[shunned]

[report]tonight live from austria

featuring

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with special guest, puddleduck doppelganger

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starring in 'a lot of afghan in little italy'

now shut up... this is going to take me all bloody night.

I don't know who grassed us up but some of you fairies have managed to twig that I've been on a trip.
and what a trip it was... I'm making this up as I go along as I don't remember much of it.

I was allowed 30kilos... I only took one.

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managed not to crash the car on the way to the birdcage.

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you'll wonder why there's no pictures of london... because it's none of your fucking business.
all you need to know is I hit it hard.
really fucking hard ron type hard.
I greened out on the third day.

but on the day after that... we flew to italy and nicked a motor.

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it had my name on it

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got in late.
pissed and ponging of hash.

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headed to the west end

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where roy was done for soliciting.

get out of my dreams and into my car, roy.jpg (91.58 KiB) Viewed 4836 times

thought about buying a crane

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before I remembered I don't speak italian.

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got a bit homesick

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so I went fishing.
ringring ringring
joey bagabagels: 'pronto!'
I swear that's how the bastard answered the phone.

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I'm hoping ginny sully will translate.

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[/report]

this is the first of 5 parts but I swear if you interrupt... I'll keep on anyway.

I hate you all.

[shunned]

[report]they sell 13 tickets for 8km or some shit... fuck knows.
all I know is it 30euro a day for the pair of us.
we wondered if it would be okay if we just fished a little bit further apart... we didn't.

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you cannot fish earlier than 830am.
you cannot fish later than 9pm.
you can fish only dries and nymphs upstream on barbless.
you cannot enter the first klick of water.
you cannot fish on tuesdays.

I love this place already, it just makes sense.

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bang! first of... I don't know... millions, I reckon.

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this is bug.

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grayling were out of season until the 15th.
that's either tomorrow or yesterday.

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I asked for grayling, mario.jpg (109.56 KiB) Viewed 4816 times

roy got his game on.

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roy also tugs his dink.jpg (61.52 KiB) Viewed 4814 times

it looked promising.
it was fucking freezing.

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finally something bigger than austrian trout.

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apparently these work just as well as a luminescent foam rattle.
I'm skeptical.

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[/report]

[Ginseng Sullivan]

let me be the first to interrupt, i can't speak a word of polish so i don't know what that sign says but i like the no kill part. great report so far, gotta get one of those 3 wheel vans.

[Kyner]

Too bad Heero didn't make it. Carry on, sorry for the interuption.

[SLSS]

Keep it coming.

[shunned]

[report]it was endless.
well... until 9pm anyway.

roy pulls his dink in my net sometimes.jpg (94.34 KiB) Viewed 4785 times

these old train tunnels were everywhere.
if ww3 ever breaks out, hide in italy... they'll never find you.

just don't come to austria.
we're full.

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tattoo removal is fucking expensive, just ask me mate stewart (stuart).

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woke up to this shit... so no change there then.

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we'll fish gentlemen hours.
trans. we had a late night and suffered coughing fits in the morning.

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something to soak up that peroni.

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limited resources and the fact that fishing dries in the pissing rain dictated roy spent the last evening skinning up and tying these.
I watched and drank more nastro.

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I think on average there is one wild fish for every yard of this drink.
as they were italian fish, about 20 of the fuckers crowded themselves in this spot.

hole full of picky little bastards.jpg (189.71 KiB) Viewed 4784 times

19 of them were elusive shitbags.

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rain didn't make that much difference.
unless of course you tried to smoke.

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buggered off early.
roy was wet and cold and I had the munchies.

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I'm calling halftime. I need to smoke a cone.
the next two parts will probably take a little bit longer.

go bell your old boy... it'll save you doing it tomorrow.[/report]

[Heero]

Nice pizza.

[Truchero]

I don't know who grassed us up but some of you fairies have managed to twig that I've been on a trip.

managed not to crash the car on the way to the birdcage.

really fucking hard ron type hard.

I greened out on the third day.

...we flew to italy and nicked a motor.

...pissed and ponging of hash.

Now this is a great post!

It would just be so much better if the captions were written in english...

Does anyone here speak austrian well enough to translate?

[shunned]

[report]I really like italian beer

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I mean really really.

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after 5 days I felt I got the gist of the fairioli language.

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I tell you something about italians... they love 3 things.

meat
mascara
mitch

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we went to see the tallest falls in europe.

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as it was no fish tuesday and we were running out of petroli, we gave the 4x4 back in near new condition.

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heero is a moron.

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now if this was a contest we'd win but I don't want to upset anyone.
God forbid hammersmith go and snuff someone for the winning photo... no extra points for freshness, bruce.

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reef the engineer.jpg (131.83 KiB) Viewed 4705 times

sometimes places really feel like home... this place feels like my shed.

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before leaving, I instructed the travel agent in italian I wanted a 'high class brass'.

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there is nothing like being chauffeured around italy and as we were back in the land of fog and piss and the sure-fire place to find licorice papers, we celebrated. (we'd run out on day 4)
back on the right side of the road... well mostly.

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stopped and stayed in a motel.
I swear I've never stayed in one before.
fuck me... my pants just caught on fire.

swindon 5 star byo brothel.jpg (64.51 KiB) Viewed 4701 times

in the morning we headed off to wales for a day.
this is the best thing in wales.

the bridge going back to england.

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[/report]

[shunned]

[report]I started to get a bit nervous... we were running out of safety gear and we were in the equivalent of un zed.
shaun the sheep was playing over and over in me bonce, mocking me...

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I'd sooner risk the moors.

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hearing them talk is akin to a cat being sick.

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if wales had roos cars wouldn't have windscreens.

*interesting fact* roy drives like a fucking lunatic.
just typing.

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I fancied an easy day

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filler photo.

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I've two of these courtesy of the man and they will never be fished.
because right at the minute I don't know where they are.

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only salmo knows for sure.jpg (100.65 KiB) Viewed 4644 times

have you seen my back?

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could only land one in wales. fuck it.jpg (82.36 KiB) Viewed 4643 times

before I left austria I got a pm from this fella from tejas stating he'd be about on the 6-7 june.
what's the first thing he wanted to talk about? fucking .

my mate, cheers for the gifts... and give a big kiss to shu... he'd be chuffed to know how well that redneck cap suits me.

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cool as fcuk, me.

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mates.
I was fucking rapt to see this place.

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stay tuned for extras and director's comments[/report]

[BearsFan]

Good shit, I fished around Todi and Gubbio a few years back. Looks familiar.

[shunned]

[report]roy,

I want the lads here to know that if they are ever 8hrs across the pond they should look you up as I had a fucking blast.
never a dull moment and always in good spirits. I reckon the only time I was sober was in between the minute I woke until the minute I first run into you every day. good times.
I was honoured to fish with you and even after I told you I knew absolutely everything about fly fishing and fly tying you still managed to look out for us. well done and thank you.

sincerely,
mitch

revelation of the trip: roy really really misses his citreon ds. I have never experienced banshee mourning like that in my life.

confession of the trip: roy, mate... I know fuck all about cars.

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looks like an austrian drake bake

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tossers.[/report]