All threads that bitch about new, existing, or old members will be posted/relocated here. Keep this shit off the General forum, because no one wants (or cares) to hear your opinions. Now go back to the other forums and post something worthy of reading.
User avatar
By austrotard
#611670
mitch: so I'm going to have to take it easy. minimum risks. I didn't get any insurance.

fatman: what? no health insurance??

mitch: nope. not unless it's included in my credit card or car insurances.

fatman: wow.

mitch: so I need you to remember two things in case of an accident...

fatman: what's that?

mitch: empty my pockets and restore factory settings.
User avatar
By austrotard
#611706
skully: I don't know which one of you keeps pissing on the toilet seat but you need to rehydrate. seriously.
Last edited by austrotard on Tue Nov 24, 2015 9:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
By pbrstreetgang
#611710
skully: "Hey man, you're in my bed."

pxatim: "What?"

skully: "You're in my bed."

pxa: "No I'm not, yours is back there."

skully: "Oh" (walks to the center of the cabin car and stops at the garbage can, staring out the window)

me: "Chris, you alright?"

skully: "What? Yeah..."

me: "Then go to fucking bed"

--------------------

also heard in same cabin about 4 hours earlier...

lurker: "This place sure is rapey. Look at these bunks with the rapey white plastic on them"
User avatar
By austrotard
#611752
mitch: I've never seen so many fucking ads stating what could possibly be wrong with you... the 'you know what your problem is?' campaign.

fatman: yeah. it's a mess.

mitch: and now wait a fucking second here... I've just had a reveerla... revers... revolatio... an idea. how many of you lot are on medication?

skully: I'm not.

mitch: holy fuck. there's like nine of us here and the only two that aren't rattling are chris and I? that's fucked up.

hpff: there's only five of us.

mitch: and on that note I'm off to bedfordshire, mates.
User avatar
By austrotard
#611786
hpff: y'all look like two monkeys trying to fuck a football.

peebs: hmphahahaha! [/milk nose!]

fatman: geez. I'd thought everyone'd heard that one before.

peebs: whooooo. not me... fuck me, that's funny.

mitch: damn tootin'.
User avatar
By austrotard
#611787
fatman: no fish?

mitch: suuuummmmmmbitch!

fatman: ha ha. you do that quite well.

mitch: gerry taught me. listen to this... "peay-per, cuuuume!"

fatman: oh man, that's awesome.

mitch: yeah. I've been practising since last year.
User avatar
By austrotard
#612244
skully: mitch.

mitch: yeah?

skully: shoes, buddy.

mitch: I know. they're awesome. korean, believe it or not.

skully: great. take them off. no shoes in the house.

mitch: really?

skully. really. and don't let the cat out.

mitch: what? do you mean that cat in garden?

skully: aw, feck.

peebs: I'll take care of your shoes, mate. [/fucked straight into bin]
User avatar
By austrotard
#612245
mitch: I need a favour, mate.

skully: what's that?

mitch: I want you to order three pizzas and one hundred wings and I'm going to pay for it.

skully: what do you want?

mitch: I want a pepperoni pizza.

skully: okay. but one thing you must know... there's no pig in my house.

mitch: if you say so, mate. I didn't see one...

skully: no, mate. we don't eat pork. no pig in the house.

mitch: I don't understand.

skully: there's pig in pepperoni...

mitch: and?

skully: I won't eat it.

mitch: we'll start again. I want a pepperoni pizza and one hundred wings. what do you want?

skully: what do you mean?

mitch: order yourself a pizza. fuck those guys. looking at them they'll probably order a pigmeat feastfest so you order whatever your heart desires... my treat, mate.

skully: I'll just have cheese.

mitch: adventurous. we'll see if we can keep you out of baskin robbins, hey.
User avatar
By flybug.pa.
#612289
I've coffee running out of my nose on that one
and it hurts.
Austrian . ouch.
#612800
Lurgee - "Justin's Hammered Again"


Hogleg "I have TDC"
redchaser "what's TDC"
Hogleg "Too drunk to cast"


Lurgee - "It's time for an uncomfortably long awkward hug"
redchaser "uggh"


Fatman - "I'm glad we're fishing 3 in the boat tomorrow, being on the front of that boat all day is tiring"
redchaser (who had been on the push pole all day) - "awww, that's cute"
Fatman - "I guess I put my foot in that one didn't I?"
User avatar
By pbrstreetgang
#612802
fucking fatman...always cognizant


one I forgot from pre-Rustbake

Mitch: Hey mate, is this stretch of highway safe, ya know, if I want to roll?

Me: Um, yeah, sure. Safe as any other stretch of highway I guess. Never been here, but I'd say yeah.

(Mitch gets to work...a few plus minutes go by)

Me: Um...SHIT. So guess what just passed us??? A fucking cruiser dressed up like an SUV. FUCK ME...holy shit.

Mitch: How does one miss a big black police truck like that speeding up to you on the highway?

Me: They didn't have rollers on top...
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