Byproduct of Getting Old

All threads that bitch about new, existing, or old members will be posted/relocated here. Keep this shit off the General forum, because no one wants (or cares) to hear your opinions. Now go back to the other forums and post something worthy of reading.
User avatar
D-nymph
Posts: 4823
Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 3:43 pm
Location: SWPA

Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by D-nymph » Wed Oct 10, 2012 8:21 pm

Average Joe wrote:
You obviously have a dog. You know how disgusting they can be.

Look at this face.
Maggio.JPG
What makes you think he wouldn't drag my shit-filled pants into the kitchen and roll on them?

:bomb
I do and mine likes shit as well. Turkey shit, specifically is her favorite perfume. She hasn't had the opportunity for man poo yet, but I'm sure she'd love it.

For your sake, I was hoping you were just writing a comedy routine, because that's nasty. But it's also hillarious.

Good luck!

:cool
"The devil's pourin drinks and his daughter needs a ride" - III

User avatar
Average Joe
Posts: 2702
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:04 pm
Location: Where they rip out the trees and name streets after them.

Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by Average Joe » Wed Oct 10, 2012 8:24 pm

My wife is eating tortilla chips and homemade guacamole as she tells me about her day.

Half an hour ago she put her dinner into the oven: leftover chicken enchiladas and chile verde tamales.

The aroma has filled the entire neighborhood.

I am starring at my lukewarm chicken broth.

She keeps asking me why the dog and the house smell like shit.

I've no doubt the police and/or animal control will be knocking at my door before the sun sets this evening.

User avatar
Average Joe
Posts: 2702
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:04 pm
Location: Where they rip out the trees and name streets after them.

Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by Average Joe » Wed Oct 10, 2012 10:22 pm

Round two. Half a liter down.

After watching what the people living in the British Isles went through after Hitler took France, this all seems trivial.

The poor souls in London who lived through endless nights of firebombing must have thought the Western World was coming to an end.

User avatar
CarpeTructa
Posts: 1445
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 12:35 am
Location: The Range of Light

Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by CarpeTructa » Thu Oct 11, 2012 12:45 am

You got pineapple flavor? I didn't get a pineapple option. That probably would have made it much easier. Bastard.
Somebody else is going to have to watch the door for me now. Make sure to keep the riff-raff out. Outcast (RIP)

User avatar
shunned
Posts: 9999
Joined: Wed May 02, 2007 1:01 am
Location: prison... but only on the weekends.
Contact:

Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by shunned » Thu Oct 11, 2012 4:45 am

I know I shouldn't laugh...
the depths of your narcissism never cease to amaze me

-raffa of all fucking people




.

User avatar
SOBF
Posts: 9035
Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2005 1:01 am
Location: Maine

Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by SOBF » Thu Oct 11, 2012 3:48 pm

As a 5X experienced colonoscopy recipient WHY did you doubt me !!!!!! You'll now chuckle at those stupid commercials that are touting some product to get rid of the sludge in your colon. After you piss clear liquid from your ass you realize there is no sludge.

User avatar
LuckyBastard
Posts: 362
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 1:01 am
Location: Kazakaustraliastan

Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by LuckyBastard » Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:28 am

Seen worms on the scope screen a couple of times. :vomit
Just typin...
"Honey, one more cast, then we''ll go, promise..."

User avatar
SOBF
Posts: 9035
Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2005 1:01 am
Location: Maine

Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by SOBF » Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:12 am

Seen worms on the scope screen a couple of times
And you go by Lucky Bastard ??? Really

User avatar
LuckyBastard
Posts: 362
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 1:01 am
Location: Kazakaustraliastan

Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by LuckyBastard » Sat Oct 13, 2012 7:19 pm

You haven't seen my missus. That's why.
"Honey, one more cast, then we''ll go, promise..."

User avatar
SOBF
Posts: 9035
Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2005 1:01 am
Location: Maine

Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by SOBF » Sun Oct 14, 2012 5:12 pm

You haven't seen my missus. That's why.
You and Mitch have the same sense of humor. Although I understand you.

User avatar
west_jay
Posts: 1048
Joined: Sat Oct 24, 2009 6:01 pm
Location: The Commonwealth
Contact:

Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by west_jay » Tue Oct 16, 2012 7:12 pm

I'm 53.

You almost had me at "Ass cancer is a nasty way to die."

Then three pages of this :vomit

Christsakes. Modern medicine, indeed.
I never met anyone named Joel that wasn't a complete knob. – CharlieJenkem

User avatar
befuddled
Posts: 4397
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2005 1:01 am
Location: NC

Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by befuddled » Wed Oct 17, 2012 10:25 am

Oh my God, I have tears in my eyes.

I'm so sorry for laughing, it'll be me one day I know, but between the descriptions here and that link, that's the best laugh I've had in a while

and thanks, btw, at least I know what to expect. Probably get a motel room for that night :cheer
There are so many dildos out there, you''d think setting their phones to vibrate would come naturally. ---SUAF

greedy capitalist/liberal-elitist/gun-toting profit monger

We'll wake the dead motherfucker. Fuck you. ---- Fallen513

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: SOBF and 18 guests