- Tue Oct 02, 2012 11:33 am
#487780
Unlike golden beetle and the young blossoms that stared in “Ass Titans 4”, my Hershey highway has always been a one-way street. That will change a week from this Thursday when I undergo my first colonoscopy.
For those of you unfamiliar with the procedure, it goes something like this: using an air compressor, the lower intestine is inflated to the diameter of an overstuffed Polish sausage, after which a camera mounted on the end of a flexible tube gets shoved roughly 1200-1500 millimeters up your ass. That’s approximately four to five feet for the metrically challenged. It’s something like snaking a drain, only there’s nothing to unclog because the day before undergoing this procedure you’re required to consume two liters of Liquid Plumber.
I was given some “flavor packs” that are designed to make this stuff a little more palatable, but you can’t just sip this shit like a mint julep. You need to chug it and then wait for your bowels to cry havoc and let slip all of the nasties hiding in your digestive tract.
After that, it’s twenty-four hours of drinking approved liquids and shitting.
I’m hoping one box will be enough.
Payment for anyone who bothered to read this.
For those of you unfamiliar with the procedure, it goes something like this: using an air compressor, the lower intestine is inflated to the diameter of an overstuffed Polish sausage, after which a camera mounted on the end of a flexible tube gets shoved roughly 1200-1500 millimeters up your ass. That’s approximately four to five feet for the metrically challenged. It’s something like snaking a drain, only there’s nothing to unclog because the day before undergoing this procedure you’re required to consume two liters of Liquid Plumber.
I was given some “flavor packs” that are designed to make this stuff a little more palatable, but you can’t just sip this shit like a mint julep. You need to chug it and then wait for your bowels to cry havoc and let slip all of the nasties hiding in your digestive tract.
After that, it’s twenty-four hours of drinking approved liquids and shitting.
I’m hoping one box will be enough.
Payment for anyone who bothered to read this.