog is more likely to eat that electric cord with the pool noodle wrapping.

Guessing your wife doesn’t subscribe to the Wolters method....
You can't go back and you can't stand still
If the thunder don't get you then the lightning will

When your choices are between a pedophile religious zealot or a dem suddenly the pedophile religious zealot doesn't sound too bad. - PLOW

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