things I a-heared at drake camp

[austrotard]

513: so hey... are you two all right?

cc: I'm all right. you?
mitch: no. we're all good , mate.

513: oh, right. it's just... well... I thought you two were going to kill each other.

cc: ha ha. really.
mitch: I believe we uh... overcame our differences or some shit.
cc: yeah, besides... I'm tired of kicking the shit out of mitch. did it all through the 80's if I remember correctly.

513: wait a sec here. where the fuck are you from, mitch?

cc: I don't think that's any of your concern.
mitch: not too far from here anyway.

513: what, so you fellas know each other from before???

cc: we used to knock around the same places you might say.
mitch: yeah. and that's why I left in '88.

513: umm. okay. well you two have a good time. I umm... gotta go speak to someone.

cc: take it easy, man.
mitch: but hurry back. we've some 21yr olds to kill.

513: wha...?? oh. oh right. cool.

[austrotard]

mitch: is there gas in the car?

porno: yes, there's gas in the car...

mitch: I think the neighbours down the hall know who we are.

porno/mitch: bwahahahaha!

peebs: youse two are dicks.

[austrotard]

charlie: that chick was cute.

porno: yes she was.

mitch: are you two talking about that ginger bird that was here last night?

porno: yep.
charlie: yeah, that's right. that ginger bird that came by last night.

mitch: really??? jfc, lads. if you think that's cute the minute you two come to austria you're going to fucking faint.

[austrotard]

porno: hey, mitch!.. skin up!

(I believe this was on a loop.)

[austrotard]

mitch: holy fuck. have you been out of those waders?

jose: nope. [/cracks beer]

mitch: dude. you went to bed like 13hrs ago.

jose: yep.

mitch: and you slept in those waders.

jose: yep.

513: holy shit, joe. are you still in those waders?

jose: yep.

mitch: I'll give you $5 if I can smell them.

513: ewww. that's fucked up.

jose: yep. [/cracks beer]

[austrotard]

mitch: so there was this bird up in alaska. looked like rae dawn chong. gawd, she was hawt. I remember thinking 'what the fuck is a black bird doing up in alaska' but at the same time... she wasn't full blown black.

ironman: sorry?

mitch: what?

ironman: what do you mean?

mitch: what do you mean?

ironman: what do you mean full blown black?

mitch: she wasn't though.

ironman: no. I'm asking you... what do you mean by full blown black?

[/tumbleweed of awkward silence]

mitch: jfc. you know how in the cosby show everyone of them was a different colour? we'll she was light. basically, not 4am in the morning nigeria if you catch my drift. anyway, she was fucking gorgeous. and when we were at the train yard in alaska I fucked her in the shower.

bystander: really?

mitch: no. but that's what I told gerry.

ironman: so you're a wanker?

mitch: yep. [/cracks beer]

[austrotard]

mitch: 4:20, bishes!

(I believe this was also on a loop.)



and to be fair, it is 4:20.
I'll be back in a minute.

[austrotard]

mitch: where the fuck is blummers?

ironman: he went home.

mitch: what the fuck do you mean he went home?

ironman: he hung around for two hours waiting for you. he had to work.

mitch: so wait... he hung about here just to say hello?

ironman: yep.

mitch: oh, for fucks sake... if I knew he was just going to fuck off I would've spent more time with him. I kinda shrugged him off as I thought I'd see him later. now I feel like a dick.

ironman: shit. sorry. I thought you knew.

mitch: he was looking quite trim, mind. half the lad I met four years ago. looked like he had the cancer flu.

fatman: hee hee... as you do.

[austrotard]

mitch: right. so who wants to snap a picture of cc pushing me on the swings?

peebs: oooh, man... we are sooo fucking doing this.

cc: no we're not.

[austrotard]

slss: if you make me yell I'll fucking kill you.

[SLSS]

slss: if you make me yell I'll fucking kill you.

Yelling, whispering. Same, same.

More recall please. Good with my morning coffee.

[El Jeffe]

Heard while walking by the camp fire


"our boyfriends don't care if we smoke pot"


spoiler: they cared.