Byproduct of Getting Old

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slapshot
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Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by slapshot » Mon Dec 10, 2012 6:14 pm

Whatever drug they gave me was supposed to make me loopy. I was completely lucid. I just couldn't feel a damned thing. The nurses wanted to talk about my tattoos. That was awkward.
"Hey nice ink!"
"You're about to violate me without even buying me a drink"
"Is that a dragon?"
"..."

Wife has Crohn's. Colonoscopies are an accepted fact in this world.
I usually drop em in the grass and then fish out another cast or two while I wait for them to get tired enough to hold still - that way you can actually tell how long they are against the rod. - JT

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T.J. Brayshaw
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Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by T.J. Brayshaw » Mon Dec 10, 2012 7:12 pm

slapshot wrote: I was completely lucid. I just couldn't feel a damned thing.
Well then what the hell's the point?






(Also Note to self: When trying to violate a guy, pick one with tattoos, and try to get him talking about them.)

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jdub
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Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by jdub » Wed Dec 12, 2012 9:40 pm

I had one of those the other day. When I woke up the nurse taking care of me was a knockout and I was hitting on her as much as a person could after having a tube shoved up their ass a few minutes before. My wife strolled in and turns out she is good buddies with the nurse. I was dead meat.
"There will be days when the fishing is better than one's most optimistic forecast, others when it is far worse. Either is a gain over just staying home." Roderick Haig-Brown

http://utahstreamaccess.org/

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Jed
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Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by Jed » Fri Dec 14, 2012 1:29 am

Just to note,
That drink is not really palatable. You have to drink a gallon. The first 1/2 quart goes down fast enough, but the taste is not anything like enjoyable. You take a break and then start on the second 1/2 quart. By this time you are full and don't need anymore fluids, but you do so you keep on drinking. You feel a bit bloated by the time the first quart is finished. Only 3 more to go. Somewhere along the middle of the second quart the taste is on longer not so good. It becomes well bad. Like drinking bilge water. But you soldier on. Somehow you get the second quart down and you feel like you don't know if your going to shit or go blind. Actually you do know, you're going to shit. You want to keep squeezing you cheeks to avoid any accidents as you start to get that sensation. On to quart 3. By now the taste makes you gag. Its hard to do more than sips but you are afraid that if you don't get it in, all of it in then all of it won't come out. You can't imagine not getting it all out because you never, never want to repeat this process. So you sip on, squeezing cheeks and sipping and gagging. You force yourself to keep this up with bloated stomach, having to piss like a racehorse and being afraid to move for fear of not making it to the bowl. Somehow quart 3 is done and you are marching on to the end of it all and FUCK, forget the bottle, you race to the throne, as fast as you can with cheeks tight. You set yourself down and there is no prep, no time to pick up the Drake for a good read, no time to light up that cigarette. As soon as your ass is over the bowl, contact with the seat or not the plug gets blown and holy shit, unholy shit and any other kind of shit you had comes out all at once. You never imagined your asshole could allow such volume. Flow is measured in css (cubic shits per second) and the number is high! Then, you are done, exhausted sitting on the can unable to move, relieved and barely able to wipe your ass. Its all water, no problem there. All you have to do is get to a point where you feel okay leaving the safety of the can with some sense of security that you won't shit your drawers.

It really is a good idea to get a colonoscopy. It just isn't the most fun in the world. I'd rather be fishing. I'm due again.

My name is Jed and I endorse this message.

jed

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SOBF
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Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by SOBF » Sat Dec 29, 2012 10:19 am

Having just gone to the doc yesterday for a physical I asked my doc why they don't do the prostate check when they do the colonoscopy. Seems like a reasonable request to me since the drugs are good. No drugs when doc big fingers starts checking yer prostate tonsils

whheff
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Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by whheff » Sat Dec 29, 2012 3:29 pm

SOBF wrote:Having just gone to the doc yesterday for a physical I asked my doc why they don't do the prostate check when they do the colonoscopy. Seems like a reasonable request to me since the drugs are good. No drugs when doc big fingers starts checking yer prostate tonsils
You would be crossing job descriptions. The nut doc would file a grievance on the butt doc.

You should also be aware that you talk when you are under those goooood drugs. They said I was talking about my dog which made the wife mad but it could have been worse. :cool

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Spicytuna
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Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by Spicytuna » Sat Dec 29, 2012 5:03 pm

whheff wrote:
SOBF wrote:Having just gone to the doc yesterday for a physical I asked my doc why they don't do the prostate check when they do the colonoscopy. Seems like a reasonable request to me since the drugs are good. No drugs when doc big fingers starts checking yer prostate tonsils
You would be crossing job descriptions. The nut doc would file a grievance on the butt doc.

You should also be aware that you talk when you are under those goooood drugs. They said I was talking about my dog which made the wife mad but it could have been worse. :cool
You probably volunteered for yours didn't you, and I would not mention the dog talk again if I were you sick frea. Also you have been here over a year and somehow missed this

http://www.drakemag.com/index.php?optio ... =1&t=21108

:sucks its not that hard meat
"In truth you can throw dries and swing flies and still be a loser. That would be an elite loser though.
Rare breed." - MTgrayling

"You guys know the Magic Hour???? Yeah it just happened I was there!!!" DK

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Pancho Rancho
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Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by Pancho Rancho » Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:22 am

In hour 15 of bowel prep. I'm butt hurt.
Fuck 'em and feed 'em fish

Oh, and nice fishes. Randall Dee

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Lenny
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Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by Lenny » Tue Jan 08, 2013 4:21 pm

Pancho Rancho wrote:In hour 15 of bowel prep. I'm butt hurt.

looking forward to a complete TR tomorrow

Speaking of that, we're due for another vasectomy TR. Someone must be having one, its winter.
"Get back home where you belong, and dont ya run off no more"

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Average Joe
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Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by Average Joe » Tue Jan 08, 2013 4:23 pm

Pancho Rancho wrote:In hour 15 of bowel prep. I'm butt hurt.
You have my sympathy.

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Pancho Rancho
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Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by Pancho Rancho » Tue Jan 08, 2013 4:48 pm

It was all good (results). I get to bleed for a while though. The anestesiologist was hot. I think she likes me. Demerol is a helluva drug.
Fuck 'em and feed 'em fish

Oh, and nice fishes. Randall Dee

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Average Joe
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Re: Byproduct of Getting Old

Post by Average Joe » Tue Jan 08, 2013 4:58 pm

Pancho Rancho wrote:It was all good (results).
Glad to hear it.

:cool

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